"Ocean's Edge" is a Disney anime film work, the father because he went to sea with his friends, the result of his friend died at sea, he failed to save him, so he was very remorseful, afraid of the sea, do not let people sail, and let the daughter away from the sea, worried about the daughter's problems.
This father has a lot of love for his daughter, because he is worried that his daughter will have an accident when she goes to sea, so he "imprisons" his daughter on the island. However, Dad's experience is no longer suitable for the current situation.
However, later, the island's resources were exhausted, and he had to go out to the island to sail and save the island.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >1</h1>
It's like a lot of parents who, when they suffer something wrong, warn their children, or even prevent them from doing similar things, or force their children to do something.
The most representative thing may be to learn, parents have suffered from no diploma and no culture, they hope that their children will study well, be admitted to college, and do not follow their own old path.
I want my child to be a teacher, a civil servant, a doctor, such an iron rice bowl profession.
For the sake of children, knowledge can indeed change their destiny, and it is the biggest shortcut for rural children, but sometimes it changes taste.
Many parents believe in traditional education methods: "filial piety under the stick", "hitting is kissing, scolding is love". As everyone knows, today's children are no longer suitable for that kind of education.
It is true that there are talents under the stick, but we can't ignore many children who have been ruined by the stick.
On September 17, 2020, a student in Jiangxia No. 1 Middle School in Wuhan City was invited to parents for playing poker. After his mother arrived, without saying a word, he reached out and slapped his hand, and he subconsciously raised his hand to block it.
After his mother said something, he stood up straight, lowered his hand, and probably did not allow resistance. The mother reached out and slapped her face again, this time with a strong and solid punch in the face.
Next, the mother pinched her neck and poked her forehead, poking and poking at the same time, cursing something... After his mother left, he stood in silence for two minutes. Suddenly climbed up the railing and jumped down.
Many parents will say that today's children are too fragile to take a hit. Wrong, it's not that the child can't stand a little blow, but can't stand a lot of blows. Embarking on this dead end road must have suffered a lot of blows.
Some parents will say that they also grew up in this way of education, and there are not so many extreme behaviors.
Why is that? Because that era was very poor, being able to eat and wear warm without starving and freezing to death was already a happy thing, and the material needs were not met, and it was not a psychological need. Just like Africa now, it is good to have enough to eat.
But times have changed. The children's material conditions are too rich, so the spiritual needs are increased, but in fact, the spiritual needs are not met accordingly.
Instead, there is often a lot of blows, criticisms, accusations, and controls.
A child grows up in such an environment all day, and after a long time, it will naturally collapse.
The child has just begun to be criticized, and will definitely change, but when he finds that he will still be criticized for changing, he will learn to be helpless, so he will break the jar and break it.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" >2. Change the way of education and adapt to the development of the times</h1>
When the law was changed, the conservatives questioned: The law of the ancestors is immutable.
Kang Youwei responded: The times have changed, and the law of the ancestors must change.
Facts have proved that only change can better adapt to the development of the times.
In the past years, being able to eat and dress warmly was the biggest thing.
Today's children are different from the children of the past, they have ideas, self-esteem, interests and hobbies, psychological needs, need to listen, understand. It is not so much need for materials, but often the material needs are too rich.
In fact, this is because parents have been too scarce in material life and desperately need material foundations, so they take it for granted that children also need to give children a lot.
There is a child, the mother will stuff an egg in her bag every day and let her eat it, but the child has actually eaten enough, even if he tells his mother that he does not want it, he is still forced to stuff the bag, so every day the eggs are thrown away by her.
Later, I learned that when my mother was a child, because her family was poor, she could not afford to eat eggs, and she often watched other children eat eggs, and she could only eat them during the New Year. So she thinks eggs are good things, and she must give her child an egg every day.
It seems that the mother is hurting the child and boiling eggs for the child to eat, but in fact, she is hurting herself who once could not afford to eat eggs.
Therefore, communicate more with children, give them the love they need, and meet the material needs they need.
For today's parents, education is indeed difficult, and today's children are exposed to too many things, and parents sometimes even can't keep up with their children's pace.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >3. What should parents do about education? </h1>
Cultivate an interest in learning and have fun learning
Now there are too many interesting things, vibrato, games, will attract the eyes of children, learning is more boring, so we should pay more attention to cultivating children's interest in learning, when you are a child, try to make learning interesting, do not give children pressure, so as not to rebound behind the phenomenon.
Avoid punishing children with learning and linking learning with pleasant emotions
Many teachers and parents, when the child's performance is not good, the habit of punishing the child with the role of punishment, this practice is very wrong, slowly the child will be learning, writing homework and punishment linked, then naturally hate learning, who wants to be punished often?
Communicate more with your child and listen to your child's voice
Communicate with the child, the parents' emotional ups and downs should not be too large, otherwise the child will have fear psychology, and slowly dare not communicate with the parents.
Here, once again, I highly recommend the movie "Galaxy Tuition Class", which is really a treasure book for educating children. I have written two articles to summarize it myself, and if you are interested, you can take a look at it.
For many parents, it is difficult to do this, but what in this world is not difficult to do? In order to cultivate the child into a healthy, optimistic, and socially useful talent, these efforts are worth it.
If as a parent, you have not been well educated, then learn more about the new way of education, as long as you are willing to learn, it is not too late.
Text: Psychological counselor Liu Jiannan
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