Traditional Chinese culture has two attitudes toward women: one is religious, the other is practical, such a concept makes women more of an identity role in marriage.
@ Free Thoughts
This is another realistic work of Zhang Aijia as a director. It is still from her feminist perspective, focusing on the spiritual growth of women in the context of the times.
As a Taiwanese actor and director, Zhang Aijia's presentation of mainland family life is real and simple, without a little literary and artistic style, let alone cultural isolation and alienation. Her work is not about examining life, she is deeply involved and thinking about life. What we feel is her deep understanding and rational cherishing of traditional culture.
The story in the movie is true but absurd: after Yue Huiying's mother died, she wanted to take out the ashes of her father buried in the countryside and bury her mother, but was blocked by Azu in the countryside. Azu married Huiying's father, Yue Zifu, at the age of 17, and after half a year of marriage, there was a famine in the village, and Yue Zifu wanted to go into the city to break in. This intrusion was not carried back until he lay in a coffin in 1996.
Azu waited for Huiying's father for a lifetime, and only waited for a corpse of her father, which was the expectation of Azu's husband and wife reunion in the next life, and she could not let go of Huiying. Azu and Huiying did not give in to each other.
Huiying's daughter Vivi and boyfriend Ada slowly understood Azu's pain. The feelings of three generations are changing in the continuous narration, Azu finally let go of the ashes of her "husband", and at the same time, Hui Ying also plans to send her mother's ashes to the countryside to be buried with her father.
This is the love story of three generations, the different attitudes of three generations of Chinese women towards marriage, the collision of tradition and modernity, the compromise of ideals and reality, the confusion of self and the exploration of self.
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Azu's lifelong waiting is only for the value of her identity brought to her by the role of his wife.
(1) Azu's view of marriage and family: affection is love
Azu took out a letter written by her "husband" Yue Zifu to see Wei Wei, and the content of each letter was to send money to supplement the family. Vivi told Azu, "These letters are family letters, not love letters of love. You just forget him, he hasn't come back for so many years, he hasn't taken care of you, he doesn't have you in his heart. ”
Azu eagerly argued: "He sent me five extra dollars to make a jacket." The old man helped me find someone to make a jacket, I wore it, and took a picture and sent it to him. You shoot you shoot, it's written on it! You see, he didn't send a penny less to support his family. ”
In traditional culture, marry a man and marry a man, dress and eat. In Azu's heart, a man has never stopped giving himself a home, and this is not "taking care" of what it is? This man also does not forget to let himself buy a new dress, this is not "having himself in his heart" what is it? Vivi said, "He treats you as a relative, which is different from his feelings with my grandmother", Azu does not understand, what is different. Isn't it love? Not relatives, family members, where will there be this love!
(2) Azu is an offering of traditional morality
Azu is a traditional woman in rural society. She is married to Hui Ying's father, and the wife is her family character and her social identity. Even her name, Yue Zengshi, was based on the role of his wife.
But in Azu's life, the "husband" was always just a symbolic existence. He was just a script hanging on the wall, a native script that only Azu himself knew. Images of her husband remain in her memories from decades ago, blurred to the point where she didn't even recognize the "husband" in the photographs.
When a man never returns, a widowed old man without a man and no children, what does it rely on to gain a foothold in rural society? Azu can only abide by the duty of his daughter-in-law and send his in-laws to the end of their lives. This duty is the morality she recognizes, and it is also the only way for her to obtain identity in rural society. She does not dare and cannot betray this tradition because of the "betrayal" of men.
The moral ethics of providing for her in-laws to retire and send her to the end have finally won her the "glory" of climbing the family tree, and also ushered in the defense of her identity by the villagers. Although the Zhenjie Arch at the mouth of the village is not erected for Azu, the inscription on it is "Jianhui Jie cao, women's cleanliness, kindness is that is, Jie Zhengangchang", which is the value judgment that Lao Zu has adhered to throughout his life. That's society's recognition of her identity, that's where her value as a woman lies.
(3) Azu is a religiousized woman
Azu defined himself all his life by a bunch of symbols. She has not experienced the sweetness of husband and wife hand in hand, has not enjoyed the beauty of motherhood, she only has a bunch of socially recognized labels. Returning from Huiying's house, Azu begins to realize that the "husband" she has defended all her life is so illusory; when the group photo of Ada P is soaked by rain, she finally understands that the face on the photo has never belonged to her "husband".
She personally supervised the delivery of this false "husband", and the farewell of "I don't want you" was so resolute. What she sent away was her once unfortunate life, and what she let go was the obsession she no longer needed. At this moment, Azu ushered in the highlight moment of her life. At this moment, she has finally become herself; at this moment, she is finally just herself.
In the Chinese tradition, women are not only the biological re-producers of the nation, but also the re-producers of national culture. They seem to be natural guardians of traditional culture, and they can always create a 'home' in a unique cultural way", and then pass on the ideas behind this culture to the next generation.
