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The release of the movie "My My Father" Ma Li is on the hot search again.
Ma Daiyu in the film is a strange woman, behind the happy fitness scene, in fact, ignored a detail, she is in the social workout in order to sober upstairs fitness, from her dialogue with the neighbors can know that this kind of "different sobering" is the normal life of a working mother like her.
As a working mother, do you push the cup and change the cup at the same time? Or talk about the world while holding your stomach?
In the workplace, you seem to be the tireless "strong woman", take off the disguise, before it is too late to retreat from exhaustion, you must immediately transform into the omnipotent mother of the child's heart.
Just like in the movie, Ma Daiyu hides her tiredness, always appears with a witty appearance, and passes on the optimistic spirit to the child.
The self-discipline of Ma Daiyu in the film is actually a true portrayal of Ma Li herself in life.
On March 27, 2020, Ma Li "upgraded" to become a mother, and her weight soared to 190 pounds when she was the fattest, and she once suffered from "anxiety disorder" in the face of work and external pressure.
The media also didn't seem to be very kind, and negative news about Ma Li was overwhelming.
At this time, Ma Li's heart is still very strong, she believes that everyone has a different understanding of beauty and ugliness, and it is very normal to be obese during pregnancy.
Surprisingly, Mary, who had given birth to a child, soon became like this...
She wore a thick down jacket, held two tomatoes in her hands and smiled sweetly at the camera, accompanied by small flowers and fairy wings, making her look more beautiful and cute.
Careful netizens found that Ma Li's face at this time was very small, thinner than before pregnancy.
Maybe everyone has forgotten that now Ma Li is 39 years old, the body's metabolism is significantly slowed down, coupled with pregnancy and babybirth, it is easier to accumulate fat in the body.
When fighting, she once used the "soil" method to lose weight for a film, did not eat meat and oil, suddenly lost 15 pounds in a month, frightened herself, and cried at the head of the bed when she was hungry.
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When Ma Li felt desperate, she consulted the experts and learned that the previous methods were wrong.
Not only is it easy to rebound after losing weight, but it is also very harmful to the body.
She adjusted her eating habits and increased her exercise. At first, the effect was more obvious, but after sticking to it for a while, the weight still rebounded.
She was completely devastated!
Some people say that the most obscure sentence form in the world is "If... "If only I could eat two bites less", "If only I could keep exercising"... Countless chagrins stem from a lack of self-discipline.
But self-discipline is not the same as other disciplines, and this self-discipline is not the same as other self-discipline.
Ma Li's first weight loss success belongs purely to "his law", the agent forced, the director forced, although the weight loss was successful, but the starting point of weight loss is different, so that once the control of others is missing, the weight will immediately rebound.
For those who have not made self-discipline into a habit, if they want to become self-disciplined, they cannot think of self-discipline as willingness, but as a result.
Like Mary's first weight loss, many people encounter problems not because of lack of self-control, but because of the lack of motivation deep inside.
What we really want to do is focus on "reinforcing the desire to change ourselves" and "finding the inner drive."
Of course, when we lose weight, we will encounter a lot of frustration, and few people think about their frustration, whether it comes from themselves or the other person you say?
The order of execution of weight loss is as follows:
1. I want to lose weight.
2. Because I want a good body.
3. Ultimately, I want to be a healthy, confident and attractive person.
So, they take selfies in the gym, observe their physical changes in the mirror every day, and fantasize that they can also wear clothes out of the model's effect, calculating how much they will turn back after slimming down, however, this beautiful fantasy about the goal, although very inspiring, will also bring us a huge sense of frustration.
Weight loss is difficult to achieve, not because it is difficult to meet the standard, but because it is difficult to stick to.
You're tossing and turning in the gym, dying, going up the scales to see if you should be fat or how fat you are.
At this point, your mindset changes in this order:
1. Wait until I lose weight, hehehehe (Drooling)
2. I want to try to lose weight! (Sweating)
3. Alas, still no change ... (Tears)
Therefore, the better the dream, the smaller the effort in the middle, the more difficult it will be to persist. Because the order of your thinking in the whole process is reversed or the gap is too large.
You're always thinking, how to get thin when I get thin, and then how to do it. Without thinking about what kind of person I want to become first.
Mary was successful in losing weight after giving birth, and she didn't find it difficult at all.
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Ma Li's first 2 weight losses, although also quickly lost weight, but the whole process is extremely painful, the most important thing is not sustainable.
Through reflection, she knew that there was a misunderstanding of beauty before: I was not a thin and beautiful person before, at best A "skinny fat man".
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After her studies, the adjusted order of weight loss is:
I want to be a confident, attractive person.
What would such a person do?
What will I have after doing all this?
You see, people change, behavior patterns change, and the external results you pursue will come naturally, but you don't need to pay so much attention to it. That's the right way to get there.
Charlie Munger, a famous American investor, said: "The most reliable way to get something is to make yourself worthy of him first." ”
If we want to be happy, if we want to be a general, we need to be promoted and raised, etc., and we all need to "have a position and a position", not "there is a position to be able to do".
Before changing and establishing habits, we went through 5 main stages:
1． Precontemplation: Failure to feel the presence of the problem, or refusal to acknowledge the seriousness of the problem
2． Contemplation: Awareness of the need for change
3． Preparation: Understand the relevant steps and prepare before doing things
4． Action Phase: Begins executing the plan
5． Maintenance: Adjust to the new situation and continue to execute the plan
At each stage, you say that the strategies you need to deal with are different.
The most common mistake made by ordinary people is to act directly when they are still in the second stage, that is, the "consciousness stage". However, at this time, it is precisely your most enthusiastic, but also the most fragile determination, once you encounter resistance, in an instant, your little determination can not bear the load.
In the process of changing behavior, you should pay more attention to the "success rate" of each change, rather than the amplitude.
In reality, the frustration that failure brings to us is too much of a blow to a person who wants to change.
We fail because we expect too much from ourselves. Only hope that you can lose how many pounds you can lose, and do not pay attention to the "success rate" of losing each pound after lowering your expectations.
Why is "not caring about other people's eyes" a big lie?
What do gym mirrors do? Some people say that in order to make people take selfies. Wrong, in fact, the gym mirror is just to make you see yourself through the eyes of others.
The evaluation and gaze of others can play a very important role in suggesting. It can make you better and better unconsciously, a phenomenon known as the "Rosenthal effect," or "key to others."
For self-discipline, we should find "key others" who build self-confidence and manage ourselves strictly.
Although Mary is a public figure, her agent and fitness instructor are his "key others".
In fact, Ma Li used to be very inferior, felt that she was not beautiful, and was very worried about her image.
However, learning has made her change, understanding that it is not dieting that makes her beautiful, but deeply asking herself: Why don't you dare to be a good person?
Later, she found that she had been setting limits for herself, thinking that she was not good enough, not beautiful enough, and invisibly created a lot of obstacles for herself and found many reasons for herself to withdraw.
She understood that the source of a person's change is the principle of "self-drive", which is to change behavior first, such as losing weight, treating yourself as a thin person, living in the thin person's life trajectory, doing the self-discipline things that thin people do every day, and then having stable physical changes later.
Otherwise, the body will always be the "skinny fat man", and sooner or later it will be beaten back to its original form.