The author of this article is @Hidden Drink of time editorial department
Heal life with movies.
How long would you hold out for a secret love that can't see the light?
Few days? Months? Or a few years?
There are two white-haired grandmothers, Terri Donahu and Patty Hanscher, whose love lasted 65 years before they could confess to everyone.
Before that, they were just inseparable good friends, calling each other cousins, but they did not dare to say that they were each other's love in life.
Recently, a Douban 9.1 documentary "Hidden Love" produced by Netflix tells a secret and firm love story between the same sex, and they finally stayed together for 72 years.
Time Jun wants to say that the delicate and touching love details of these two old people are too sweet and too good to cry!
They fell in love in the forties and fifties, when the United States was the most homosexual, and could not enjoy love in the sun until the twilight of their lives.
But love is love, regardless of gender.
Those gentle confessions under the street lamps, sneaky kisses in the sandstorm, sweet love letters to tear off the signature, and the warm wedding that finally waited, the careful love is also hot and abnormal!
Looking at us, in addition to their love, there is also the pension problem of lesbian partners in the twilight of life.
They have experienced too many storms, they have long looked down on life, only death can separate each other, and their physical condition is worse than a day.
How will the two elderly people who have no children under their knees support each other and accompany each other through the last part of the road?
It can be said that the two grandmothers have been breaking the norm all their lives, they are not afraid of the eyes of others, and they are brave enough to live themselves.
The sweetness of love
Shi Jun really did not expect that the love between the two grandmothers would be so sweet.
On an ordinary morning in 1947, Terri and Patty met in an ice rink. Terri was 18 and Patty was 22, and they were both Canadian.
Remembering the scene when they first met, they felt as if they had passed two lifetimes, and it was as if it was just yesterday.
Patty said, "I don't know what's going on, but that's how it happened." ”
From meeting each other to falling in love, everything is natural.
At the ice rink, Patisa gives Terri a note, and Terri hurried to find a street lamp, and she reads the gentle confession of her lover.
"I've read a lot of books, but I've never seen a woman fall in love with another woman, and I hope you feel the same way about me."
Wow, what a sweet confession.
Before Patty and Terri confessed, they also tried to socialize with boys. Patti almost got married when she was 18 years old, but the three boys she was engaged to or associated with died one after another.
Strange things kept going, and Terri's response was like a flirt, "Patty, you are destined to be with me." ”
Once, a sandstorm blew up, and two people kissed in the yellow sandy streets, because only in such weather would they not be seen by pedestrians on the road.
In 1946, Terri came from Canada to Chicago, USA, to play in the Women's Professional Baseball League, and Patty followed her to settle in Chicago in July 1950.
The two have lived here for decades, and every small object in the house is their sweet memory.
Hearing a nice love song, Patty will hold Terri's hand tightly and give her a look of affirmation, such a look is true love is not wrong.
After Terri retired from the army, they found a job in a design company together, and they worked as colleagues for 26 years, going to work together every day and leaving work together.
Some people say that the longest confession of affection is companionship.
From the bits and pieces of the documentary, we see the two grandmothers from the glory of the wind, accompanied by each other's white heads.
In the second half of the documentary, in order to treat Terry's illness, they have to leave the home where they have lived for many years. When they moved, their love letters were found in a pile of debris.
The last signatures of all the letters were torn off because they didn't want anyone to grab hold of it.
All the love letters were torn off by the byline
Time flies, and when Patty reads this love letter again, the tenderness and sweetness in it are even more unabated than it was then.
"Honey, with you by your side, this is a night in heaven. We wandered silently through the moonlight path, and when you smiled and called my name, a sense of happiness welled up in my heart. Time flies, we walk hand in hand, and I should remember this night firmly. ”
It's hard to come out
The vast majority of LGBT people have the same problem – it's hard to come out.
Making one's sexual orientation public requires not only great courage, but also the understanding and support of one's family and the tolerance of the overall social environment.
A while ago, Yang Liping's female disciple Shui Yue and her same-sex lover EMMA held a wedding, the two brides kissed excitedly, the two fathers hugged deeply, and got the blessings of many netizens on Weibo, we are pleased with today's tolerant environment.
The reality in front of Patty and Terri was much more difficult.
In the United States in the late 1940s, the gay community had to be very careful, and this harsh, high-pressure situation continued until the late 1950s and early 1960s.
Police often raided bars where lesbians may have congregated, and many were arrested and jailed for it.
After each raid, they published the names and work units of the arrestees.
Some people lose their jobs as a result, some divorce, lose custody of their children, and even commit suicide when they can't stand it.
So Patty and Terri keep saying they're cousins and that they live together just to save rent in the big city.
