Van Gogh's Self-Portrait
1
childhood
Most people in the world know Van Gogh, know his sunflowers and starry moon nights, but few people know About Theo, Van Gogh's younger brother. Born Van Gogh, he dedicated his life to art, and he gave birth to Theo, who dedicated his life to his brother Van Gogh.
They are born to be closely linked.
On January 5, 1857, four years after Van Gogh's birth, van Gogh's biggest and staunchest supporter and admirer of his life, his younger brother, was born, and they shared a common name: Van Gogh. The older brother was named Vincent van Gogh and the younger brother was Called Theo van Gogh.
Their childhood in their hometown of Brabant, the Netherlands, was the sweetest and happiest time of their lives.
As a child, they played hide-and-seek in Leswick's mill, a lovely old mill where Sometimes Van Gogh would deliberately hide, and When Theo couldn't find his brother, he would cry—he thought he would never be seen again.
In midsummer, when they were playing among the tall wheat, Van Gogh took Theo's hand through the golden wheat waves, and his brother's hand was so big that it felt like he had the whole world in his hand.
They often walk along the path by the stream, planning how to spend their lives.
"I want to be a pastor." Van Gogh said to his brother, "Priests like Dad, serve God." ”
"I'll get out of here one day." Van Gogh looked into the distance, almost speaking to himself.
Then he turned his head and asked, "What about you, brother, what kind of person do you want to be?" ”
How did the young Theo answer? Since he was a child, he has been with his brother, his brother holds his hand, his brother helps him up when he falls, his brother helps him teach his little friend who bullied him, all the time, they are inseparable, never thought about what it would be like to leave his brother one day. At that time, he thought that they would always be together and grow up and nothing would change.
Sunflower
2
church
Unexpectedly, the imaginary distant "Hurry up" would arrive so unexpectedly.
In 1878, after studying at the missionary training school in Brussels for 3 months, the 25-year-old Van Gogh went to the Borináj mining area in Belgium to begin a missionary activity without a permit, fulfilling his wish to become a priest.
It was a hellish place on earth, with gas explosions often occurring in the mining area, van Gogh witnessed the workers living inhuman lives, and his heart burned with both sympathy and anger.
In order to help the miners and fight for their interests, Van Gogh ate and lived with the miners, gave them all his food and belongings, and lived a Puritan life.
However, the church considered him "too fanatical" and "ugly" to destroy the image of the pastor. The following year, the Brussels Missionary Headquarters dismissed Van Gogh from his missionary duties.
The religious cause he wanted to dedicate himself to gave him the loudest slap in his life. His dreams, his faith, the walls he had built for himself in his heart, shattered into powder like a thud in his ears.
Van Gogh resolutely turned to art. He painted the dark miners of Borinari, copied the work of the painter Miller, and he kept painting, and there was a hole in his heart, perhaps many holes, that could no longer be filled.
The painting was like a light that illuminated his whole panicked life.
At this time, Theo was already a small and famous dealer in Paris, responsible for selling paintings, and he showed extraordinary vision and ability, winning the respect of his peers and families. Van Gogh also worked in a painting shop for 7 years before devoting himself to religious careers, and everyone thought that Brother Theo did a good job.
During this time, Van Gogh and Theo began a lifelong exchange of letters.
At the beginning of each letter, Van Gogh called out in an urgent and gentle voice, "Dear Theo", he was not so sociable, but he was so eager to be in contact with people. Just as life gave him hope and disappointed him, but he still longed for life.
In one of the letters, Van Gogh wrote:
"Dear Theo, send me some money."
Starry Night
3
agreement
Receiving a letter from his brother, Theo immediately rushed to Van Gogh's dilapidated house in Borinari. It was a dwelling far different from his lavish home in Paris, where there was only a dirty, bare mattress, a crooked table and a chair, and his dear brother was lying on the bed, covered with an old blanket, and disease and hunger had robbed him of his health, and he looked like a fallen leaf that had been trampled in autumn.
Finally, in that dilapidated little house, they reached an agreement that Theo would be responsible for Van Gogh's living expenses, daily expenses, etc., and send him monthly money to support his creative career. Van Gogh gave his latest paintings to Theo, who preserved, sorted them out, and sold them.
"Growing up, you have always protected me, and I am very happy that I was finally able to help you." Theo said in his heart.
For the next ten years, in addition to sending Van Gogh a monthly living allowance of 150 francs, Theo also had to supply painting tools, paints and publications from time to time, and van Gogh's sources of confidence were mostly encouraged by him.
However, Theo only sold one painting of his brother, the only painting in Van Gogh's life, the oil painting called "The Red Vineyard", which depicts a peasant woman picking grapes in a vineyard under the sun, while the usual dark brown vine, under Van Gogh's pen, turns red. The unknown buyer, did she understand the meaning behind the painting?
