The modern man lives in an illusion that he thinks he knows what he wants, when in fact he wants nothing more than what others expect him to want.
- Fromm, "Escape from Freedom"
When I first went to college, I went to another unfamiliar city to live independently for the first time.
After the military training, the Mid-Autumn Festival became the first festival that was not at home, the classmates gathered a few more drinks, returned to the dormitory, and suddenly sad: when they went out late with their classmates at home, their parents would always ask, what time to come back? But now it is "drunk and left alone."
Living independently outside, there is indeed room for free choice, and there is no parental bondage at the same time, there is no parental care.
I don't know how many children who hate their parents at home will miss their parents' nagging after leaving home.
For the first time, I was so unfamiliar with the world in which I could be the master, and I desperately wanted someone to "take care" of me.
This is what Fromm calls the price of freedom in Escape from Freedom: loneliness and the feeling of powerlessness.
01
Escape from Freedom was written during World War II. The two world wars brought so much thought to thinkers that the executioner, who wanted to carry out orders without realizing that he was wrong, prompted Hannah Arendt to write Against the Evil of Mediocrity, revealing that "every snowflake in an avalanche is an accomplice."
Fromm pondered why Germany, with its long democratic history, had elected totalitarian regimes like the Nazis.
It should be known that the Nazis did not seize power through military means such as coups d'état, but were democratically elected by the people.
Fromm used psychology as a starting point to explore the question of human freedom, and this book seems today far beyond the meaning of political science.
Freedom is a concept unique to modern society, and its drawbacks also have unique modern attributes.
Individuals in feudal society had no freedom, and people's hierarchy in society was fixed.
"Life and death have a fate and wealth in the sky", whether it is the process of life or the end, are prescribed, it is difficult for people to achieve a level, so there will be no idea of changing their destiny, anyway, there is an arrangement in the dark.
Therefore, the people in the feudal society are consistent with the role of society, the peasant is not only a profession, but also an identity, a scholar, a farmer, an industrialist, and a merchant, all have their own positions, even if they have money such as Shen Wansan, they are only the tools of the soldiers.
Under such a hierarchy, people do not have free choices, and their economic status is determined by birth, but they give people a sense of security and belonging.
Just like children who have parents in charge of everything, there is the transcendent power of "heaven" / "God" that determines everything, people only need to listen to the arrangement of fate, good and bad are what they deserve.
02
Disobedience is the beginning of reason.
The Renaissance and the Reformation freed people from the shackles of spiritual authority, and reason became the new God.
In the awakening of reason, man gains freedom and anxiety.
Capitalist society and the freedom of individual people promote each other, on the one hand, modern society people are becoming more and more independent, relying on labor to support themselves, do not have to rely on others, free to sell their labor, while on the other hand people are becoming more and more isolated, lonely, and fearful.
In capitalist society, relations between people are alienated, and employees and bosses are only "tools" to achieve each other's goals. Man sells his labor, skills, knowledge, time, service in the market... The market determines the value of people, or even the value of all.
If a person's value cannot be recognized by the market, just as a slow-selling commodity with use value has no value, the person is useless.
People understand their own value not through themselves, but through success in the market: when they find a job, they become confident, while when they are unemployed, they become depressed and deny all their value.
Therefore, whether it is useful to society and whether it is in tune with society becomes a measure of value.
However, social alignment and mental health are two different things.
The price of better adaptation to society may be to give up oneself in order to be what others expect.
In modern society, freedom is man's destiny.
In Heidegger's words, man is "thrown" into the world, not because man chooses freedom, but because freedom dominates man.
Because of the loosening of the relationship with God, man's relationship with the world has also become loose.
Life is no longer a destiny created by some transcendent force and placed in a certain position in the world, but the result of free choice.
However, with the deepening of understanding, people find that reason will produce frustration when understanding the world and grasping man's position in the world, and will produce doubts and powerlessness about the individual.
The relationship between the world and man became a Camusian "absurdity."
Just like young people always feel that they have unlimited possibilities, but when people reach middle age, they find that they can't do anything.
Fromm discovered the two sides of freedom: on the one hand, freedom brought about an awakening of individuality, awareness of the possibilities and responsibilities of individual action, and on the other hand, it also brought danger and pressure to face the world alone.
So some people began to escape freedom.
03
The escape from freedom occurs when man is free of bondage, but there is no possibility of freedom and individuality, or the inability to bear the price of freedom.
People need to find something external to bear the unbearable anxiety and fear.
Authoritarianism, destructive desire, and mechanical convergence are manifestations and consequences of the escape from freedom.
Authoritarianism is psychologically related to masochism and masochistic tendencies, and the two often accompany each other: one who wants to exert influence on others and force them to obey; one who desires to listen to others and relies on the sense of security given to him by the abusive object.
In marriage and romantic relationships, it is common to have such a match: the husband treats the wife badly, repeatedly telling the wife that she can get a divorce, but when the wife really wants to divorce, the husband begs the wife not to leave, saying that he loves her. The wife was soft-hearted, and was treated badly, and her life began again and again.
In this example, the husband is an abuser in the name of love, and the wife is an abuser who does not dare to act autonomously, forming a closed loop of mutual bite.
The same example has happened to parents and children, some parents often say to their children, "I am good for you", and the subtext is "Only I know what is good for you, so you have to obey me." ”
People often use excessive kindness and concern for others to cover up sadistic tendencies.
The so-called "one slap does not sound", masochism will also have a certain pleasure, that is, "masochism is wrong": let yourself be regarded as a child, surrender to others, get rid of the individual's loneliness and powerlessness.
This also explains why those marriages that mourn their misfortune are often accompanied by "anger and indisputable": the abused party complains bitterly, but refuses to divorce. There is only one reason: not daring to live independently. It's not that you can't, it's that you don't dare.
In many bad marriage relationships, the abused party may even be the one who makes more money, and the reason for not divorcing is not the material inability to live independently, but the spiritual fear.
Fromm summed up the reason for masochism as: get rid of the ego, get rid of the burden of freedom.
Destructive desire can be understood as "impotent rage" and is one way to escape unbearable feelings of powerlessness, as well as mechanical convergence.
Individuals desperately suppress themselves to meet the standards of society, using work, purchases, consumption, etc. to make individuality and social requirements achieve the same.
Mechanical convergence is much like today's "brainwashing," where people think they're expressing independent opinions, but in fact they're just repeating the ideas they just saw on the Internet.
04
As for how to dissolve the negative side of freedom, compared with the critique, Fromm offers a somewhat idealized way out: love and the liberation of the individual.
He encouraged people to pursue the realization of all personalities and actively express emotions, to reconnect themselves with the world, to feel the self in the world, and to eliminate loneliness while maintaining the "self".
How much of Fromm's advice is practical, but his insight into the "negative" aspects of freedom is profound.
As Hannah Arendt said, everyone has an obligation to reject the evil of mediocrity and not to think that they are insignificant. Fromm also told people that if everyone could think independently and refuse to be "brainwashed", totalitarianism and the man-made disasters of history would be avoided.
Similarly, in life, behind every abuser there is also the escape and connivance of the abused person.
Bravely take on the negative side of freedom and don't run away from it. Others can be hell or heaven.
（图：Ivan Ivanovich Shishkin）