In the book "I am most afraid that you will do nothing in your life, and comfort yourself with ordinary and precious", there is such a passage:
"I hope you end up being like this:
When there should be an opinion, you can hold the scene with a loud voice, and when you should be silent, you can also hide without making a sound;
Will care and care for others, but never clingy;
You can lay down your body for the people you care about, but except for them, you can be free enough to act without looking at anyone's face;
Keep working hard to prove your worth, but no longer expect praise from anyone. ”
In a few words, he said all the maturity of a person.
Maturity is not the aging of the heart, but after the insight into the world, find the most suitable attitude to the world, and then quietly be your own ferryman.
Mature people, pragmatic but not sophisticated, cold but not indifferent, can be thunder in front of the face without changing color, but also in the gain and loss of a normal heart.
Only those who can do these 4 things can be truly mature.
Hold your breath
In the I Ching, it is said: "Quiet does not reveal the machine, and Yun Leitun is also." ”
This means that people must learn to be silent and retreat to advance, just like the clouds suppress the thunder, but do not show their cleverness, but once they begin to erupt, they can win a great victory.
People who can still hold their breath under the general trend are often mentally stable and have their own good fortune in their chests.
Legend has it that when chu and Han were fighting, Xiang Yu, the king of Chu, wanted to lead an army to attack Peng Yue, leaving Sima Cao to defend Chenggao.
Xiang Yu knew that Cao Wei had a violent personality and was extremely impulsive, so he told him everything before leaving:
"No matter what method Liu Bang provokes, you should not go to war, your task is to hold Chenggao and prevent Liu Bang from advancing eastward."
After Xiang Yu left, Liu Bang did indeed lead an army to attack Chenggao, and Cao Wei remembered Xiang Yu's advice in his heart and refused to fight.
Liu Bang saw the situation and sang a "curse of the city" with the strategist Zhang Liang, and humiliated Cao Zhao under the city wall, who had suffered such insults, immediately opened the city gate and led people out of the city to fight.
At this time, Liu Bang's long-dormant army suddenly killed, and Cao Blame's entire army was destroyed, and he drew his sword and killed himself because of guilt, and was buried in Chenggao.
Cao Wei was grumpy and irritable, easily provoked by Liu Bang's three words and two words, and made tens of thousands of people pay the price of their lives.
Those who can hold their breath will not try to be happy for a while, endure anger, and endure temporary frustration, and will only achieve their goals without hurrying and calmly.
Master Nebula said, "In the days of waiting, be humble and cultivate deep roots, and only in the coming days can you flourish." ”
Anyone familiar with the marathon knows that the faster the start, the more collapsed it will be in the later stages; without knowing how to allocate physical strength, the course will be exhausted before it is halfway through.
Because this kind of race is to fight for endurance, those who do not compete for the limelight at the beginning, but start at their own pace, will win the final sprint.
Life is like a marathon, you can hold your breath, you can be full of staying power; those who learn to retain strength can laugh to the end.
Calm down
Writer Bai Luomei once said:
"A lot of the beauty of life comes from inner peace.
Slowly accept the difficulties of life, give yourself a little time, some deadlines, precipitate all your troubles, and meet the best version of yourself. ”
There is nothing in the world, and the mediocre disturb themselves.
Many things in life are just excessive worry.
A reporter once interviewed a well-known newspaper, and the publisher of the newspaper told such a story.
At that time, the national war was continuous, he was always worried about this, worried about his future fate all the time, sleeping and eating all day, and people were constantly emaciated.
Whenever he couldn't sleep, he would take out a blank piece of paper and start making self-portraits.
He wanted to hypnotize himself in this way, but he didn't want to be extremely sad about self-portraits, and he lamented this.
Later he stumbled upon a poem:
"Please guide me, the light of mercy; please always be at my feet, I don't want to see the scenery in the distance, just one step."
He was enlightened, and it turned out that worrying all day long was nothing more than adding to his troubles.
After thinking it through, he found that his brushstrokes were unconsciously smooth, and the portrait outlined was also quite joyful.
Later, he no longer needed to borrow paintings to entertain the long nights, but to sleep soundly at night, wake up during the day, and his state of mind was no longer affected by the war, and he was finally able to calm down and do things and live as usual.
Lai Peixia, Taiwan's inner growth mentor, once said:
"There are thousands of human diseases, but there is only one antidote, and that is meditation."