Colleagues at the shop expressed their confusion about Theo's behavior, believing that Van Gogh was crazy, and Theo was also crazy. One day, they talked about Van Gogh's crazy behavior, and the tone was not without sarcasm, some people said that Van Gogh was just a decadent weak, he did not have the ability to adapt to the real society, and could only adopt an extreme evasive attitude. Some even persuaded Theo to terminate the agreement "with good intentions."
Theo was so angry that he blushed and said aloud:
"No... You don't understand... He was just lonely... He's so lonely..."
When he was most excited, he even shed tears. He stuttered, as if trying to put the whole world in order. He only hated that he could not take the place of his brother to endure the boundless loneliness.
Self-Portrait After Cutting An Ear
4
Cut the ears
In February 1888, Van Gogh came to the small french town of Arles, an ancient town in Provence, located at the top of the Delta of the Long River, near the Shores of the Mediterranean Sea, not far from the hometown of Marseille and Cézanne, Aix-en-Sékes. There are large areas of golden sunflowers and wheat fields, reflecting the blue sky. "I seem to have seen this place somewhere."
On the Latin Horse Square, Van Gogh rented a house and painted the exterior of the house yellow — the most beloved color of his life, the famous "yellow house".
"I want to turn my 'yellow house' into a 'painter's house.'" In a letter to Theo, Vincent wrote. He set up the Southern Studio and invited his painter friend Gauguin to come and live with him, giving him the best room and himself in another small house.
It was this move that brought devastating disaster to Van Gogh.
Gauguin's personality is outgoing, conceited and arbitrary, and he often ridicules Van Gogh's artistic views. Van Gogh, on the other hand, was introverted and clumsy with words, but was unwavering in his beliefs in himself. The two quarreled from time to time, and the days of living together in the "Yellow House" were not as good as expected.
Meanwhile, Van Gogh falls in love with a prostitute, Christina. He invited her to be his model and become his lover. Because of this prostitute, Van Gogh and Gauguin also had a lot of quarrels. There was even the famous "ear cutting incident".
Now no one can know, what did Van Gogh cut off his ears, because of a joke from the prostitutes. Or anger at your own powerlessness? Or perhaps, during an argument with Gauguin, Gauguin accidentally swung his sword and cut off his ear, and in order to preserve Gauguin's reputation, Van Gogh claimed to have cut it himself.
Now we can only imagine the scene from the famous "Self-Portrait After Cutting The Ear", he cut off one of his own ears, the blood flowed down the root of the ear, he walked down the street holding the severed ear, and people screamed and scattered.
In extreme anger, people will not feel pain, or he feels that he has never felt so free.
It was the most colorful year of Van Gogh's life, so many people came and went, footsteps approached and moved away, and everyone was a passerby.
Finally, Theo came. Like many times when he got into trouble and Theo traveled thousands of miles to take care of the aftermath, this time, he still dealt with everything calmly. Persuaded by Theo, Van Gogh and Christina broke up.
Forcibly taking away a person's beloved thing is cruel. Did Theo ever feel heartache when he did this? If he could do it all over again, would he do it again?
"Apricot Blossom"
5
lunatic
This is a weak man, a man who deliberately curry favor with others in order not to be abandoned; a strong man, a man who strives to build a castle on the sand; a man who treats himself as an imaginary enemy and punishes himself for the mistakes of others; a man who really does not know how to deal with it, and who is covered with scars.
Van Gogh is believed to have suffered from mental illness.
On 8 May 1889, Van Gogh voluntarily went to the Sanatorium Saint-Rémy, 25 km from Arles, and then went to Orville for psychiatric treatment. It was during this period that Van Gogh's creation reached its peak. This period is known as the Saint-Rémy Period.
During his entire year in the mental hospital, Van Gogh rarely fell ill and seemed to show signs of improvement, but when he picked up the paintbrush again, the psychosis began to attack again. If you give up painting and return to ordinary life, it is not impossible to be an ordinary person.
But Van Gogh could not. In his waking days, he still tried to paint. He painted the interior of the hospital, painted the outside scenery dominated by cypress trees, still went out to paint at night, he painted the starry sky, and in the starry sky he painted, all the stars rotated into a vortex of light, and the long stream of the Milky Way rolled and swallowed in it, which is the "Starry Moon Night" that we see today.
In a letter to Theo, Van Gogh wrote:
"When I draw a sun, I want people to feel like it's spinning at an alarming speed, emitting terrifying waves of light and heat.
When I paint a wheat field, I want people to feel that atoms are working toward their final ripening and blooming.
When I paint a man, I want to paint his gushing life.
If there were no more infinite, profound, real things in life, I would no longer be attached to the human world. ”
Is he really crazy? A hundred years later, when his works were auctioned off in astronomical numbers at auction, his stories were made into movies, his letters were translated into the languages of various countries, and when people all over the world looked at those beautiful paintings, they all called him a genius in their hearts.
