At that time, I was too young to know behind every gift of fate,
All secretly marked the price.
One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman. A person is either born a woman, she becomes a woman.
Many girls in life are treated as flowers, raised in the arms of their parents, and then transferred to their husbands to continue to take care of, which seems to have become the standard for a woman to be "happy" and pampered.
But there has never been anything in this world that is taken for granted and unchangeable.
If a woman loses her favor, the first thing in front of her is how to survive the difficulties of independence.
In the movie "Mysterious Superstar", the mother of the heroine, as a mother, she is a typical representative of most traditional women in India:
With little education, after getting married, he devoted himself to his husband and children, took care of the housework, and circled around the three-foot stove every day.
In the face of strangers, she always had to cover her husband's dissatisfaction with small things with a headscarf, and beat her face red and swollen.
Faced with her off-duty husband, she had no capital to escape from and no room to resist.
If you forget to boil hot water, you will be beaten to the point where your hand is almost broken, and if you can't say anything to your husband's heart, you will be choked on the neck and yelled...
When she cooks the salt lightly, she will be immediately blamed.
She forgot her husband's business trip date without packing his bags in advance.
The husband slapped the food over her face.
She supported her daughter's dream of selling her jewelry, bought a computer for her daughter, and was considered by her husband not to take men seriously, and was beaten to the ground with bruises on her face.
How many men in life are similar to the husbands in the film, engineers with decent jobs and academic qualifications, and have control over their wives and daughters.
I was alone and toiling, supporting my family and putting up with a stupid woman.
In a world where men are inferior to women, daughters and wives are his appendages, and no patience is possible, and a little respect is extravagant.
The wife in the movie is gentle and kind, beautiful and full of spirit.
Just because she is not well educated, cannot have independent capital, and in a patriarchal society, she is repeatedly materialized, without dignity and without choice.
Although this is an Indian movie, how many women in China have children and worked hard in marriage, and can they really be completely happy?
In real life, how many women —
Because the education level is not high enough, there is no better job.
Because you have to take care of your family's children, you can't realize your ideals.
Because they are not mentally independent enough, even if they are financially independent, they cannot give themselves enough courage to live the life they want more.
So they continued to endure in an unsatisfactory life.
The Shawshank Redemption says:
These walls are interesting. When you first go to jail, you hate the walls around you; slowly, you get used to living in them; eventually you find yourself having to live on it.
If marriage is a wall, women who cannot be independent will eventually only get used to this wall and have to rely on it to survive, as to whether it is good or bad, they can only rely on "Providence".
In The Second Sex, De Beauvoir mentions:
Marriage is the union of two separate individuals, not an echo, not a retreat, not an escape, not a remedy. Women who are controlled by the offerings are not liberated from men because they have a vote in their hands! She was still a slave, and only labor was the guarantee of her true freedom.
Many women are realizing that they have to come out of the family and do social work.
But it is found that women are always at a disadvantage in labor and work.
The upcoming Women's Day, March 8, celebrates the advancement of women and the respect of a woman who strives for her independence.
On March 8, 1908, tens of thousands of female laborers in New York objected to unequal wages between men and women, opposed excessive working hours, and demanded that women be entitled to vote.
Their slogan of "bread and roses" has been deeply influential for a long time:
Women awaken, women pursue the quality of life and the realization of women's self-worth.
Although this festival originated in Europe and the United States, most of the countries that have survived are countries with far-reaching socialist influences, such as China, Cuba, Vietnam and Russia.
And China, from a country that has experienced the bad habits of polygamy, child bride-in-law, prostitutes, and foot binding, to becoming one of the countries with the highest female literacy rate and employment rate, has benefited from the shortest time in history.
Although modern women will no longer suffer the cruel treatment of the old times, the true independence and equality of women are far from being realized.
Many women with high salaries still commit suicide because of the failure of family marriages, or have low self-esteem.
The definition of women given by society still has a lot of voices of "husband and son, good wife and mother" - only marriage and children are the most important things in a woman's life, more important than your personality development and more important than your dreams.
But truly independent women should be far removed from these ideas.
Hu Shi said:
You must fight for independence, not for freedom. Freedom is for external bondage, independence is your own business, giving you freedom without independence is still a slave. Independence should not be blindly followed, not deceived, not dependent on the portal, this is the spirit of independence.
Many women are increasingly understanding that the core of independence is their own spiritual independence.
Now many women have jobs and are financially independent, independent in personality, independent in spirit, they have their own way of thinking, so they choose their own marriage, their own life path.
Because the spiritually independent woman is already a complete person, she not only has feminine qualities, but first of all has the characteristics of "human" individuals.
A woman who is mentally independent—
The ability to solve the problem of survival, whether to work or be a housewife, is just the free choice behind her financial independence.
Have their own philosophical dimensions to measure and understand the world to address confusion and ignorance.
Have stable emotions and a critical way of thinking to solve all the problems you face, including emotions, marriage, setbacks...
Only with spiritual independence can you direct your behavior according to your own will.
You are not controlled by the outside world, not coerced by others, not influenced by groups to make decisions, to live a life.
You don't live under the influence of what others tell you to do, and you do what others say your life should be.
Even being a housewife is a lifestyle you choose in your own will, not forced.
When you are not willing to be a housewife, you can have the possibility of change, and your spirit will support you to make changes.
Instead of just going along with it.
You have your own hobbies, not just around family and kids.
You have your own ideas, not people.
You have your own judgment, you are not confused by the appearance of the outside world, you have a strong spirit that supports you through hardships and hardships.
You can choose to give up your dreams, and you also have a strong heart that can pick up your dreams at any time.
You can say what you think and understand about anything you say, rather than just casually believing other people's opinions.
In the movie "Shaky Human World", the female poet Yu Xiuhua, born in the countryside, the fate brought to her by cerebral palsy is:
A loveless marriage arranged by the family
The husband is out all year round, talking to chickens, ducks, dogs and birds
With a broken body, he staggered into farm work
In this case, Yu Xiuhua is more likely to become a mediocre, toiling, and lonely rural woman.
But with her only learning experience and sensitive perception of the details of life, even the cripple of cerebral palsy and the dismal marriage did not prevent her independent spirit from thinking and creating.
She curses the world when she is not happy, and when she is lonely, she writes poetry and lives in her own spiritual world.
She stubbornly ran on the frozen field of ice and snow, as if to say to every woman: Don't lose yourself at any time.
Even if only your fingers can tremble and type, you must leave a clearing for your spirit outside of your worldly life.
Only in this way, even if There is no emotion between her husband and herself, even if Yu Xiuhua is under the broken body, even if Yu Xiuhua, who lives tenaciously in the countryside, will break into such a verse:
These words that do not succumb to life, with rebellious and playful emotions, come from Yu Xiuhua's deep desire for her ideal life.
Sticking to her own spiritual world allows Yu Xiuhua to become a female poet respected by thousands of readers.
It also allows Yu Xiuhua to go to the society to choose how to face his feelings and marriage, what kind of life to live, what kind of road to take...
Have you thought about how to live your life and what kind of road to take?
Hope you enjoy the power of the column to pass on to women. In the next week, the column will take you to think about women's independence and growth from different dimensions.
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