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The ancients cloud "thirty and standing, forty and not confused, fifty and know the destiny of heaven", 50 is an age for most people to truly understand life, but also a person began to slowly accept the twilight of the age.
Most of the 50-year-old people are in the middle and late stages of life, compared with the thirty-something and forty-year-old people, they have a little more vicissitudes and open-mindedness, compared to the 60s and 70-year-olds, they have less experience and new understanding.
It is undeniable that each stage of life has its own tasks, and a person's transparency and open-mindedness do not come from looking at the entire stage of life, but from the sobriety and understanding of this stage.
So, how should people over 50 spend their lives? What kind of way of living can really fit the needs of this age group?
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" >, Erickson's Eight-Stage Developmental Theory: Psychological Characteristics of 50-Year-Old Individuals</h1>
Psychologist Eriksson divides a person's life into eight stages based on their age, each with certain tasks and risks to deal with, while a 50-year-old is in the mid-adulthood:
The main task and conflict of the individual at this stage is self-concentration and the acquisition of a sense of reproduction, which in Erikson's eyes is based on the acquisition of a sense of reproduction.
So what is the sense of reproduction? Generally speaking, reproduction includes production capacity and creative ability, and the sense of reproduction can be understood here as the realization of the need to start a family, on the one hand, the successful experience of having children, on the other hand, it focuses on the field of self-realization, so the meaning of reproduction can be understood as the unity of life and work.
Similarly, Erikson argues that when a person's reproductive sense of acquisition fails, he can easily fall into a conflict of self-focus, a series of negative emotions that arise from the confusion of his role and the inability to balance life and work.
And a person's life at the age of fifty has gone through 50% of the journey, the scenery of the first half of life has been appreciated, and it has a certain impact on the second half of life.
Most of the fifty-year-old people, some old, some young, maybe four generations of the same church or three generations of the same church, then a series of interpersonal problems that follow, the worry about children, the worry about the old parents, has become the hardship of countless middle-aged and elderly people.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > second, what is the best way to live? </h1>
In the eyes of the individual psychologist Adler, he believes that most of the root causes of a person's suffering are interpersonal relationships, and there is no doubt that we live in a world full of people and are bound to be influenced by others.
1. Interpersonal relationships
Relationships may seem to have little effect on people, but they can have an impact on your subconscious mind in the dark, and the existence of relational field effects is an important evidence of interpersonal relationships.
The so-called relationship field effect means that the people around you in the relationship context will unconsciously affect your behavior, such as praising you and judging you, everyone will be affected by others, and there are almost no people who do not like things and do not grieve with themselves.
In the same way, most people in their fifties have three or more close relatives, their own children, their parents, their partners, and everyone's feedback to themselves will invisibly affect your emotions.
In fact, if you think about it carefully, you will find that most of the middle-aged and elderly people who have a bad life have unstable interpersonal relationships, or they are always arguing with their relatives, and the impact of interpersonal conflict on people is far-reaching.
Being able to deal with the interpersonal relationships around you has solved most of the problems and will live more freely, so based on this level, the best way to live is nothing more than the four words of "subject separation" in Adler's mouth.
2. Separation of topics
Adler, who was late in proposing that relationships are all problems, also gave people a way to solve problems, that is, "topic separation."
Topic separation is a concept based on the theory of object relations, which means that when people deal with interpersonal problems, they should live in harmony in a "stay out of the matter" way.
The so-called staying out of the matter does not mean being indifferent and cold-blooded, but refers to drawing a clear line, recognizing their own abilities, and recognizing their role in the relationship.
In most Chinese-style families, it is difficult for parents to separate the subjects, and over-parenting giant babies are not uncommon in China, and this is also rooted in the excessive concern of parents about their children, which makes them lose their boundaries, constantly help their children, live a hard life, discipline children to eat and sleep when they are young, and when they become adults, they still have the desire to interfere or help their children.
Therefore, the interpersonal conflict between parents and children is also difficult to avoid, and for their parents, some children will also interfere more, relying on their own understanding of the new era, relying on their own concepts that are more in line with the times to beg parents to live according to their favorite lifestyle.
For the 50-year-old middle-aged and elderly, it is inevitable to intersect with their relatives, whether it is children or parents, or brothers and sisters, there will be a certain degree of worry about them, which is the common sentiment of people.
However, if you are too worried and overworked with others, it is a kind of nagging for them. And this kind of cross-border worry won't make a positive turn in your life, and it can even leave you powerless.
50-year-old people, is bound to have a sober attitude to life, whether it is to relatives, or to friends, should not lose their own lives, the core of the separation of the subject is the sense of boundary, the maintenance of any relationship needs a sense of boundary, whether for you, or for each other, give a certain sense of boundary to allow two people to find the balance of the relationship.
The benefits of quality interpersonal relationships are obvious, and this positive social support will not make people face life with a positive attitude, but also make people radiate confidence and light from the inside out.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
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Reference: Jean Piaget Biographie. (2020, January 29).