A few days ago, the "suicide note" of the female writer of Jinjiang, Yue Shishui, I believe many people saw it and cried.
This is a sad story, after several years of marriage, the wife poured out her heart and lungs to be kind to her in-laws, and also went to work and wrote to earn money to support the family, but the husband frequently cheated on her when the fetus was not stable.
The wife wants to divorce it, the husband is unwilling, the mother's family, the in-laws are persuaded and not persuaded to leave; do not leave, watching the husband and the little three days of flirting, for the wife, is undoubtedly the greatest mental torture.
So the wife left a "suicide note" and ran away from home, fortunately, a few days later, the police finally found her, although the mood is still very unstable, but the person is at least safe.
Many netizens said that the moon water is depressed, and it will not be opened for a while.
In the book "Emotions, Please Open the Door", it says:
Depression is a high-level emotion peculiar to human beings.
"Emotions, Please Open the Door", author: Zhang Weiyang, Doctor of Psychology of Peking University, Doctor of Psychoanalysis, Doctor of Psychoanalysis, Chinese Member of the Sino-AMERICAN Psychoanalytic Alliance (CAPA), Member of the International Society of Imagery and Dream Work, Senior Psychological Counselor, 10 years of clinical psychotherapy experience.
He devotes himself to the study of emotional issues, and has been unanimously recognized by the industry for the originality, practicality and ease of use of theories and methods.
In the author's view, grasping the emotions is grasping the root of life, and growing up is also a kind of beauty.
Depression is a topic that we often talk about lately.
Depression is something that everyone has, and everyone will have depressed emotions in certain situations of life.
What are the characteristics of depression? Literally, depression, meaning melancholy, depression, meaning melancholy, depression is the gradual accumulation of melancholy emotions, which is a manifestation of poor emotional fluidity.
Depression has three characteristics:
First, low energy doesn't want to do anything;
Second, low sense of self-worth, total denial of oneself;
Third, there is no sense of hope and no hope of changing the status quo.
The causes of depression are twofold:
First, some people are too unexpected in functioning and ignore their own feelings;
Second, such people cannot reconcile their various roles with their own needs outside of all roles.
Moon death water emotional depression, more causes in the second.
Everyone enters a certain role from birth. For example, whose sons or daughters we started out with, as we grew older, we began to have more and more characters.
Each role demands on us accordingly, we must be a good student, a good employee, a good wife, if we are a good mother... At the same time, in addition to all the characters, there is also an original self.
If all the energy is divided among these roles, then the real self outside all the roles will not be allocated.
Just like the moon passing water, she may be a good daughter, a good daughter-in-law, a good employee, a writer that everyone likes... However, when confronted with a scummy man, she does not know how to reconcile her various roles with her own needs outside of all roles.
But we are the masters of life, so we "thought" of a way: to withdraw all the life energy, the obvious manifestation is that there is no energy to do other things, that is, the most obvious characteristic of depressed people:
Without energy, I don't want to do anything.
She will have a low sense of self-worth and slowly deny herself completely; even her heart will be full of hopelessness and she will have no hope of changing the status quo.
Is depression, an uncomfortable, consequence-provoking emotion, positive? The answer is yes.
The function of depressive mood is twofold:
First, depression can trigger people to observe, understand, and reflect on themselves;
Second, depression has the potential to make people recalibrate their lives and establish a sense of meaning.
My neighbor, Sister Min, after her divorce, raised her daughter alone, devoted all her energy to raising her daughter to become a talent, and completely let go of her own needs. After more than ten years, in high school, my daughter's grades were not very satisfactory, and even fell from the top ten of the grade to the top fifty of the grade.
Her daughter's grades were unstable, she was very depressed for a while, and even did not have a good face for her daughter for a while, and she jumped every day.
Later, we learned that when she divorced, her ex-husband had questioned whether she could raise her daughter to become a talent, and at that time, Min Jie held her breath. It was also from that time that for her, the only goal of life was to raise her daughter into a talent and prove it to her ex-husband.
Such an outward goal, if not achieved, she will fall into a very deep emptiness and denial of self-worth.
She began to fall into self-doubt, is that my life? She felt that her life had no meaning because she had not drunk the applause of the man.
In fact, her life itself is wonderful. She has a house and a car, excellent work ability, and is an idol for newcomers to the company to learn. But she asked for someone on the outside — her ex-husband — to come and cheer her on, which sowed the seeds of her depression.
Because she gave the judgment of her own value to someone who did not approve of her.
It wasn't until her daughter cut her wrists and was hospitalized that she suddenly realized that the healthy growth of children is far more important than getting the approval of some unrelated people.
She gradually recognized this and adjusted herself. Her mentality has changed, and she is also happy with her daughter.
She no longer put her expectations on her daughter, who did not have strong psychological pressure, but her learning became easier, and her grades slowly improved.
Therefore, the function of depression is very important, it is a high-level emotion unique to humans.
For example, my neighbor Minjie, the pain caused by her depressed mood prompted her to seek help from external resources, so that she gradually discovered her inner value and thus found the meaning of her life.
Most people's view of emotions is that they are depressed and must be emotionally stable; venting, feeling that catharsis is fine.
In fact, long-term repression will only crush a person; retaliatory consumption and overeating to vent emotions will only bring worse results.
In the book "Emotions, Please Open the Door", she said that emotions are the gatekeepers of inner wisdom, and only by treating emotions well can wisdom come out and release themselves trapped in emotions.
Depression is just one of those emotions, and emotions are the way we taste the world.
For emotions, we need to be clear:
Emotions are not good or bad, they are our precious life experiences;
The venting and suppression of emotions are "curing the symptoms but not the root causes";
"Good emotions" can sometimes cause trouble;
Emotions are not just emotions, we need to see the needs behind the emotions;
Allowing emotions to flow naturally broadens the breadth of life;
Emotions need to be seen and expressed rationally.
Every emotion is the messenger of the heart. We must learn to remove the fog of emotions, listen to the information behind emotions, open up inner wisdom, learn to cope, process, and express emotions, and let emotional sensitivity become an advantage, rather than a problem.
Finally, I sincerely hope that the moon will be able to re-examine the emotions, and finally learn to cope with the emotions, and get out of the emotional troubles as soon as possible. Because it's not worth ending your life for a relationship that has already decayed and deteriorated.