If one day your child is crying and making a fuss without explaining the reason, there is a high probability that many parents will feel irritable, and try to extinguish this incident in the shortest possible time, yell at her or be rude or go directly to the guy to make a meal, and the child will stop immediately.
Whether it is found that this kind of parenting incident that has not been solved by the essence will eventually be committed by the child, the parents will still be troubled, so the vicious circle continues, which is the post-80s, post-90s often say that children are difficult to educate.
The German educator Tistowe once said: "The differences in children's nature should be taken into account and unique development should be promoted." We cannot and should not make all people exactly the same and teach exactly the same things.
The author An Xiao objectively explains this series of phenomena in "Conforming to the Nature of Children" the best way to solve children's problems with children's perspectives and minds to find that they are not actually against us.
It is true that in the face of this generation of parents, who are old and young, they will observe their children's situation so carefully.
Walk into the author
An Xiao is a master's degree from the University of the Arts London, an animation director and a psychology researcher at the University of London, Suki and Sula are her two girls, and when the child was born, she was helpless and could not understand why the child had such and so many requirements.
So she began to record the details of her child's daily life and psychological thoughts in a lyrical way.
With the record of more and the thought, "Oh, it turns out she did it, out of such a nature!" Children have such a need, which is the way they observe the world and interpret the laws of the world.
Two- and three-year-old babies' emotions and thoughts have not yet matured, and they have attracted the attention of parents through a variety of intense emotional expressions.
Older babies have a strong curiosity, and under the drive of the heart, a lot of thoughts burst out and they begin to have normal emotions and control of their thoughts.
These are the nature of children, understand the nature of children to guide, all problems are solved.
See nature, discover the child's talent;
Understand nature and empower children with a sense of security;
Unleash your nature and stimulate your child's inner drive with creativity.
Discover the nature of the child's transgression behavior in time and she says no
When I was a child, I remember very much going to the commissary, even if I didn't have money to buy snacks in my pocket, I saw these things and my psychology was beautiful, maybe I belonged to the kind of children who knew how to understand the family and struggled to restrain themselves.
However, The little Liu Mei is different, every time she will think of all kinds of reasons to coax her father to come to the commissary, and then use crying, not leaving, rolling way to let her father buy, it is strange that her father will be satisfied every time, for this reason she often shares the winning snack reward with me and does not forget to tell me that these moves are particularly useful.
Obviously, this kind of behavior of her father not only has no guidance, but also only encourages her inner little nine-nine.
The author says that in such a situation, we as parents insist on our own boundaries and do not buy.
Because the child's behavior is out of bounds and causes uncultured, psychologically distorted thoughts.
When the child knows that the result of not getting will naturally compromise, before going to bed with the child to analyze why not to buy, when to buy, then the child will know next time what behavior is effective and what behavior is ineffective.
Reject the form of yelling and nagging, because the actions of these two are negative energy, if used, it will make the child naturally associated with negative emotions, and it will also weaken the authority of the parents, and the language will appear pale and weak.
Clarify your child's sense of boundaries and let her understand that this boundary is clear and fixed.
For example, if the supermarket buys something and does not buy it, and then rolls away, then the behavior will not be understood and must be stopped.
At the same time the actions made as a parent are decisive and resolute say no!
Throw away anxiety and use fun to promote children's independent growth
Many mothers usually have to take the baby and work and have a lot of housework to complete, often complaining that they can't be completed, and they are anxious to the point of not being able to do it.
Then, for such a form, the author proposes a timely record observation without anxiety.
Record your child's interests, record game list purchases, and real-time mental journeys.
Schedule your child to spend at least an hour of outdoor activity a day and find that your child's favorite points of interest meet the appropriate requirements.
The author said that the child does not like to play on the swing, the seesaw guide at this time has no effect, and then found that the child likes the balance beam and the plum blossom stake very much, she will guide them to continue to play.
I also deeply agree with this point, and find that the child likes it, and when we guide it, the interest will naturally continue.
It's like water flowing down, and this form of going with the flow is the easiest way to do it, easy and effortless.
Write to the end
Understanding children, we can find easier ways to guide and enter a more comfortable state of getting along. The interpretation of nature, the more understanding of the child's inner thoughts, the relationship between parents and children is more natural.
As a mommy who is also two girls, when reading this book, I constantly have new ideas injected into my cognition, just like the author said: It is so happy to be a mother!
In the process of raising children, we have a new understanding of life, humanity, self and the world, and it feels good to return to childhood.
I also convey this insight to every reader who reads, and I hope that you will also sincerely perceive the beauty of childhood and the advent of angelic children, and accept, discover and promote them.
Grateful to meet this book, grateful to meet you who read this article, thank you thank you!
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