My name is Yan Ruobing (pen name), I was born in 1990 in a small mountain village in Hunan Province, when I was a child, I was like today's children, innocent and lively, carefree. Although at that time my parents worked outside for many years, did not give me enough companionship, but I have a grandmother who loves me, in my childhood memory, my grandmother's love for me will not be less than the love of my parents, but there is more than enough, eating and wearing, grandma did not buy me less, even if the conditions were not very good at that time, but as long as I opened my mouth to say yes, grandma will definitely meet my needs, of course, I am very content, very sensible, never with grandma too much demand, because grandma loves me, I know better than anyone.
At that time, the traditional thinking of the old people was serious, and the grandfather preferred sons to daughters, so he was very fond of the children of the uncle's family, that is, my cousin, and the uncle's family was an only son, and the family held him in the palm of their hands. And I am not the same, my parents work outside all year round, only go home once a year in the New Year, return to the place of work at the beginning of the year, at that time the traffic is not as extensive as it is now, so I am very satisfied that they can come back once a year, even if at that time I often long to get more fatherly love and maternal love, but I just buried my thoughts in my heart. Because at that time, I was still quite happy, following my cousin's ass all day long, like a small tail. My cousin is also happy to take me, anyway, I will follow what he does, fishing and catching fish, picking mushrooms, sandwiching yellow eels, etc., no matter what boys and girls should do, how to be happy, after all, I am a left-behind child, the good point of saying it is that it belongs to the free-range type.
My cousin was 3 years old, and I remember that at that time our homes were next to each other, my home was a little above my cousin's house, and my grandmother's house was between the two of us. Because my parents were not at home, I lived with my grandparents, and although my cousin lived in his own home, he ate and so on, and he was also at my grandmother's house, except when it was dark and I went home to sleep! Grandma's house was made of three huts made of adobe bricks, and in these three huts, I was full of memories, and I still remember them vividly. The most profound thing I remember is that every time I come home from school, the bag is too late to put down, the first time is to run to the sleeping room, open the old wardrobe of Grandma's house to find food, as long as I hear the sound of "Hiccup Quack" (Grandma's wardrobe is some years old, so when it is opened and closed, it will make a "Hiccup Quack" sound), Grandma knows that we are back from school. My cousin and I would rummaging through the delicious food, a mint, a bag of instant noodles, a rice bubble, etc., and Grandma's wardrobe was like a treasure chest, there was always something to eat, and later we learned that it was Grandma's full love for us! Now that I think about it, although I was a left-behind child, my grandmother's love made me feel very happy and happy at that time!
When I was in the first grade of junior high school, my father called home, told me that my mother was pregnant with a baby, and asked me if I wanted a brother or a sister. At that time, I was happy, a strong nod on the phone, in fact, I did not know what I was happy about, perhaps thinking that my mother was pregnant with a baby and did not have to go to work, you can come back to accompany me! At that time, family planning was tight, and my mother could not give birth to a baby outside, so when I was about to give birth, I remembered that there were family planning staff who found our home, my mother hid and was not taken away, and then it seemed that she was fined a few thousand yuan, and my mother could give birth to my brother safely. After my brother was born, the family immediately became lively, and my father came back, and I was happy during that time. Dad didn't stay at home for long before he went out to work, and Mom took my brother to Dad not long after his brother's full moon. I was still the same, because I had to go to school, and I had to live with my grandmother at home. Later, when I was about to graduate from junior high school, our family built a new building, and my uncle's family also bought a house in the town, and my grandfather and grandmother were separated and supported. Grandpa himself chose to follow my uncle, grandma followed my father, in fact, the relationship between the two old people has always been very good, in my memory, grandparents seem to rarely have a red face, maybe they did not think that they would be separated in their old age! In fact, this is also no way to do it, because in the countryside, families with two or more sons will be separated and supported when they are old, fortunately, the town is not far from my newly built home, and grandparents can often chat together.
