Recently, the controversial topic of the Chicken Baby (suspected group combat) has been boiling in parent circles.
The four words of selling anxiety are the key words in the whirlpool.
Therefore, Erbao Dad also wants to write about the topic of "anti-anxiety" and give everyone a spiritual SPA.
Shame, too detailed words can not be written out of english dry goods, just say something general, I hope there is also a decompression effect.
From the beginning is to read an article a few days ago "In the Peking University Courtyard, become an ordinary person." In the text, the word "boundary" touched me.
I recommend you to read it, you must have a lot of feelings.
And I, reading it, was tearful.
This article belongs to the students of Peking University, and I suddenly see my own shadow in this group of protagonists, how similar. (Of course, I'm not a level with them, but empathy and empathy are connected)
The article is too long to post in its entirety. I've taken some of the most touching chapters and pasted them to you. Read through the whole article and your anxiety will magically dissipate and evaporate.
My own revolution on the Chicken Baby Road has not yet succeeded, let alone a hundred miles and a half ninety, the sisters and brothers' path of study, but it is only a beginning - I am not qualified to verify the success of my educational philosophy, let alone advertise.
So, more of what I thought, inspired by the long path of my past life, from high school to college. The group that thinks it is relatively successful also has some experiences, and I want to share, discuss, and seek each other with you.
The four words "ability boundary" sound like a shackle that binds your feet and imprisons you to move forward; but from another point of view, it is more like the calm release of "seeing yourself, seeing heaven and earth, and seeing sentient beings", as well as a more accurate positioning of self-knowledge.
My profound understanding of this word with skin pain should be the first half of my freshman year after entering Shanghai Jiao Tong University, which subverted all my past.
In high school, I always confidently and proudly thought that I was a little talented in mathematical physics.
Moreover, the computer pilot class I was admitted to Jiaotong University, the class name is "F994", which is also shorter than the long series of class numbers of the computer ordinary class, which is considered to be standing at the top of the "chain of contempt", walking on campus with your head held high, the wind under your feet, and you are full of spirit.
Not long after the school started, he was hit hard, and he was hammered to the ground and almost did not get up.
The so-called pilot class, all disciplines are studied in accordance with the highest professional requirements of each department of Jiaotong University, such as mathematics is synchronized with the mathematics department, university physics is synchronized with the physics department, and even communication engineering and automation are also involved.
This means that I have not even been exposed to advanced mathematics, and directly "jumped" to learn more vicious mathematical analysis.
The nightmare began.
I still remember that my counting teacher, Teacher Zhang Yangwen of Jiaotong University, whose "thin as a cicada's wing" number textbook seems to me to be the Book of Heaven — the reason why it is so thin is because teacher Zhang directly draws conclusions in the process of proof within 7 or 8 steps. The mantra is "Obviously..."
With my IQ, "obviously" became "I don't know why."
Later, I went to the bookstore and bought a thick stack of "Jimidovic", which is the hall of mathematical analysis.
In the book, all the formulas were deduced and divided into steps that could not be more detailed, and I finally felt that my IQ was still quite effective, and I found a little self-esteem.
Regardless of the version of "Dumidovich", it is usually several thick copies. In my opinion, this set of books finally says "human words" that I can understand, which is much friendlier than a textbook of "Mathematical Analysis" that is abstracted to the point of insufficient INTELLIGENCE. In fact, it is that their qualifications are limited, they need to learn slowly, and the progress is too fast to keep up.
But in Teacher Zhang's counting class, in the face of such high-intensity and high-paced teaching, I raised the white flag early and surrendered, and gray slipped to the last row to secretly read the "Sports Weekly".
It wasn't a matter of inability to do so, it was that he was already paralyzed in his chair and completely powerless.
Since then, my former lofty spirit has disappeared, and I know how small I am. It turned out that the mathematics of high school was only popular science at best; the university only began to really knife and real gun, ridiculous me, before I even touched the threshold of the mathematical hall.
Basically, every time I scored an exam, I passed like walking on ice, and the results were very ugly. In the usual classroom test, I also experienced the first time in my life that I hung up in mathematics.
Thanks to the mercy of Mr. Zhang's men, after a year of suffering, he finally successfully passed the final exam of mathematical analysis.
After spending my freshman year, I called my dad and cried that I wanted to change careers and choose a relaxed major, this computer pilot class is really TMD is not a day for people to live.
