The story I want to tell was originally a good subject for writing a novel, at least that's how I saw it. But because of the weeping temperament it has, I decided to write it into prose.
A few years ago, Zhang Yimou directed a film "Hawthorn Tree", based on the best-selling novel "Hawthorn Tree Love". I confess that I am a bit of a lonely person, and I have neither heard nor read this novel. But writing about a subject that collides with people is always an unpleasant thing. If there is a suspicion of imitation and plagiarism, it will be more troublesome. Therefore, I quickly searched for "Hawthorn Tree Love" on the Internet and took a cursory look. Fortunately, the "hawthorn tree" interpreted by Zhang Yimou is not the "hawthorn tree" described in this article. What he expresses is an ideal, a fact that I narrate, and the two are just the same name, and the content is not in line.
The Soviet song "Hawthorn Tree" is a tune that I really like to listen to. It is not only beautiful in tune and romantic in mood, but also has a slight sentimental color, which is easy to make people have endless reverie. If this song influenced many people of that era, it should not be an exaggeration. For example, the author of "Hawthorn Tree Love", such as me.
I learned this song from a Qingdao intellectual. That year, I went to the county to participate in the Zhiqing Accumulation Congress. The meeting will be held for several days, and when there is no activity arrangement in the evening, the intellectuals and young people of each commune will write and perform some literary and artistic programs to enliven the atmosphere. There is a Zhiqing in our neighboring village, Zhiqingdian surnamed Lu, who wants to say Duan Xiangsheng, but can't find a partner. When I heard about it, I volunteered. So, the two of us co-said a passage of Ma Ji's "Ode to Friendship", and he teased me. Although my behavior belongs to the act of pulling out the general in the cannon, the two of us have a tacit understanding of cooperation, but also earned a full house. When the meeting was over, the brother said to me with some nostalgia, "If only we had a guy like you on our spot." ”
Coincidentally, the knowledge of the young people on the several green dots around us is limited in cultural water, and most of them are just barely mixed up until they finish their junior high school graduation, and they are naturally not very cold about reading books and newspapers. Some villagers once joked that we are "knowledgeable youth without knowledge." In this case, I like to read a few idle books, so I was introduced by Xiao Lu as a confidant. When we have a little free time, we often skewer each other and play with each other.
Xiao Lu was two years older than me, and I went to the countryside a year earlier. He was born with clear eyebrows, tall and tall, raised his hands and feet, and exuded a strong bookish atmosphere between his words. I have been in contact with him more often, and I sincerely feel that he is a versatile and knowledgeable person. In this regard, I am ashamed of myself.
Since his father was a "bourgeois reactionary academic authority", Xiao Lu did not have a satisfactory life on their knowledge. There were many things he couldn't, or dared not say, with his friends on the spot. But man's desire to talk is hard to suppress, and in the presence of me, an alien admirer, he is completely defenseless.
At the head of the village where Xiao Lu and they knew the green point, there was a quiet and beautiful river flowing quietly into the distance. On the shore, there are stout and luxuriant black locust trees. This interesting place is where Xiao Lu and I often talk about each other. Here he spoke to me about Pushkin, Lermontov, Tolstoy, War and Peace, Anna Karenina, The Quiet Don, and sang me many beautiful songs, such as "Evening outside Moscow," "Cranberry Blossoms," "Katyusha," "Textile Girl," "The Path," and so on.
Probably influenced by his family, Xiao Lu was particularly fond of Soviet literature and music. He told me that his father had stayed in the Soviet Union to study for many years, and there were originally many Soviet literary and art books in the family, but when they were "broken and four old", they were all copied and burned, which was a pity. What I say and sing now depend on my own memory. I could hear the infinite sorrow in his words.
I met him in the winter of 1975. At this time, people's way of thinking and language environment have indisputably changed and loosened. Although I think that these stories and melodies flowing from Xiao Lu's mouth seem to be some "poisonous weeds" of "Su Xiu", he spoke and sang too attractively, and I admired and respected him so much that I lost my position of "resolute struggle" with him. I don't know what it would have been like if all this had happened during the most fanatical period of thought and action.