Because the middle school entrance examination was not ideal, I was not admitted to a key high school. At that time, I could hear the news of the recruitment of new students in a certain vocational and technical college everywhere, so I was sent to a vocational and technical college in the city at the beginning of the summer vacation, and enrolled in the Chinese and English secret majors. The teachers of the college told us that this major is very suitable for girls, and it is very good to sit in the office as a clerk and secretary in the future. At that time, I didn't know anything, and I didn't know how to choose the path I would take in the future, so I chose this major in a confused way. Later, I took the adult college entrance examination in the college, and I took the exam quite ideally, and I graduated from the vocational and technical college in less than three years. I still remember the three years of vocational school, only once a month to take a vacation home, teenage years, the first time I experienced the taste of homesickness, fortunately I persevered.
I originally thought that after getting a college diploma, it would be easy to find a job, but I didn't think that everything was just what I thought! In 2008, college students are a big grasp, looking for a job of ten people out of seven or eight college students, recruitment information although all over the street, but the first requirement is to have work experience. I only entered the society from school, I had no experience, and I could only hit walls everywhere. There are also a few companies that do not need work experience in recruitment, and when interviewing, they ask a lot of questions, the whole interview process is extremely boring, and the salary given in the end is not high. I found that with my personality, I may still not be suitable for sitting in the office, and I have no choice but to go with the flow. Just like this outside for several days, watching the living expenses in my pockets getting less and less, and I was worried about not knowing what to do, the classmate who graduated together said that she was introduced to a hotel of one of her relatives as a waiter, thinking that I could temporarily solve the problem of eating and living, and I agreed. In fact, at that time, I was unwilling to do so, not to look down on the profession of waiter, but I did not expect that my first job after graduation was so far from the ideal job. For the sake of face, since they have all graduated, I can no longer ask for money from my family, so I went to her classmate's introduction and became a waiter at her relative's hotel. It was in this hotel that I met my husband.
May 2008, is a may that people can never forget, Wenchuan earthquake touched the heart of every countryman, that is, in this May, I began my career as a waiter, although the salary is not high, but colleagues are very easy to get along with, everyone sees my young age, there are many places I do not understand will be taught by hand, I also like to get along with them, simple and happy, no conspiracy. Because we are waiters, usually in addition to the customers who eat, the most to get along with is the chef, because sometimes no matter whether the customer adds or withdraws, we have to go to the cashier to add a list, and then send it to the back kitchen, and over time, the chef of the back kitchen will slowly begin to cook. At that time, my husband would come to me after work to change my mobile phone to play, at first I did not understand, why should the mobile phone be changed to play, is not it all the same? Anyway, there are no secrets in the phone, just change it. After a few days of changing like this, I realized that something was wrong. I have a colleague in the same dormitory, his boyfriend is the back kitchen, but also come to her every day to change the mobile phone to play, is it... I don't know much about this emotional aspect, after all, I am still young, so I think it may be that I think too much, this situation is not the best to say broken, otherwise it will be awkward to meet when the time comes. Later, an employee gathering began with me and his relationship.
Shortly after going to work, there was an employee gathering in the hotel, the boss took our employees to book a large private room to sing, everyone played quite hi, at the party we did not have too much intersection, too many people are too noisy, drinking and drinking, singing and singing, just play until one o'clock in the morning. My sister in the same dormitory called me to leave, so I went out with her and prepared to take a taxi back to the dormitory. I didn't notice that he was also coming out, I found him standing next to me while waiting for the taxi, and he said to go back with us! The time when waiting for the car was very windy, the temperature in the evening in May was not very high, the wind was still a little cool on the body, there was nothing to block around, he also wore a dress, maybe he felt the cold, and then stood next to me and blocked part of the wind for me. Looking at the street lamp pulling his thin figure, the light shone on his face, and suddenly felt very warm. The taxi dropped us off at the hotel door, he gave the fare, then dropped me and my colleagues at the door of the hostel and went back to the dorm ourselves. Later, we spent somehow more time together, sometimes I studied in the dormitory, he would also sit in the dormitory for a while, accompany me, in my opinion, he is a warm big brother, I also like the feeling of staying with him.