As you can guess, my tiger father, who came from a university computer teacher, scolded me with a bloody head, said that my will quality was poor, and also broke my thoughts.
At that time, my mood was really the same as that of those confused Peking University students in the article "In peking university, becoming an ordinary person", because they touched their own boundaries, they felt incompetent and depressed.
If you don't agree with my transfer, then ride a donkey to find a horse.
At the beginning of my sophomore year, I sneaked to other colleges to observe, from the management institute to the journalism school. Slowly, I found myself very interested in the media, plus I liked code words, and I wrote a diary almost every day. My heart began to want to transfer to the journalism department of our university... However, I was strangled by my father again.
But the stirring heart that had been stirred up had quietly and irrepressibly burned from the spark of the stars.
I hid my inner careful thoughts, began to play chicken blood like my own professional class, tried to study late, and acted like a well-behaved baby who was at ease learning computers in front of my father.
In my sophomore year, after getting away from the torture of mathematical analysis, I mixed well, and I also got the devil's three-piece set of "complex variable functions, integral transformations, and mathematical equations" and won a scholarship.
I thought my father would see me perform so well and would let me change my major. Unfortunately, it failed again.
I can only start my junior year of college in gray, and it is also the most terrifying year of intensity.
All the computer science courses are pouring into you, interspersed with college physics with the same requirements as the physics department, and the frightening number of recent generations - during this period, it also includes countless deaths and injuries every year.
In a wailing piece, many of the masters around me are hanging up. I was not immune to a small role that was not ranked in the class.
Throughout my junior year, I was tired of putting out the fire everywhere, and I had a hard time snuffing out several professional courses and recent generations, and finally, the college physics backyard caught fire, and I failed the midterm exam, more than 40 points, which was also the first time in my life that I failed physics.
I calculated that according to the weight of the midterm exam, my college physics final exam must be above 95 points to ensure that the whole semester is not hung up.
Before the final exams, I didn't go home for three weeks, and in my steamer-like bedroom, which had no air conditioning and a fan, I wiped myself with cold water while reviewing physics and making a desperate attempt.
Thankfully I did it, and in the end I was relegated with a physics score of 61.
But after going through the purgatory-like junior year, I knew my gap thoroughly, that is, my "boundary"—I could unmistakably touch this boundary in front of me, incomparably clear, within reach, and the real master like a barrier, insurmountable.
In particular, the "recent generation" of the risk-related customs clearance. If the mathematical analysis of my freshman year has touched my IQ ceiling and barely passed, the recent generation is like a discipline in outer space, and I am not even qualified to look up at the stars.
The memories of not having enough IQ in several lifetimes make me not even have the courage to explain baidu to the four words "recent generations". Just search for yourself, don't ask me.
I also knew that although my junior year was like walking on thin ice, I couldn't do such an ascetic life every day, and I would jump off the building in less than a month.
What is even more frightening is that I cultivate like an ascetic in purgatory on earth, and I can easily achieve the same effect when someone talks and laughs.
I remembered seeing Keigo Higashino write an article "The Sorrow of a Cottage Science Student" written by Keigo Higashino, and every word in it seemed to be talking about me.
The road to science is tough. There's a lot to learn, and it's all obscure. If you obviously do not have the corresponding ability but take it for granted that you are suitable for science and easily embark on this road, you are doomed to carry unimaginable hardships and toils.
I'm just going to be an example.
Until the end of high school, I had great confidence in math, physics, and chemistry. I pretentiously believe that there is no problem that I cannot solve on my own.
Then, I went to Osaka F University, majoring in electrical engineering. At that time, my delusion continued. I also firmly believe that I am the right person for science.
The university's courses began one after another. In the first academic year, most of the public courses are good, but the problem is that by the second academic year, the number of professional subjects has gradually increased. I started to frown bitterly from this period. In the third year, when I started to worry about whether my credits would go well enough, I had to come to the following conclusions:
No, I wasn't suitable for science at all, and my original choice was too unsuccessful.
For example, there's something called electromagnetism. The British physicist Maxwell was the epitome of this discipline. The Maxwell equations established by this uncle can be described as the basis of electromagnetism, and I tried to look up the "Broad Dictionary", which reads: "The system of equations that define the laws of motion of the electromagnetic field is expressed by four partial differential equations for the intensity of the electric field and the strength of the magnetic field." As long as the charge density, current density, and boundary conditions are given, the electromagnetic field can be determined by this system of equations. ”
People in the liberal arts probably don't know what they're talking about. In fact, my understanding of these words is almost the same as that of a liberal arts student. In short, it is confused. And it's not that I could understand it before and forget it now. I've been in this state since I was a student.