On a breezy summer night, we came to the small river again. The night was like water, the dew was moist, and the stars kept twinkling, like the girls' watery, wet eyes blinking. The breeze sweeps over the water, sending a rich aroma of locust flowers, and the sound of frogs and summer insects reflects the tranquility of the night. Playing a cheap guitar and singing the song "Hawthorn Tree" that made me unforgettable in a deep and rounded baritone voice, Xiao Lu sang the song "The song gently rippled on the surface of the water at dusk / The factory in the twilight has flashed / The train is running fast / The lights in the window are brilliant / The two young people under the hawthorn tree are looking forward to me." When the loud whistle had just stopped / I walked down the path to the tree / The breeze did not stop / Under the dense hawthorn tree / Blew the hair of the young fitters and the forgers. ”
He told me it was one of his favorite songs. The song has several lyrics and choruses. The first two lyrics are beautiful and romantic, and the latter has some sad and helpless colors. Perhaps infected by the mood of the song and the beautiful night, he confided in me a secret in his heart.
When I was in middle school, there was a beautiful, holy, elegant and dignified female classmate who liked each other. She was supposed to go to the countryside, but the family gave her a certificate of illness and stayed in the city to stay unemployed. Although the two sides have not yet officially broken through the thin layer of window paper, he firmly believes that the two sides have agreed to each other. For example, he had been in the countryside for almost two years, and the girl insisted on writing him a letter every week, although there was no sweet word from the Sea Oath Mountain League, but everywhere he expressed his desire to return to the city for employment and reunion.
In his account, the girl was so gentle and understanding that she was like a pure angel. He sighed that if he could go to the countryside with his beloved girl and work and sing together, what a wonderful thing it would be! Whenever he thought of the girl's sweet and bright smile, his heart was filled with infinite expectations. Because of this smile, he felt that the sunshine of each day was brighter and brighter than yesterday. The sky, the earth, the grass and trees, and the grass seedlings in this remote village have also become incomparably vivid. For example, this beautiful and beautiful song "Hawthorn Tree" feels like it was sung to the girl. Despite the difference, her heart should be able to feel the song. As I spoke, I saw a look of fascination on his face, even in the misty night.
The charming night, the beautiful singing, and the pure love make me, who is in the budding period of youth, inevitably fascinated by the meaning. Since then, every time the two of us get together, he will sing "Hawthorn Tree", but basically only the first two paragraphs. The place where we cut in was plain, there were no hawthorn trees, and I hadn't seen hawthorn trees before. But this song made me feel as if I had the scene of hawthorn blossoms.
However, the good times were short-lived. Due to the busy agricultural work of "Three Autumns", the two of us could not get together on some days. When I went to see him when I had time, I found that the talented and radiant little Lu of the past no longer existed. He looked dazed, his eyes were confused, and he had lost a lot of weight. Asking me with concern, he didn't say a word, but silently picked up the guitar and walked out the door like a sleepwalker.
When I came with him to the small river, it was already twilight. He sat by the river, still speechless, bowed his head and slowly flicked his guitar, singing "Hawthorn Tree" in a low and melancholy voice: "The autumn white crane song has disappeared into the distance / The earth has been covered with a thick white frost / But on this rugged / mountain path / The three of us are still wandering by the side of the road." Oh, beautiful hawthorn tree ah white flowers full of trees open / Oh, hawthorn tree hawthorn tree ah why do you have to be sad / oh, the bravest and cutest in the end which one / oh, hawthorn tree hawthorn tree ah please tell me. ”
I know, this is the fourth paragraph and chorus of the song. Xiao Lu sang over and over again, and the tone of his voice revealed infinite desolation and sadness. In the light of the cool moon on the autumn night, I saw two cold rays of light quietly crossing his thin face. This scene made my mood also sour and sad, and there was a faint trace of coolness on my face.