A few months later, it was my eighteenth birthday, and it was ridiculous to say that I had not had a birthday cake or a decent birthday in the seventeenth birthday before that. I thought that this birthday would be nothing special, who knew that he told me that he bought a cake, asked colleagues to go to the bar to celebrate my birthday, saying that it was false not to be moved, after all, the first time I had such a grand birthday, and so many people accompanied, my heart has been melted. What's more, he also called his own sister, and I didn't know what to do at the time, because I didn't know his sister very well, anyway, now that I think about it, the atmosphere should be quite awkward. After the birthday, we were officially in love, and there was no confession, so that now I will joke about this matter, saying that he chased me, although I also liked him at that time, but I was a girl who could not take the initiative to chase the boy, maybe this is the fate, it can't be stopped when it comes. Later we did a lot of things together, I followed him to many places, but at that time I had not told my parents about my relationship with him, and he took me to meet his parents, when I was nineteen years old. I didn't make any preparations, didn't understand anything, and I didn't ask for the red envelope when his mother gave me the red packet. Later colleagues with similar experience said that this red envelope must be collected, why should they receive it, they can't say it, since they can't say it, it shouldn't matter much!
After the hotel where we worked closed, we went to work in another city together, and he was still a cook, and I was still a waiter. I was twenty years old that year, we rented a house outside, I wasn't a casual girl, if it wasn't for him, if it wasn't for the result of running to marry him, I don't think I would have come out with him and lived with him, but I still didn't have the courage to tell my parents about my love affair. Go to work together every day, leave work together, walk together on the way back to the rental house, hold hands, and a sense of happiness arises spontaneously.
Within a few months, I found out I was pregnant, and if I didn't tell my parents again, I really couldn't tell. With a nervous heart, I called to tell them about my pregnancy, and my father was very angry, maybe he thought I was pregnant before marriage, and he was embarrassed. You know, in the countryside, the traditional thinking is serious, and it is a very disgraceful thing for girls to get pregnant if they are not married. Later, he called my parents over and over again to explain and reassure that when my parents saw that I was pregnant, they could not postpone it any longer, so they promised us something. We also took advantage of the rest time at work to take wedding photos, when his salary was not high, more than three thousand yuan a month, but he spent a month's salary to take wedding photos, to be honest, I felt that I really met the right person. I still remember that the wedding photos were moved from that city to another city by car, although it was hard work, but the heart was extremely happy and happy, during that time, the wind blew from the side, it would feel sweet.
It's the first month of 2011 and we got married. At that time, I was more than five months pregnant, my stomach was a little pregnant, and my relatives and friends around me had blessings and gossip. But I don't care anymore, as long as my parents and grandma can witness my love with him and agree to be with us, everything else doesn't matter. In this way, he and I became a real family, but suddenly integrated into the family, in the face of his parents, I suddenly a little uncomfortable, anxiety at this time somehow came out. Because he worked in the city, and I was pregnant again, I had to be taken care of by my mother-in-law in the countryside. He would ride a motorcycle home with me every night after work, so far away, and went to work for another day, to be honest I felt sorry for him, but selfishly wanted him to come back with me.
Later, because I thought it was safer to have children in the city, I proposed to rent a house near the hospital to live in, so that even if I had to give birth, I would be in a hurry, because we didn't understand these things, and it was always right to prepare in advance. My husband agreed with my idea, and my mother-in-law was also very supportive, but the family work could not go away, and my mother-in-law could not go to the city with me, so I could only take care of myself. Because of the limited conditions, the environment of the house we rented was very general, except for a bed, a few cabinets, there was nothing inside, even the bathing place was communal, the cooking place was outside the house, and the tableware was still bought by myself. But I don't mind that, because as long as I can be with him every day, I will be very happy and happy. He still goes to work in the morning, comes home from work in the evening, and every day he will call a lot to ask me about my situation, although I am also very uneasy, afraid of any unexpected situation, fortunately everything is fine, our life is flat and there is a little more expectation, looking forward to the arrival of the child.
Anyone who is a mother knows what it's like to be pregnant, and although there are a lot of discomfort during pregnancy, when the baby punches and kicks in the stomach, you will find out how wonderful it is. During pregnancy, I did many tests, drew blood many times, and I was afraid of injections, and I insisted on it again and again. In fact, it is not really afraid of pain, but the psychological fear that I have not been able to overcome. Now think about it, I didn't even dare to hit my ear holes, I actually cut two knives in the stomach, gave birth to two children, at that time I didn't know who gave me so much courage, the only thing I said in the past should be that I loved him! I remember the last time I had my birth, the doctor told me that I might have to give birth early because the amniotic fluid was already cloudy and the fetus was not safe in the stomach. At that time, the pregnancy was more than thirty-nine weeks, the fetus had matured, and the doctor said that if it could give birth, it would have to go home and pack up her things and prepare for hospital delivery.
