In the process of growing up, everyone will encounter more or less things that make them unhappy.
Some things, may be dragonflies a little water, after leaving no trace in the heart, will not have a negative impact on us; and some things, like a gloomy haze, are always shrouded around, making it impossible for people to be light and breezy, and even let us carry forward on the road of growth, and then affect the entire life.
Most of the things that affect us in the process of growing up occur during adolescence. Adolescence is a period of transition from childhood to adulthood and is a period of rapid physical and psychological growth. At this time, health, especially mental health, is crucial, and largely determines the way a person behaves in the world as an adult.
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Adolescence also means rebellion and disobedience in children.
Some children even have a strong rebellious heart, bumping into their parents, not loving to learn, parents are also depressed and headaches, but they don't know how to solve it.
The book "Why We Always Feel Like We're Not Good Enough" truly presents the problems that arise in the process of adolescents' growth due to their own personality and family and surrounding factors, and provides corresponding solutions. It is a vivid textbook on psychological counseling.
The author of this book, Sun Jing, is a national second-level psychological counselor and a senior teacher of mental health education. She has been a full-time psychological counselor for more than 20 years, accumulated rich experience in psychological counseling, and is an expert in family education guidance; she has edited many books on mental health education, and her cutting-edge academic level and practical ability can be seen in the book "Why We Always Feel We're Not Good Enough".
The book has 4 parts, the author uses 16 stories to tell, and each story can touch the reader's heart from different angles and give people inspiration.
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Puberty is a time when most parents are helpless.
Most of the protagonists of the story are children who are in the first and second years of high school and are prone to confusion in adolescence. This stage is also a stage where many parents are helpless.
Some of these children show enthusiasm, sunshine, self-confidence and strong side on the outside, but they are lonely, inferior, sensitive and vulnerable inside; some lose themselves because they are worried about losing friends, they blindly please others and lose themselves; some children behave "strangely" because they are not understood by the people around them, and are regarded as "mentally abnormal" and so on. These "psychological disorders" in their development plague children, leaving them trapped in negative and rebellious emotions that are difficult to extricate themselves from.
In each story, the author guides the different obstacles that appear in the protagonist, and strives to let the children get out of the psychological haze and become sunny.
The steps in the story for the counselor to eliminate the child's psychological disorder are: find the problem→ analyze the cause→ solve the problem.
After each story, there is a part "written in the back". It is a summary of the author's presentation problems with the story; a "message" to parents who encounter such problems; and finally a self-help method for children who encounter such problems.
For each child with problems, understand their feelings, explore the growth experience that forms the "crux of the problem", guide and work with the child to find out the root cause of their "confusion", and then formulate corresponding specific solutions, so that the child can step by step through the psychological barriers and restore healthy growth.
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Equality, cordiality, and empathy are important factors for successful communication.
The psychological counselor in the story does not stand high because he is a teacher, but has a humble attitude and communicates with the child equally; he also empathizes with the extreme emotions displayed by the child, which is an important reason why the child is willing to communicate with him.
In life, many parents do not understand the inner world of their children, cannot empathize with their children, but complain about their children: they do not like to talk, they do not have a common language with themselves, and they do not know what they think in their hearts. Not only does this not help the child solve the problem, but it may also make the problem worse.
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The growth of parents is a long-term solution to help children get out of difficulties.
The healthy growth of children comes from many factors, including society, schools, and families. Among these three factors, the family is the most important, and parents are irreplaceable roles in the child's growth process.
I once saw a passage on the Internet:
Parents are a gifted character, but good parents are not. The amount of self-growth that parents can lead our children as far as they can.
There is a joke that parents are an untrained profession. This means that parents will also make mistakes in how to treat and educate their children, and they also need to correct and adjust their methods and methods in a timely manner.
This requires parents to continue to learn and grow up with their children. Strive to achieve "specific analysis of specific problems, pay attention to the reasons behind the behavior, rational analysis and then try to intervene and intervene", in order to correctly help children when there is a problem, to help children out of the predicament; rather than panic and overwhelmed.
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This book is easy to understand, showing the story picture in the form of a dialogue between the counselor and the student, which triggers the reader to think about the cause of the problem and at the same time has to admire and learn the author's speaking skills as a psychological counselor.
The 16 stories in the book, although it is only a "barrier" problem in the growth process of adolescent children, but the "psychological disorder" is not the patent of teenagers, and many adults also have different degrees of psychological problems. This book provides us with a warm, rational, and correct way to solve problems, so that we can get out of the haze as soon as possible and go to the sunny zone.