They never dared to go to bars, and the status of American immigrants made them dare not make any mistakes, for fear of being repatriated to China.
The difficulty of coming out, in addition to the high-pressure policies of the environment, is also difficult to confess to your family.
Terri and her niece Diana are very close, like mother and daughter. At every important moment in Diana's life, Terri would accompany her.
But Diana said, "I didn't know they were gay until three years ago, and I felt like I was living in a lie for so many years." ”
When Terri was about to come out, she was so nervous that she couldn't say anything, "because she didn't want to lose her love." ”
Finally she uttered, "We're gay," and Diana cried out tremblingly, and she went up and hugged Aunt Terry and said something very brave.
"I don't care."
With such a sentence, Terry finally felt the burden on his shoulders and instantly unloaded.
But Terri's brother, Diana's father, was a man with severe homophobic tendencies, and he often said, "She (Terri) needs to get the black guys on the back burner so they can get back on track." ”
At the mention of this, Diana's heart was full of anger, "He said it many times, and he was not drunk when he said it, he was sober." ”
Patty's family is hardly seen in the film, and she has five brothers, all of whom have passed away except for her younger brother, Al.
When she talked about her intention to marry Terry, her brother Al said, "You can't do that, it will hurt our family." ”
Patty asked, "How did this hurt our family?" ”
The domineering Patti doesn't give in, "If we decide to get married, we'll get married, no matter what." ”
The beauty of rebellion
We can sum up Terry's life in one sentence: be the coolest baseball player and love the best people.
In 1943, during World War II, some players from the men's professional leagues in the United States also enlisted in the army, and the number of players became much smaller.
In order to attract attention and maintain the game, Philip Regley, the owner of the Chicago Cubs Club, "King of Candy", came up with the idea of organizing women to play professional baseball.
Terri, who grew up playing with her brother, was excavated by scouts and came to the United States. In 1946, Terry began her professional baseball career in Chicago, playing for the Peoria Red Wing for four years.
The 1992 film The Red Pink League depicts the story, starring Tom Hanks, Gina Davis, Madonna and others.
The film shows some strange past events: in the 1940s, female athletes had to go to etiquette school to learn makeup, wear short skirts when competing, skirts must be above 15 cm at the knee, long pants, and lipstick.
Because the action will be very intense when the race runs the base sprint, the female runners will inevitably be injured when they wear short skirts, and their legs are always blue and purple.
At first, the audience only wanted to see the hilarity, but they did not expect that the level of female players was super high: "There is a girl who steals the base 201 times a year, and no man can do it." ”
From all kinds of strange regulations, it can be seen that in the patriarchal society at that time, the status of women can be imagined.
But female baseball players were undoubtedly the feminist pioneers of that era, and the average woman would not show her face to play baseball.
Terri's heroic demeanor on the court is definitely not lost to any male athlete.
She even carried some autographed baseball photo cards with her and handed them out to young people who were curious about her.
She had the courage to do something different, and her whole life was full of rebellious beauty that was unconventional and worthy of respect.
Two tear points
Finally, Time Jun would like to mention the tear points of two films:
Look at us crying, in addition to their love stories, there are also lesbian partners' pension problems.
Birth, old age, illness and death are stages that everyone has to go through.
Terri had Parkinson's disease, her hands would be shaking, and Patty patiently served her throughout the day, helping her dress and taking care of the chores of life.
Both grandmothers did not forget to flirt and "sugar" in the ward.
Terri, who was in a wheelchair, asked, "Can you walk?" Patty, lying on her hospital bed, said, "I can't walk, I need a walker." ”
Terri said, "Then we're the perfect couple (because we can't go.) Patty replied to her: "We've always been the perfect couple. ”
Terri said, "When you can move, I'm going to treat you better." Patty replied, "You've always been very nice to me, you little beauty." ”
Terri trembled, squeezing her lover's hand with difficulty and giving her a deep kiss.
When you are finally dying of old age, no matter how close your lover is, there will be a moment of farewell, and the thought of this really makes people can't help but cry.
There is also a tear point, which is the moment when the two grandmothers are married.
After moving into a nursing home, they finally decided to have a wedding ceremony. On that day, they all changed into nice clothes, put on lipstick, and helped each other to appear in front of friends and family.
Terri and Patty, who had been with each other all their lives, finally put on their wedding rings, and Terri's hands trembled from Parkinson's disease, but their hands were still tightly clasped.
"I'm glad you finally stopped calling each other cousins, and you can finally call each other your beloved wives."
Patti followed the master of marriage and silently repeated the word "wife", a title that was seventy years late.
The wedding was simple but tearful.
Terri said, "I think love is love, it's the most important thing in the world. ”
The secret love between the two grandmothers spanning 70 years is sparkling and enduring in the long river of years.
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