After all, it was the first time, nothing was prepared, the baby's things were also worse than that, and even my confinement clothes were rushed to buy. When the doctor asked us whether we were born by ourselves or by caesarean section, he asked the doctor in detail which of the two ways of childbirth was safer and which pain could be less, and then he was afraid that I would not be able to be born myself, and I would be stabbed if I was guilty, so he decided decisively to choose caesarean section. When signing the preoperative agreement, he carefully read the agreement, I saw that his hands were shaking, he probably didn't know that having a child would have to face so many emergencies, what amniotic fluid embolism, what heavy bleeding, he told me that he had never heard of it, he was afraid! At the urging of the doctor, he signed and changed his clothes, and I was pushed into the operating room. In the operating room, I felt like a lamb to be slaughtered, afraid of helplessness, but the arrow was already on the string, and I could not help it.
Fortunately, after the anesthetic, the whole person seemed to have slept, there was no pain or itch, and there was no feeling. In the confusion, I heard the doctor call me and tell me that I had a daughter, and at that moment, tears poured out, which was happiness and relief. When I was pushed out of the operating room, my mother-in-law and mother were waiting for me outside the operating room. Because at that time, the country car went to the city at a time point, how often, I was told to be admitted to the hospital to give birth and was in a hurry, so when I told my mother-in-law and mother the news, they could only catch the earliest car to come, fortunately, they came out not long after they arrived at the hospital. My husband ran over and kissed me on the forehead, said hard, and my tears didn't know why they flowed. Then it was a rush to take care of the newborn, fortunately, at that time, there would be an intern sister-in-law in the hospital to help, and we did not understand anything. Although the mother-in-law and the mother have some experience, the children born and the children in that era are different now, from making milk powder to changing diapers, they have learned again from beginning to end.
My husband's vacation is only two days a month, because there is a mother-in-law and my mother, he went to work after I gave birth to my daughter, he finished the things in the hospital and went to work, and came to the hospital to accompany me at night. After a week in the hospital, the doctor told us that we could be discharged, and the hospital had a car to take us back to the country, so my husband did not go back with us after helping us carry our things to the car. No way, now there is another sweet burden, he has to go to work to earn money to support us two. During the confinement period, my mother-in-law took good care of me, and the chickens raised at home stewed a lot for me during my confinement, and I am very grateful to her.
Later, the daughter was a little older and could be handed over to the mother-in-law to bring, and the husband resigned. The two of us discussed what a small business to start at home so that we could spend money with our daughter. Listen to my husband a relative said that the business of buying fruit through the countryside is easy to do, and it does not take too much money, just buy a three-wheeled motorcycle, and then enter some good fruit. But at that time, the new building in the family was repaired, more than half of the money for repairing the house was still borrowed, and my husband's salary was only enough for our expenses, and there was no remaining money. I offered to sell the three gold I bought when I got married, and then went to buy a three-wheeled motorcycle. My husband looked at me and didn't speak, I knew him, he didn't want me to sell the three gold, after all, he saved a few months of salary to buy it for me. I smiled and said it was okay, I sold it, I don't love these, and I have to keep it at home to prevent thieves. My husband asked me again, are you sure you want to sell? I nodded, it is true that I don't love these things, it is true that I am not afraid of thieves, I want to do something for this family is also true, his efforts are also in my eyes and in my heart, for my daughter, for this family, there is only so much I can do. The money from the sale of three gold is still enough to buy a three-wheeled motorcycle, get a certificate, weld the car shed, enter the fruit, everything is going very smoothly, so our road to selling fruit through the countryside has begun.
