Zhou Yunpeng Wang Long's sketch "I want to buy a house" line script | a happy comedian

Agent: Sir, you chose our community, is it too right, you are too discerning, people, people, sir?

Zhou Yunpeng: What are you doing, can you go slowly, you long legs I can keep up with you.

Agent: Sir.

Zhou Yunpeng: I can't catch up with the race walking.

Agent: I'm going fast, let's go and see the house you want to buy.

Zhou Yunpeng: Be well.

Intermediary: Come and go. This you have too much eyesight, our room is particularly good, come, sir, you advanced.

Zhou Yunpeng: Okay.

Intermediary: Sir, I'm with you (Zhou Yunpeng closes the door).

Zhou Yunpeng: Great, this house, not bad.

(Doorbell ringing)

Zhou Yunpeng: Who?

Intermediary: Sir (Zhou Yunpeng closed the door).

Zhou Yunpeng: This house is really good.

Zhou Yunpeng: Who are you looking for?

Agent: Sir, you forgot about me in this moment, I am an agent.

Zhou Yunpeng: I don't sell houses.

Agent: Big Brother.

Zhou Yunpeng: I don't sell.

Agent: You haven't bought it yet, this house is not yours now.

Zhou Yunpeng: I'm sorry, I haven't bought it yet, no.

Intermediary: That's not true.

Zhou Yunpeng: You are an intermediary, come in, I'm sorry, then I withdrew.

Agent: Big brother, do you really want to buy this house?

Zhou Yunpeng: Yes, I bought a house.

Intermediary: Right.

Zhou Yunpeng: I have this memory.

Agent: Sir, let me introduce you to our house...

Zhou Yunpeng: No, no, this house has a building area of 84.5 square meters, a public pool of 20%, a usable area of 64.7 square meters, plenty of sunshine, sitting north and facing south, two bedrooms and a living room, a kitchen and a bathroom, downstairs on the left is the subway, the right is the bus, right?

Agent: How do you know better than I do?

Zhou Yunpeng: Isn't this all written here? With your introduction?

Agent: Sir, since you know so well, in terms of price.

Zhou Yunpeng: The price does not need to be mentioned to me, I am not short of money, I go out two meters to take a taxi.

Agent: Since it is not bad money, 750,000 full payment, it is appropriate, I will go to get the contract for you.

Zhou Yunpeng: Wait.

Intermediary: What's wrong?

Zhou Yunpeng: Can it still be cheaper, can it still be cheaper?

Agent: No, big brother, it's not cheap, I said it doesn't count, wait for the owner to come, you talk to him, I'll go get the contract for you.

Zhou Yunpeng: When to come?

Agent: Coming soon, arriving right away.

Zhou Yunpeng: All right. Also have to talk to the owner.

(Unfinished)

If you need the full text, please pay attention to the public number: Film and Television Line Network