The White Rose
6
child
In the same year that Van Gogh was admitted to a mental hospital, Theo got married. Early the following year, Theo's child was born, and the child followed his uncle and named him Vincent.
Afterwards, Van Gogh took a train to Paris to visit the Theoes and his young nephew.
The newborn child is actually not good-looking, the skin is wrinkled, the facial features are tightly packed together, and it is almost all day long. But in Van Gogh's eyes, his little nephew with curly brown hair was the most beautiful baby in the world.
When he was four years old, his mother bore him a little brother, just like the little baby in front of him, and when he stared at him with innocent eyes and held out his small hand, he suddenly felt that he had an obligation to protect this young child. It was from that day that he felt as if he had grown armor.
He did it until he left home at the age of 20 to work in a painting shop. When did this relationship start and turn it upside down? He went from being a protector to being protected.
Now, that young child actually had his own child, he had his own weakness. And this young new life in front of him, he deserves more protection and love. Van Gogh's heart rippled slightly.
Theo immediately sensed his brother's uneasiness, and he had always known that in his mind, his brother had always been more important than his mother or father. From childhood to adulthood, they are like shadows, sometimes Van Gogh is the shadow of Theo, sometimes Theo is the shadow of Van Gogh. As long as they were together, he could see the world more clearly; and when he was left alone, somehow the world always made him feel confused. Nothing could change that, even if one day he got married and had children of his own.
He knew, in fact, that his brother had always been a child who had not grown up.
Iris
07
farewell
Van Gogh returned to Orville, and he was alone again. The world far away from his brother was a cold world, and he began to remember his life, from the moment he accepted his brother's financial support, from beginning to end, the younger brother stood firmly behind him.
"If all I bring you is disaster, will you still hold my hand?"
Ten years on, he was terrified of mental problems and confused about his future, his life was turbulent, and he had no intention of becoming a burden on anyone, but in fact he had seriously dragged down his brother.
Even if you want to, I can't drag you endlessly into the abyss. I can't change anything, I can't change anything. Perhaps, it's time to put an end to it all.
On July 27, 1890, Van Gogh walked deep into the wheat field, he raised his head, leaned back against the sun, pressed a revolver to his abdomen, and pulled the trigger.
The sound of gunfire was particularly harsh above the empty wheat field, and he saw a flock of crows scattered in all directions, hovering over his head, and the golden wheat waves in the field that rose with the wind, large chunks of golden yellow, pressed down on him so heavily.
He did not die immediately.
Theo rushed to the news and took his brother in his arms as Van Gogh had once held his own child. His tears were gushing like spring water, and he blamed himself for coming too late, and he heard himself say in an intermittent voice, "I must save you, you don't die." ”
Three days later, Van Gogh closed his eyes in the arms of his brother Theo, ending his 37-year short life.
Before dying, Van Gogh murmured, "I wish I could go home now." ”
It was as if everything was back to when they were young, and they were still the two little children running hand in hand in the wheat field.
"Brother, hurry up, let's go catch up with the sun."
"Brother, you see that the sun is about to set."
"Brother, I love you, I love you."
Wheat Fields and Cypress trees
08
brothers
The story isn't over yet.
After Van Gogh's death, Theo was overwhelmed with grief and everything was ruined. But he can't die, he still has unfinished business in this world. He went to ask a biographer to write a biography of his brother and traveled around for Van Gogh's retrospectives.
But things changed a little subtly. He began to become mentally deranged, like the symptoms his brother Van Gogh had.
Finally, he had an argument with the owner of the painting shop and resigned angrily.
After that, his spirits got worse and worse. On January 25, 1891, less than half a year after his brother's death, Theo followed suit, at the age of 33.
Theo's wife, who was also a loyal follower of Van Gogh, read the sentence in the Bible 23 years later, "Neither is separated when he dies," so she transported Theo's body to Orville and buried it with his brother.
In the Chinese classical masterpiece "Dream of the Red Chamber", there is a kind of flower, "one arrow and one flower are orchids, and one arrow counts flowers as a yfern." There are two branches of the fern, and the one who bears flowers on the head is the husband and wife, and the one who blossoms up and down is the brother. ”
One wins, one loses. If the grass and trees are like this, how can people be embarrassed.
Van Gogh painted so many paintings and self-portraits in his lifetime, but he never painted a portrait of his brother Theo. Maybe people can reflect on themselves soberly, but they can't look directly into those eyes that are full of enthusiasm for themselves.
O lonely people, they have a thousand holes in their hearts. You'll never know why he was smiling and smiling, but suddenly he lowered his eyes. All they need is an ear of concern.
Will there be another self in this world? My loneliness and glory, my failures and greatness, my cowardice and strength, can all be entrusted to him, and he will live for himself as he imagines in another time and space.
That is Van Gogh and Theo.
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