There are so many subjects in the professional class that are very difficult to understand (for me, of course), and the professors seem to be pulling the family routine when they are in class, but I have not listened to the content. Everyone speaks Japanese, so they understand the words, but they don't chew and digest them in their heads at all.
In desperation, I came to the conclusion that I should not study science.
The difference between a copycat science student and a genuine science student is clear at a glance, and it is even more obvious when doing experiments.
Generally speaking, it is a group of five or six people on a subject, and just by looking at the division of labor, you can know who is the copycat and who is the right card. It is the genuine card that clearly gives out various instructions, and even unfamiliar measuring equipment will actively use it, but simply follows their instructions and actions, and the instructions that are obviously wrong but are not aware of it. Moreover, cottage science students will never take the initiative to contact the instrument. This is very similar to the old men and women who are determined not to touch the video recorder.
At the beginning of the experiment, the cottage could not raise its head at all in front of the main card. No matter what kind of scolding, you can only nod your head. Because everyone has self-knowledge, the experiment can't be done without a proper card.
Master Keigo Higashino is really very knowledgeable about human nature, and each of the above words is like a roundworm in my stomach, telling my four-year science and engineering career of extremely torturous and needle-like university.
At that time, if I had to compete with myself and bite my teeth to be a science and engineering man who wrote code, then I would most likely have a hard and depressed life.
In fact, if you touch your own boundaries early, it is not a bad thing.
It's no shame to know you can't, to admit that you can't. From the moment I decided to abandon Congwen after graduating from college, I was relieved and knew exactly what I was going to do.
Just like you and Messi playing in the same team, the same coach, the same training, don't you have to ask yourself to be as good as Messi? He entered the Barca front line at the age of 17, why am I still in my 20s in the reserves?
In fact, I know with the naked eye that Messi can score the ball, which I can't play in my life.
Being able to enter the Barca youth team is also a dragon and phoenix among people, and it is also a good way to recognize yourself, take a step back from the sea and the sky, go to other La Liga teams, and even the Bundesliga, and become the thigh of the team.
By my senior year, I had clearly realized that if I wrote code, I was not that piece of material, and there was a high probability that there would be no success in this life. Because I saw the code written by my classmates, just like a sentence that Lei Jun said, "poetry-like code."
Instead of being a mediocre code farmer who muddys every day, why not be a text lover of the sea and the sky?
During that time, I was not in business, addicted to using frontpage software to make my own website, but also saved money to buy a first-level domain name, hundreds of megabytes of space, asp program BBS community, constantly upload their own think of the United States and beautiful photos, engage in personality cult route, even if it is a business model, but also accumulated hundreds of fans. (At that time, there was really a heart that wanted to be red, haha)
This is the front page of my personal website, and I also narcissistically wrote a hidden poem next to what I thought was "Jade Photo"...
At that time, imitating the templates of those portals of Sina Sohu, I also made a portal-style web page like a decent model, opened a lot of channels, what daily photos, daily originals, daily messages, daily communities...
He also made his tens of thousands of words of travelogue to Xinmatai into a "sub-channel" of "traveling the world every day", which is quite like that.
I felt that the light code word was not addictive, so I gave my great-grandfather Wang Yiting a special website, searched for various articles on the Internet, and went to the Temple of Literature to look for books, and used a scanner to remake the work and upload it to the web page.
A person single-handedly doing the website, in the face of a huge amount of work intensity, although every day is busy, I am happy in it - love, really let you break through all obstacles, and continue to output the biggest motivation.
I also ran to the banyan tree to show what I called "literature" and saved some readers. (The most fateful thing is that the readers who exchanged QQ in that year actually recently searched for my public account, and we met again after more than ten years of disappearance)
Although I am in the wild stage of writing articles, for the first time, I feel that my writing ceiling does not seem to have touched the ceiling, to apply today's theme, I feel that I am writing, I have not yet touched the boundary, there is a lot of space to work.
When I resigned and left the system 4 years ago, I wrote an old article, in which I wrote that when I was interning at an IT company in my senior year, I submitted my resume to all the newspaper sports departments in Shanghai and finally met Bole who appreciated me, turned into a sports reporter for a daily newspaper, and began a new career of code words in my life.
