A woman's second chance to repair trauma

In this life of women and men, they have to take a small detour psychologically.

When the boy is born, he is in a symbiotic state with his mother, but when he passes the Oedipus period, when he reaches adolescence, he will identify with and go to his father, and be more with his father.

Psychological identification is subconscious identification, such as I am a man, what men should do and what they should not do. And girls will identify with it twice.

Girls are also born with their mothers, and in Oedipus, she will go to her father, and then she will want to marry him. When she grew up, especially in adolescence, she began to identify with her mother, and this identity was still subconscious, and she stood with her mother, which was the first time in a girl's life that she identified with her mother.

The second time was after the woman had given birth. After a woman has given birth, she will go to her mother again and merge with her mother. In life, we may see such a phenomenon, a girl and a mother are fierce, but after giving birth to a child, the grandmother and the child are particularly close, in fact, the grandmother likes the child is also through such an opportunity to express her love for the daughter.

There is such a topic, after giving birth to a child, let the elderly take it, bring it themselves, and ask a nanny to bring it, which is better? In fact, let the elderly with such a small benefit, when the elderly with children, often repair some of our inner trauma. We were neglected as children, Mom and Dad didn't treat us more, and when we saw Mom and Dad taking care of our children, we felt healed.

This part is still very difficult when some of the problems and problems of the original family are not dealt with, and it is also necessary to prevent that when the grandmother takes the child, she may take the place of the mother, and the subconscious mind treats the child as her own child, overprotective.

Once I went out for a walk with my baby and met a grandmother, the little boy was about three years old, and she said that from the birth of the child to the present, she was carrying it, and the mother of the child would not do anything. I studied psychology, and although the meeting was only a few minutes away, I knew what was going on inside their family. A woman, in addition to schizophrenia, psychosis and the like, is born to be a good mother, and her natural motherhood will guide her how to take care of her children. We go to the BBC documentary, those lionesses, the tigresses, they are born with cubs, and the same is true of our human mothers, we have instincts.

Won't that little boy's mom take care of the baby? Perhaps her own mother loved her daughter too much, or was too controlling, and she replaced her daughter in performing the functions of a mother.

Whatever the reality, a child's first attachment is his own mother at any time, and when his own mother is really not good enough, it can be someone else.