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Huiying is the inheritor of traditional culture, and she defends and criticizes tradition at the same time.
(1) Huiying's concept of love and marriage: there is love before there is love
Hui Ying sadly read the love letter written by her father to her mother and taught her daughter: "Compared with your TV shows, this is called true love. ”
Hui Ying told Azu: "My mother was my father's only legal wife, they fell in love and married, and then took care of each other for a lifetime, in my memory, they never said a word to each other out loud. Now that they can be buried together, it is a matter of course, can you understand my intention as a daughter? ”
The love of parents is the appearance of Huiying's ideal love, and there is love before there is love. The mother murmured before she died, and Hui Ying stubbornly explained that the mother wanted to be buried with her father. She had seen the love of her parents throughout her life, and she wanted to make her ideal love more perfect—to sleep together in life and to die together. She could not accept that her mother was called the second room, in her heart, her father and Azu had left home within half a year of marriage, there was nothing to love or love, so she had to do her filial piety to her parents and let the love in her eyes have the most happy ending.
On the one hand, she lamented the hardships of the women behind the chastity arch, and on the other hand, she ignored Azu's painful life as a woman. She defends her ideal marriage with the tradition of filial piety, but rebels against the traditionally sanctioned marriage of Azu.
(2) Huiying's identity crisis
Among the three generations, Hui Ying's identity role is the most comprehensive, she is the daughter of her parents, Wei Wei's mother, Lao Yin's wife and the teacher of the students.
When she was young, she waited for Lao Yin, who was born in the military, as a proud son of Tianzi, and then persuaded her parents to accept Lao Yin, which was a marriage that filled her with a sense of superiority. But Old Yin's only promise disappointed her, and she longed for a man who could say love like her father.
As a mother, the daughter does not approve of her; as a wife, she finds that Lao Yin and the neighbor Mrs. Wang are flirting, and Hui Ying, who is in menopause, cannot help but be anxious and cannot help but panic.
When these two identities were in jeopardy, she was even more reluctant to lose her status as a teacher. Soon to retire, she told the students who tried to say goodbye to her with a cold face: "Who told you that this is the last [Teacher's Day]?" She stressed to her colleagues at the meeting: "Now that I am experienced and rich, the children are older, there is no worries, and I think it is a waste to retire at this time." ”
Looking at the daughter who is going to leave home sooner or later, the disappointing husband, and the career that is about to be lost,
This series of identities attached to others is free and unstable, exacerbating her panic. The fear of "loss" made her want to control more and more. Lao Yin told his daughter, "Your mother is afraid", and said that Huiying's identity is in crisis.
She wants to prove her filial piety as a daughter by burying her parents together, to re-demonstrate her worth in the family, and she wants to continue to guarantee her position of authority in the family through her regressive social identity.
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For the young people of Vivi's generation, love must be kept, and love must be bravely pursued. So she didn't understand why Azu didn't go to the city to find grandpa? She didn't understand why Azumin knew that Grandpa had married his grandmother and why he hadn't remarried? She was not worth it for Azu, complaining that the selfish grandfather had delayed Azu for a lifetime, but why did she grievance Azu so much pain and reluctance to say it?
Vivi is a pampered and habitual generation, she is self-ego, willful, and self-sufficient. She is anxious to seek independence, so she hates her mother's excessive control over her and tries to move out of her parents. Obviously, she was financially dependent on her parents to cause her lack of independence, but she interpreted it as her mother not allowing her to be independent. On the one hand, she thinks that as long as two people love each other, she can steal the hukou to get a marriage license; on the other hand, she is confused that Ada does not have any savings, and the hesitation she has when she says to Ada Sajiao, "You raise me", is her confusion about herself in this love.
Azu is her grandmother and the material for her show. She wanted to explore the truth of Azu's lifelong waiting, that is, her curiosity as a woman, but also her professional needs, and she was also vague about her identity in this matter. Ada questioned the motives of the TV show, and even more questioned Vivi's betrayal of her family's privacy. These questions increased her trepidation and intensified her self-doubt.
Although the ID card that was left at home when she and Ada received the permit were not intentional, it just shows that she does not have the ability to enter the marriage. She doesn't yet understand the responsibilities of marriage, she doesn't know her place in the relationship, and she doesn't know how to fulfill the role she should have. With tears in her eyes, she told Ada, who was going to Beijing, "I won't wait for you," and with hesitation, she told her mother that she would have to wait for Ada for the rest of her life, but "how long is this life?"
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >04.Love, men and women have different trade-offs; marriage, different times have the same content</h1>
The self or individual in traditional Chinese culture is the self or individual in the relationship, and the person who is the "role" often transcends the person as a certain gender, and the difference between the sex is always integrated with the social role in various ways, so men and women have different choices.
(1) Love and marriage will never be the shackles of men
In Azu's life, the husband is just a memory of sending money to support the family, a name hanging on the wall, a pile of bones that have fallen back to the roots, and an invisible person has manipulated Azu's life like a marionette.