When I went to the Telecommunications College to make a triptych and fill in the graduation destination, all the teachers looked at me like monsters and sighed: Hey, you are the first child in our Jiaotong University Telecommunications College to change to liberal arts, why? Figure what?
I smiled and said, because I like it.
After walking out of the teaching building, looking up at the sky, I took a deep breath, and there was a feeling of the pleasure of a wild horse running away from the reins.
The inner longing and joy are far greater than the trepidation and trepidation of embarking on the unknown road ahead.
Later, I gave up when I was admitted to the civil service, and I politely declined to be admitted to the TV station, not to mention a few good code farmer offers.
Only true love can explain.
As a pure wild road player with no background in science and engineering, I didn't start with a headline at all, and my mind was full of words such as "frustration, courage, lightness, and victory", and I was written by readers to complain, and I was told jokes by leaders.
When writing code, I was frustrated to the point of collapse. But it is strange to say, after changing the code word, I am not afraid of being beaten down, and the workplace PUA has no effect on me, but it is more and more frustrated.
I found a professional sports newspaper in recent years, and even bought a whole year's "Southern Sports" from the post office, during the immersion period, every day to study and figure out how others start the title, how to write the introduction, how to assemble the manuscript, how to complete a deep editing plan, how to polish the eye-catching graphic interactive layout.
Not to boast, I am really talented in this regard, in addition to flipping through the newspaper to death, I frantically absorb all kinds of martial arts of my peers around the masters, steal teachers to learn art, touch bypass, a hundred passes, and the business has grown by leaps and bounds.
Later, I came up with a headline that was amazing and impressive; then, many of my fanciful special planning sensational newspapers, almost all of the S-level pages every month were covered by me, and the bonuses were soft.
Until now, I still think very Versailly that the best sports editor in Shanghai is me, without one, and no one will surpass me in the future.
My sports knowledge reserves, the layouts I can do, the planning I can think, the headlines I can play, no second person can do it.
Harmonic terriers, graphic interactive alien layouts, movie-themed packaging, fancy poster manufacturing... The themes are also diverse, from sports to finance and economics, from special topics to special issues. In my career as a layout, I used all eighteen martial arts and had a lot of fun.
In those years, I wandered in the ocean of newspapers, toward higher and farther boundaries, leaping and jumping, and enjoyed it.
But unfortunately, with the change of communication methods, the boundaries of the paper media itself have arrived early, which has bound the hands and feet of our traditional newspaper people.
Later, because of the needs of my family, I also left the system, bid farewell to the newspaper, and witnessed the cliff-like decline of the paper media industry.
Fortunately, I love code words, but I still find my own new space, that is, the WeChat public account.
It is also a coincidence, or a crooked fight, that was once a blog to record my parenting journey, now has become a new career that I devote myself to every day.
I'm happy to write because it's not like a newspaper, there's no constraint, and I can write what I want to say.
But at the same time, the "sea" of the public account is far wider than in the past.
In the new media world where the sky is high and the birds fly, the sea is wide and the fish leaps, and the elites from all walks of life gather, I realize that in this new stage where there are more masters, my boundaries are limited.
It has been written for six years, and there are not many explosive articles out of the circle. Sometimes I am confused and don't know how to write to make my number bigger and bigger - this also proves that I am probably limited in ability.
But no matter what, I am especially grateful in my heart. Do what you like, you can also have time to accompany your children to grow up, even if you touch the boundaries of your own public account career, I can achieve such a balance between career and family, I am also satisfied.
Looking back now, in the first forty years of my life, I didn't dare to say that I had any great ability, but I was still very accurate in my understanding of myself.
When I realized that I was small and incompetent in some areas, and the boundaries were within reach, I quickly digested my frustration and powerlessness, found the right direction, switched to the field I loved more and was better at, in a broader new world, working hard and trying to live.
And, it's not bad.
The same should be true of our children.
It's no shame to realize early on that he's mediocre in some areas. What we can do is to accompany the child to try to explore and find more possibilities in the field he loves.
Perhaps, after finding the right direction, the boundaries of the children can be in the far away, they can't see their heads at a glance, or even touch their entire lives - such a life of continuous breakthroughs, isn't it happy?
Again, nearly six thousand words of chatter, most of them telling my story. I would like to do a brick and a stone to encourage you.