Because we want to enter better fruit, we will rush to the fruit market before dawn, and sometimes we will have to go home empty-handed when there is no goods. Don't underestimate a selling fruit, there are many routines in it, including talking about prices, choosing varieties, etc., earning money a day can earn hundreds of thousands, do not understand these days can only earn a salary back. In this way, the fruit was sold for a long time, and there was no money saved, and the money earned was used for expenses. The daughter is also growing up day by day, and there are more and more places to spend money, and there is no way but to find another way to survive. During the period, I did a lot of business, all of which were invested in small capital, of course, I did not make any money, and finally I could only give up.
Later, we began our part-time work road, traveling between the provinces and cities, saving a little money, in addition to the usual living expenses, the rest of the money was used to repay the money borrowed to repair the house at that time. The daughter followed her mother-in-law and began to go to kindergarten in the countryside, when the daughter's health was not very good, she always had a cold, and going to school was also three days of fishing and two days of drying nets, injections and medicines. Every time I hear the news of my daughter's illness, I will cry a mess when I am far away, and I will feel sorry for my daughter and think of my daughter. My husband saw that I was very anxious about my daughter, and finally decided to take my daughter to live with us, even if the conditions were almost bad, the family could be together.
After my daughter took over, I couldn't go to work anymore, fortunately I worked in my relative's shop, and the place where we lived was still in the place, and I would also help in my relative's shop, so that my heart would go too far. At that time, my husband's salary to support us was still not a problem, but the good times were not long, the business in the relatives' shop was not good, and finally we had to transfer it, so we had to return to our city with our daughter. Seeing that my daughter is also about to enter the first grade, we can no longer take her around, we must settle down, my husband decided to develop in the city where we live, my daughter is in the city to go to school, I am responsible for taking care of my daughter's life and study. We rented a one-bedroom house near the school, my husband works in the city, it is close, and my daughter's school is convenient. The days are uneventful, the family is together, the husband takes us out to play when he rests, and occasionally takes time to go home to visit the elderly on both sides, full and beautiful.
When my daughter was in the second grade, there was a time when I went out with her, and whenever she saw the baby, she would cry and ask me to give her a brother or sister. At that time, my husband and I did not have the idea of having a second child, and the elderly in the family occasionally mentioned it, but we poured cold water on it. Now the standard of living is too high, raising a child to spend too much energy and financial resources, the conditions of our two families are not good, everything can only rely on themselves, raising a child has been quite difficult, if you want a second child, our pressure is too great. But the daughter did not understand this, she said that she wanted a brother or sister who could play with her, I told my husband the idea of my daughter, my husband did not want to give me too much pressure on my thoughts, said that everything is just natural. It wasn't until one month that I found out my menstrual period was delayed, went to the hospital for a check-up, and the doctor told me that I was pregnant. At this time, I don't know how to be good, it will always come, this may be fate. Since we all came, my husband and I still decided to leave him behind, just as my daughter wished. The daughter was overjoyed, and she said she was finally going to have younger siblings.
During the pregnancy, my mood was not very good, sometimes my daughter made a mistake, I would yell at her loudly, but once the roar was over, I couldn't help but shed tears. Looking at my daughter's aggrieved look, I don't know if our decision is right or wrong. Thinking that after the birth of the baby, our one-bedroom and one-room room will not be enough to live, and after discussing with my husband, we decided to rent a larger house, and to rent a larger house, which means that the rent is more expensive than before. But there is no way, the conditions of the one-bedroom and one-room rental before are general, it is a particularly old house, there are many rats and so on, plus after giving birth to a child, the mother-in-law has to take care of my confinement here, and there is no place to sleep without renting a larger house.
Later, I began to look for a house nearby, fortunately, I found a two-bedroom house in an old community not far away, and I was still satisfied after seeing the house, of course, the rent was twice as expensive as before. My husband used the time off work to start moving, the house we are renting now is on the fourth floor, there is no elevator, we will move up little by little, and my daughter knows to help. When we had moved everything and the house was packed, our family smiled happily. The daughter finally has her own separate room and her own private space.