In Hui Ying's life, Lao Yin is a passive being. He is truly grateful to Hui Ying for choosing himself and treating his parents kindly. His expression of love for Hui Ying is obedience and silent care, and he has achieved Hui Ying's wife identity with hidden forbearance.
In Vivi's love, Ada is autonomous. Originally going to Beijing, he could have stayed because of his love for Vivi; he frankly helped as a small single mother; he did not hesitate to accuse Vivi of being too cruel to Azu and questioned Vivi's original intention of letting Azu go on TV. He is not a man who is lost for love, love or not love, is his active choice.
De Beauvoir said: Men are autonomous people, women are involuntary people; male references are not women; women are subordinate to people, and are secondary to the primary.
Whether it is Grandpa or Lao Yin and Ada, they all stand in the world as their male identities. Instead of looking for identity in the women around them, they set their sights on the outside world.
As soon as Grandpa left, he never came back, and Lao Yin told Hui Ying: I definitely want to go out myself, it is best to have you, if you don't go I will go by myself. Ada said to Vivi: Many things if you don't do it, there is no chance, I settled in Beijing you can come to me, you can come to me, you want to come or not.
Men have long been the subjects of society and have exercised patriarchal rule in all aspects of society. Therefore, men do not have a trace of wandering when they explore outward, they do not need to use marriage to prove their existence, and they do not need to use a marriage to realize their value.
(2) A woman's love and marriage always need a certification of "power"
The gender order of male superiority over female inferiority is not naturally formed, but artificially constructed by society and culture, as the famous saying in the book "The Second Sex" says: A person is not born to be a woman and becomes a woman.
Both Azu and Huiying are looking for a power support and recognition for their own recognized feelings.
Azu is supported by the invisible power of traditional social customs. The villagers told Hui Ying: "Your father and your mother are legal or not, that is a matter in your city, and in our place, we recognize Azu." She sent your grandparents to the end of the pension, her name is written on the family tree ancestral hall, you want to say that she has nothing to do with your father, then how is it possible? ”
In the relationship between her parents, Huiying is looking for legal approval, and she has worked hard to issue street certificates, unit certificates, and marriage certificates for her parents who have died, full of absurd black humor. Her own identity panic is a deep confession from Old Yin, who has endured for a lifetime, which allows her to rediscover her value as a wife and gives her the direction of her future life when she is about to retire.
Vivi also gradually realized that feelings that were not recognized by her parents seemed to be difficult to do. She does not have the ability to prove her love with a lifetime of waiting like Azu, and she has realized that her future marriage cannot be separated from the protection of her parents.
Women are not independent individuals, and women are subordinate, involuntary, and determined in contrast to men. Women are always placed in a particular human relationship, as a social or family role as opposed to men. Under the domination of the male power, in the subjectivity constructed by the patriarchal culture, women always habitually seek identity.
(3) Love is never the only content of marriage
Ada's departure is that both he and Vivi have realized that there is more than just love in marriage.
DoesN't Azu understand love? When Vivi asks Azu if her boyfriend is very handsome, Azu's face appears with a girlish innocent expression. When Vivi tells Azu that her mother will not agree to the boyfriend she is looking for, and playfully says, "Or I will elope with him", Azu, who does not say a word, suddenly responds with a sonorous and powerful "yes".
Azu did not get the love of Huiying's father, but he still waited for a lifetime, because the traditional society's marriage is based not on love but on economy. For a rural woman who has no independent financial ability, she can only be attached to such a marriage. The ability to support a family is the most important value criterion for a good man, so Azu angrily screws the female reporter who says that men have "betrayed" him. In her heart, Hui Ying's father, who has raised a family all his life, is a well-deserved "husband".
Hui Ying is a respected teacher, and she has different identities and economic and social identities from Lao Yin as a driving school coach, so she can command Lao Yin in her family. Vivi only saw that her mother was "unreasonable" to her father, and she did not see what her mother's "unreasonable" capital was.
The economist Friedman once wrote to warn his nephew who was ready to give up his career for his girlfriend: You can make your own decisions, but if you really think that this girl is the only favorite of your life, then I tell you as a statistician that the chances of meeting the two only favorite people in the world are zero.
The socialization of family fertility and pension functions, and the independence of women's economy, have greatly reduced the economic attributes of marriage. But after all, the marriage system is a product of the economy, a combination of two economies of men and women, and to run a family like a business can harvest quality marriage. To let two people in a marriage go through a lifetime, love alone is not enough.
epilogue
Marriage is not an easy thing, whether it is Azu who has waited for a lifetime, or Hui Ying, who has complained and blamed for a lifetime.
The younger generation should understand that if you want to accompany you to watch the sunset when you are aging, you must put away the idea that you are not willing to pay for marriage, and then find a person who has the same idea to run it well. But even so, there are still many changes in the future.
In short, it really takes a lifetime to understand what love is.