Meditation is the slow button pressed for life—joy may not come in waves, but it is gentle and long; pain is divided into segments, becoming weaker and weaker.
Jobs was quite proud of his experience of "practicing Zen", because it shaped his habits of "simplicity" and "meditation", and also helped him to emerge in his career.
The philosophy of "simple and quiet" life seems ordinary, but it is not easy to do.
Inner peace often brings a lot of unexpected strength, when you know how to take the time to precipitate your heart, in order to find an exit worth running to in the difficulties of life.
Hold on
Writer Su Cen said: "People, do not need to have so many superiority, can carry things is talented." ”
For an adult, being able to carry things is a very remarkable ability.
This means that you can still eat well when you are in the worst mood, and you will not complain about yourself when you are in the worst situation, but will cherish yourself more.
In fact, no matter how bad things are, they will not really crush your life, it can only erode your heart.
The movie "Ten Thousand Arrows Through the Heart" tells a very poignant story.
The heroine Li Baoli is a laid-off worker, and one day she found out that her husband Ma Xuewu was cheating, and she was indignant, so she reported him to the work unit.
Her husband was forced to be laid off due to the problem of life style, and it was difficult to accept it for a while, so he jumped into the river and committed suicide.
She was left with only a minor child and a mother who needed support.
Unemployed and widowed, Li Baoli could not breathe under the pressure of survival, but she still took up the burden of supporting her family.
She turned herself into a "flat shoulder man" on the streets of Wuhan, grabbing work with men every day, leaving early and returning late, and supporting a home.
Her husband's betrayal and fate did not corrupt her heart, and she was still the stubborn woman who could carry things.
After experiencing many difficulties, it is not difficult for us to find that pain is the best catalyst for growth - those things that we thought could not survive, insisted on persevering, and they all survived.
The world is fair, and how much pain you can endure, how much it can be.
Writer Tsai Chongxin, one of Alibaba's permanent partners, was asked at a sharing session:
"What's the saddest thing about you over the years?"
Cai Chongxin thought for a long time and replied:
"There doesn't seem to be anything particularly sad, but some things are really difficult to handle."
The implication is that no matter what, it will only make him drain his mind, but it will not crush him.
You see, what makes people stagnant is not the outside world, but their own hearts that are not tough enough.
The measure of a person's strength is never to see how high he can climb, but to see how much rebound he will have when he falls into a deep valley.
If you can bear things, you don't have to be afraid of any unknown in life.
Save money
Many years ago, the host Dou Wentao told a story of his own in "Threesomes".
When he was young, any job was done according to his own wishes, and he felt that in order to make money, he forced himself to do something he did not want to do, and the money he earned was also "shameful money", so he never had any concern about saving money.
It wasn't until later, when his mother moved into the ICU because of a stroke, that thousands of pieces were often spent in the blink of an eye, and he didn't know the taste of panic at that time.
Since then, he has taken over jobs, just to earn money, regardless of preference.
Because he knew that saving a little more money would prolong his mother's life for a few more days.
Unexpected and unpredictable, people who have not experienced hardship always seem to have difficulty grasping the meaning of "saving money" for life.
The money saved is not just the amount lying on the bank card, but the sense of security accumulated in the heart - emergency, life, pain, which is based on money.
People who can save money are not only mature in heart, can curb their desires, but also are full of planning for life and know how to plan ahead.
There is a term in criminal psychology called the "broken window effect."
This means that if one window on a building is broken and not repaired, other people will break more windows because they get some kind of conniving hint.
Similarly, if you easily break the originally intact "window" in your account, you will allow yourself to take out more money again and again from this broken hole until its balance becomes zero.
The book "The Nature of Poverty" says: "Poverty is due to lack of planning for the future. ”
Deposit is the top self-discipline, is the biggest confidence in your face of risk.
Don't underestimate every penny you save, it is they that support all your wishes and make you gradually approach the life you want.
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Miriam Yang sang in "Little Star": "Why do I know until I graduate, I also have to take the exam in my lifetime." ”
The tests of life are many, career, feelings, life and old age, illness and death... Everything is sad, everything can't escape.
Mature people use their tenacious hearts as a haven, and then hold a sword and fight life with all their strength.
For the rest of your life, I hope that you can calm down, calm your heart, carry things, and save money; understand that everything will eventually be different, see through the distractions of personnel will eventually dissipate; the footsteps are not vain, the heart is not hesitant, and the past is not regretful.