I am Fenghua, and if you have a story, come to me.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="3" >1. Parents should not interfere excessively in their children's lives</h1>
Actress Yan Ni was once asked by a reporter during a talk show whether she would interfere with her daughter's work.
At that time, Yan Ni told the other party very calmly that her daughter did not need to choose a career in order to win glory for her parents, so she did not have to interfere with these.
Yan Ni hopes that when her daughter chooses a job, she will do that job because she loves that job, not to win glory for her mother.
With such an enlightened mother, Yan Ni's daughter is lucky.
After that, the reporter asked Yan Ni if she had any ideas about her daughter's emotional life.
At that time, Yan Ni smiled, and she told reporters: Every girl has the age of the first opening of the love sinus, and at what age she should do what she should do.
For Yan Ni, her daughter is very rational. She hopes that when her daughter meets someone who can make her daughter ask Dou Chukai, she can follow her heart to make choices, rather than worrying about all external factors and not being able to bravely face love.
I listened to Yan Ni's words, and I could not help but envy Yan Ni's daughter, on the road to growth, it is absolutely happy to meet a mother who does not interfere with her too much.
As a parent, as long as you give your child the material and spiritual conditions within his or her ability, as for the thorns on the road to growth, it is left to the child to deal with, so that life is the most enjoyable.
In our lives, there are many parents who like to interfere in the lives of their children, and they always use the excuse of being good for their children and do a lot of things that make children embarrassed and even embarrassed.
Fan Xiaocui has such a mother's family, she said in a private message, the last time she quarreled with her husband, because of the kindness of her family, she ended a five-year marriage.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="3" >2</h1>
Xiao Cui and Huang Jian have been married for five years, the two people already have children before marriage, in order to rush to do the wedding before the birth of the child, Xiao Cui's parents are not too embarrassed about the Huang Jian family, only ask the two to get married the same as when Huang Jian's eldest brother married.
Huang Jian's parents were naturally fond of their own son, and without saying a word, they gave a dowry of 300,000 yuan, which was twice as much as her mother's parents.
Seeing that the family attached so much importance to their daughter, Xiao Cui's parents married their daughter without saying a word.
However, after the two families happily finished the wedding, Xiao Cui's parents were not happy because of the matter of taking the child.
Huang Jian's eldest brother is adopted, and his children's parents are unwilling to take them and no one will say anything. However, Xiao Cuisheng's child is their own granddaughter, without saying anything about the past.
However, after Xiao Cui gave birth to a daughter, Huang Jian's parents proposed that they could not bring children for their younger son, on the grounds that the eldest son's child, they did not bring it at that time, and now if they give the child with the younger son, it will become really eccentric in the eyes of outsiders.
Xiao Cui's parents were immediately unhappy when they heard that her in-laws could not help with the children for the sake of face and needed their daughters to resign and take the children at home.
However, the two families discussed many times without results, Xiao Cui's parents could only compromise, by the mother's mother to take the child, the mother-in-law posted some money.
Originally, this arrangement was quite good, but last year, Xiao Cui was pregnant with a second child.
Xiao Cui thought about whether the second child could discuss with her mother-in-law and let her mother-in-law help her with the child, but who thought of a phone call back, only to find that Huang Jian's sister-in-law was also pregnant.
Huang Jian means that the children or they bring their own, do not bother the old man, just because Xiao Cui quarreled with him, made a small temper.
As soon as the Xiao cui family heard the reason for their quarrel, they immediately exploded the pot, discussed it privately for a long time, and then came up with a bad idea.
In the name of being good for Xiao Cui, the parents took many people to the in-laws' house together, and directly found Huang Jian's parents and sister-in-law.
Xiao Cui's mother's family asked Huang Jian's sister-in-law to beat up the child, let Mr. Xiao Cui have a second child, and when the mother-in-law brought Xiao Cui's second child up, the sister-in-law could consider the second child, if the sister-in-law did not agree to this, Xiao Cui would beat up her own child and let Huang Jian die.
As soon as they heard that Xiao Cui was going to kill their own grandson, Huang Jian's parents immediately panicked, standing on the same front as Xiao Cui's parents, forcing Huang Jian's sister-in-law to beat the fetus.
When Huang Jian received the news and went home, his eldest brother and sister-in-law had directly approached the elders in the family and asked for a separate household registration and no longer recognized his parents.
Seeing that the original good home was stirred up by Xiao Cui's mother's family in the name of being good for them, Huang Jianqi did not fight and directly filed for divorce.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="3" >3</h1>
Between husband and wife or concubine, a little contradiction and small friction is actually a very normal thing, our own teeth will bite the tongue, not to mention people get along with each other.
Originally, Xiao Cui was pregnant, hoping that the mother-in-law would help with the child, but she was wrong in arguing with her husband because of this, and if there was a small contradiction, she went to the mother's house to file a complaint, and even in order to achieve her own purpose, she joined the mother's family to go to the in-laws' house to force the sister-in-law to beat the fetus.
It is everyone's right to have children, and no one can force another person to make way for her children for any reason.
In fact, if this matter is not excessively interfered with by Xiao Cui's family, Huang Jian will not divorce Xiao Cui because of this. After all, the two people already have a daughter, and they will soon have another child, and a family of four can live a perfect life. However, knowing that his wife and her mother's family actually had such a vicious mind, Huang Jian did not dare to ask such a woman to be the mother of his children.
The ancients said that husband and wife quarrel, bedside quarrel and bedside, as long as outsiders do not participate at will, the contradiction between the two will basically not be overnight.
As parents, we should not interfere excessively when our children are at odds with each other. Really for the good of the children, or with a good heart should be: give the decision to the child, wake up when they take a detour, make a guide, rather than directly interfere, and lead the younger generation to make the wrong choice.
A famous author once said that parents are the guides of their children, but they should not be their children's crutches or roadblocks.
Parents love their children deeply and love deeply, but some people walk on this road and forget that they have taken the wrong road and made the wrong choice.
I hope that parents all over the world can understand that children never need excessive 'kindness' from their parents, they need the timely letting go of their parents and families.
Text/Fenghua
Can you accept that your parents let you do something against your heart in the name of being good for you?