<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right">1 In intimate relationships, our psychological stress is too great</h1>
The last time I had tea with my friends, I suddenly found that her hair was a lot whiter, and when I asked, I realized that it was a relationship and a breakdown. In fact, whether it is love or affection, it is easy to be injured in intimate relationships, and it is easy to make people exhausted, and they continue to let their energy be trapped in these things for a long time, and they are not free.
I have a trainee who has long been criticized by his father when he was a child, and no matter how much money he earns and how successful he is when he grows up, the status quo still has not improved. So as soon as I talked to my father, I lost control of my emotions and even had a fierce quarrel.
Why is that? Because how long his father could encourage him once, rather than dislike and hit him, but the reality was not as good as anyone wanted. This strong emotional appeal is not satisfied, and the more obsessive it is, the easier it is to lose control of emotions and quarrel.
Why is intimacy so easy to drain everyone's energy? Because we have high expectations and strong emotional needs for intimacy, and hurt is the result of insufficient satisfaction of emotional needs.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >2 The heart understands the pressure, and the most important thing is to learn to love yourself</h1>
Most people lack love, and many people's practice is to constantly express their needs, or to find alternative ways to meet this part of the needs. We have been looking for "love" everywhere throughout our lives. When you are young, you look for it from your original family, from your teachers and friends in your youth, and from love, marriage, family, and society when you are an adult.
However, the effect is often not obvious, and it may even be considered by the other party to be pretentious and interfering. Because you can't control the outcome of this path, you tend to hurt yourself again.
My advice to friends is: In intimate relationships, the most important thing is to learn to love yourself.
Only when you learn to love yourself well, the love of others for you will not be "charcoal in the snow", but only "icing on the cake". Only by learning to love yourself, you can see every good that others treat you, and you can love others more freely.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" >3 People who love themselves well have more free energy</h1>
People who love themselves well have more freedom of energy. Because their sense of security and efficacy comes from themselves, rather than spending all their energy on seeking the other person's emotional response.
It's often said, "Love yourself well," but how many people have actually done it?
Love yourself well, you may wish to tell yourself that the real energy source of love is only yourself, you can live confidently, calmly and happily; love yourself, then go to bed early and get up early, let yourself restore your healthy physique; love yourself well, let yourself live leisurely every day, not disturbed by various emotions.
Bi Shumin said in the book "You Have to Love Yourself Well": "If in this life, you can cherish the body and cherish the soul, then from this port, you will become a peaceful and happy boat, step by step, safely moving forward, sailing into the vast sea that cherishes others, cherishes all things, cherishes the world." ”
Love yourself well and be a person with free energy.