After singing for a long time, until the voice was a little hoarse, Xiao Lu stopped. After a break, he told me with great sadness that his beloved girl was about to throw herself into the arms of someone else. He said the girl had written to him, and her parents had forced her to agree to a man's marriage proposal in order to solve her daughter's employment problems. The man's parents, with some power, not only placed their sons in the railway department, which everyone admired at the time, but also assured the girl's parents that as long as they agreed to this family affair, their daughter would be allowed to work in the state-run unit. Anxious about their daughter's work problems, they could not resist such a temptation, so they had to obey.
Xiao Lu also told me that the man was a middle school classmate of the same level as himself. It was a rough with no ink on his chest, who had nothing to do all day except fights and dogs. He firmly believed that the reason why the girl in his heart agreed to this marriage must be forced by the pressure of her parents, and her heart must still belong to her. But what he couldn't stand was how a white swan-like girl could hold a stupid person like a black dog bear in his arms! Whenever he thought of this, his heart would colic up unbearably. He also believed that at such a moment, the girl's heart would also bleed.
That night, we didn't break up until the east was pale. Although I have said a lot of enlightening and exhortatory words to Xiao Lu, I am definitely an act of scratching my boots and cannot play any role.
What happened later was to listen to the narration of Xiao Lu's friends who knew the green dots. Shortly after receiving the girl's letter, Xiao Lu took a leave of absence to return to Qingdao. When he saw his beloved girl, the little bird, snuggled up to the stupid big black guy on the street, his spirit completely collapsed.
After returning to Zhiqingdian, he was listless in everything he did, and looked a little nervous. A little empty, in addition to the endless singing of "autumn white crane song disappeared into the distance" a few lyrics, is crazy to write poetry, despair makes him no longer have scruples. The content of the writing, in addition to missing his hometown and recalling love, will inevitably complain or even "attack" the policy of going to the mountains and going to the countryside. He believes that it is precisely this policy that has taken away his beloved girl.
Those who wrote and sang were discovered by the cadres of the Zhiqing leading team. His family was not well born, he was not well reformed, he always loved to sing some reactionary songs of "sealing, capital, and repair," and he also "viciously attacked the movement of young people going to the mountains and going to the countryside." How can we let go of this kind of "reactionary" behavior? As a result, Xiao Lu's fate had no choice but to enter the classroom. After that, the Zhiqing Movement song finally dispersed, everyone ran to their own things, and I never heard any news about Xiao Lu again.
Xiao Lu's tragedy, in addition to the factors of the times, I think there are also reasons for his personal character. He is a romantic, fanciful person, but also more persistent, seeing love as too beautiful and pure, so he fell into a wishful love and could not extricate himself. For this relationship, he gave a lot and expected a lot. When that bubble of beauty was shattered, it became an unbearable weight in his life.
In the human world, everyone praises and looks forward to Liang Shanbo's British-Taiwanese love. However, this also proves that such love can be encountered but not sought. I agree with Jia Pingwa's statement that "there are many love stories in the world, but there are very few love". Yes, the ideal love is wonderful, and the people in reality are helpless. Xiao Lu did not understand that the love of the vast majority of people is actually difficult to get rid of the influence of eating, drinking, sleeping, eating, living, and playing. For all sentient beings, the pursuit of Liang Zhu-style otherworldly love is tantamount to chasing the mirror flower water moon and the mirage, which is a very luxurious thing and requires a very high emotional cost.
Still, I miss Xiao Lu very much, and his beautiful and somewhat sad singing voice often rings in my ears.
After the reform and opening up, many of the former "poisonous weeds" have been lifted one after another. When I reheard the familiar melody of "Hawthorn Tree", my eyes couldn't help but feel hot and my heart was full of emotions.
Oh, long gone! Hawthorn Tree...
Tani ogi
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