1. Cultivation lies in discovering the meaning of life.
The Swiss writer Hermann Hesse has an essay on reading (excerpt from The Book of Hesse, translated by Yang Wuneng, Reading, No. 4, 1990, No. 3, 1991). The title is Editor's Translation). The article argues that the purpose of true cultivation is to find the meaning of life, correctly understand the past, and fearlessly meet the future. The article also praises the role of reading, persuading people to study classic works with their hearts, discover the world in books, understand society, and improve self-cultivation.
What is "true parenting"? The author defines it as "for self-improvement" and "finding the meaning of life", while pointing out that it is a process of effort, cultivation has no utilitarian purpose, and reading is a lifelong task.
True cultivation does not pursue any specific end, just as all efforts for self-improvement are meaningful in themselves. The pursuit of upbringing, that is, the perfection of the spirit and the heart, is not a difficult trek toward some narrow goal, but the enhancement and expansion of our sense of self, which makes our lives more colorful and enjoys more and greater happiness. Therefore, true cultivation is like real sports, at the same time it is both completion and motivation, reaching the end everywhere but never stopping, always in the middle of the road, resonating with the universe, living in eternity. Its purpose is not to improve this or that ability or ability, but to help us find meaning in life, to correctly understand the past, and to meet the future with a fearless spirit. "
Second, what is really influential is the group of children's peers outside the family.
In His book The Myth of Parenting, Harris discusses socialization. Socialization is the process of making children more accustomed to their own culture and making their behavior more similar to that of their peers of the same sex (socialization refers to learning culture, adapting to their own groups, and becoming part of society).
Judith Harris has used numerous pieces of evidence to prove that the influence of parents in the process of children's growth is not as great as everyone thinks, and the real influence is the children's peer groups outside the family.
In other words, parents do not teach children to socialize, and children's personality is shaped primarily by their friends and experiences outside the family.
The following ideas are shared in Lost in Parenting:
1. The material environment provided by parents to their children has little impact on the child. The basic characteristics of parents, such as the education level of parents and the quality of the relationship between husband and wife, have little impact on children.
The findings suggest that either the parents' behavior has no effect on the child, or the parents' behavior has a different effect on different children.
2. Socialization is the process of taming wild children into obedient children and preparing them to become part of society. Individuals who are socialized use the same language as other members of society, behave appropriately, have the necessary skills, and share beliefs common to society.
The book assumes that socialization is done by parents helping their children. Socialization researchers mainly study how parents socialize their children, and judge the role of parents in the socialization of their children from the perspective of their children's growth.
New Zealand Chinese The Herald has summarized ten characteristics of "cultured people":
Punctuality, conversation, kind attitude, pertinent tone, attention to conversation skills, no pride, keep promises, care for others, generosity, compassion.
"Education and Civilization: A Brief History of Japanese General Education" (by Lu Yi) points out that through the education of literature, history and philosophy, science students can help science students understand the world more clearly, and can prevent science students from blindly listening to the temptations of militarists and going to war after graduation.
In the article "Learned And Raised", Mr. Feng Yiyin fondly pointed out when recalling his father, Mr. Feng Zikai, that he was born to raise and teach. Parenting is the best gift that a family can pass on to its children.
Mr. Toyoichi noted that his father believes that "the method of raising children is very simple. To raise a child, as long as he is taught to be a child forever, that is, never to lose the heart of his child." This sentence is really intriguing!
Isn't the "heart of a child" the "heart of a child"? If we always maintain the "heart of the child", connect the eyes of children to the world, and deal with problems with the wisdom of the elders, we can almost achieve the meaning shown in the title of Mr. Goethe's novel "Affinity". Mr. Su Dongpo is such a benchmark, and his cultivation has made Wang Anshi, a "famous reformer in China in the middle of the eleventh century" who is 16 years older than him, also sigh that people with "pure heart" like Zizhan (referring to Su Dongpo) have only one in hundreds of years!
Su Dongpo's realm of "there is no bad person in the world", it is difficult for us ordinary people to easily achieve, "the road is long and its cultivation is far away"! However, we understand that the platform of the nine layers starts from the earth, and the dripping water merges into a river. As long as you work hard, although you can't get there, it's getting closer and closer!
In "Reading and Being a Man", Mr. Qian Mu recommended reading to enhance his cultivation, preferring "Analects" and "Mencius". This is catching a cow and catching a cow's nose. Mr. Qian said, "For individuals, the easiest way to cultivate is to read books. The so-called cultivation is like planting a pot of flowers, we need to prune the branches and leaves from time to time, and then fertilize and water; if we do not take care of it for three or five days, we will never blossom good flowers, or even do not flower at all, or even die. Planting flowers is still true, let alone being a person! Of course, we must redouble our cultivation." What a metaphor! So easy to understand!
Mr. Bing Xin talked about the importance of respect in "Little Orange Lantern": those who respect others, people always respect them. He who loves others, he loves them forever. Understand this truth, think in a different position, and practice it. Although the light is small, the "small orange lamp" that warms people's hearts will fill the side of the road of life, and the thorns along the way will not feel sad.
That's a good point! Walking on the one-way line of life, who does not need to treat it with true feelings! People have the same heart, the same reason, believe in the words of Si Si!
The true meaning of upbringing inherently requires us to carefully perceive the psychology of the other party and sincerely respect the position of the other party. Sometimes, when we come into contact with people, from the way we talk and the content of the speech to simple greetings and in-depth communication, we can clearly feel that they are well behaved and educated.
For college students, it is not only necessary to master advanced knowledge, but also to temper their thoughts and attitudes well in daily life, devote themselves to cultivation, and make courageous progress. Become a veritable and fairly educated person. The integrity of national higher education is also reflected here.
The article "On Parenting", the article "On Parenting", a well-known scholar of the former Soviet Union, is the text of the 8th lesson of the ninth grade book of the human-taught version of junior high school Chinese (revised edition in the fall of 2018), which compares and analyzes many cases through many "educated" and "uncultured" phenomena, and naturally draws its own conclusions, exploring the essence of "true upbringing" and "elegance".
Likhachev pointed out that good upbringing, on the one hand, comes from family and school, is based on the experience of generations of ancestors, and marks people's desire to become more noble, to live a better and better life, which is a continuous and unremitting pursuit from generation to generation.
On the other hand, you can get it from yourself. Whether a person is truly cultured or not can look at his performance in private. Because of the truly cultured man, his behavior is consistent. He is consistent, steady and easy-going, whenever and wherever he is.
At this point, I can't help but think of the novel "The Wrong Road Lamp" mentioned in the lesson "Traditional Literary Cultivation" that has just ended for the students of the Art College, although it is a work at the end of the feudal society, but it also condenses the author Mr. Li Haiguan (Lu Yuan) who has been in charge of the sea, and has been working tirelessly for decades. Parents in the world who are well-intentioned, have difficulty sleeping and eating, and are thinking hard about parenting strategies but cannot help but chew repeatedly and observe with their hearts. And those who struggle in the dark on the road of life, lose their hearts from time to time, get lost at the three forks in the road of life, pay attention to things and cannot pin their minds on things, may wish to return to reality from the "void", make a unified "grand view" of "life", observe the life of the sages, and listen to the voices of the predecessors. Shu Ji can discover the true "rhythm" of life, which will be done with you!