Compared with the first pregnancy, this time I have a little experience in relative terms, from preparing the baby's supplies, my own supplies, and then to the hospital, I have prepared it myself. My husband is still busy at work, leaving early and returning late, sometimes taking time to accompany me to go to the obstetric examination, sometimes busy can't open my body, I can only go alone. The mother-in-law is older, her health is not good, she has to take medicine all year round, I can't let her take me to the maternity examination, plus if the mother-in-law comes to the city, she has to take a car for more than an hour, tossing and turning back and forth, I am afraid that her body can't stand it. Sometimes I admire myself, a pregnant woman also has to take care of a child, saying that I am not tired is false. But when people are alive, who are not tired, wives and mothers, some grievances can only be swallowed into their stomachs. Although my husband still treats me like before, and has not changed for so many years, the trivialities of life's money, rice, oil and salt will still make me occasionally lose my temper with him, but once I lose my temper, I regret it again. He is also a person, life pressure is so big, he never poured bitter water with me, a person silently endured, I don't know how strong his heart really is. Looking at him, I told myself that I was going to be strong too, and to hold up this family with him.
A few days before the due date, I saw red, because there was no seizure when I gave birth to my daughter, and I gave birth to my daughter by caesarean section without other symptoms, so this time I was still a little panicked. Fortunately, I quickly calmed down, because the hospital had already been fixed, and I just had to call the hospital. I called my husband first, then the hospital, and then the hospital car came to pick me up. I took my daughter with me, took some materials from the previous examination to the hospital, packed up some daily necessities and went to the hospital. Check here and there in the hospital, and when my husband leaves work, my examination has all been done, and I wait for my husband to sign.
Because the first child was caesarean section, the second child could only be delivered by caesarean section, and the time was set for the next morning. After settling in the hospital, my husband came home and brought all my packed things with me, I thought it would be a quiet night, but in the middle of the night, my stomach hurt badly, and at dawn, the amniotic fluid broke, and I was pushed into the operating room. The same hospital, the same surgeon, the same familiar scene, reappeared in my life. Not long after, the doctor announced that he was a big fat boy of eight pounds and eight twos, no wonder my weight soared to more than one hundred and fifty pounds during the pregnancy, and sure enough, the baby born was also "heavyweight".
My mother-in-law stayed in the city for more than forty days, and after we had finished the full moon wine, she went back to the countryside, and I began to take two children alone. Because I want to ensure my son's rations, I eat more, so in the months after giving birth, I did not lose much weight, and my figure was seriously out of shape, and I began to feel depressed. Sometimes I lose my temper without warning, and my daughter and my husband suffer, especially my husband, who can only accommodate me in everything. Later, when my son weaned and began to drink milk, I began to control my weight, although I am recovering well now, but compared to when I gave birth to my daughter, I still gained a lot of weight, especially in my stomach, the rectus abdominis muscles are separated and there is a distance of two fingers, and I have never lost weight. In addition, when pregnant with a son, the stomach is too large, the fetus is too heavy, resulting in deformation of the lumbar spine, waist pain at every turn, and you need to fall asleep on your stomach at night to fall asleep. Sometimes I will sigh that I must not be a woman in the next life, have children, be too guilty, the ghost door is closed, and I have fallen ill. If the love is not too deep, who would be willing to take such a big risk to have children for you, so I hope that women all over the world can be treated well by life and loved by their husbands.
Now I am 31 years old, no savings, no house, and my husband has worked hard for ten years, with a second-hand car, a self-built house in the countryside, two children, and my husband's one-month salary to support our family. Although the two elders of the in-laws and mothers-in-law do not need us to raise them now, they have not given us much financial support, we have all come step by step on our own. I don't envy other people's lives, I don't have anything to envy, my husband is seven years older than me, even if we have been married for ten years, our feelings are still the same as when we first started together, and they have never changed. I guess that's the life I want, and although there are no too many sweet words and no unexpected surprises, after many years, the person next to the pillow is still you, and it is enough! Now my daughter is ten years old, my son is more than two years old, so many years of hard work, the biggest wealth is two children, thinking that the two sisters and brothers can have a dependence in the future, this is also a wealth for them.
Written to friends who have the opportunity to open this article:
If fate allows us to meet, like my story, but also ask everyone to extend the small hand of fortune to give me praise and attention, like can be forwarded plus collection, creation is not easy, but also hope that everyone carefully read and then like, do not second praise Oh [than heart]
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