Today I would like to share with you one of my recent and quite magical experiences.
You must have heard of a word called "wishful thinking," which is often used in our holiday wishes to friends and family.
But I recently discovered that "doing what you want" is real and happens every day. If you think of "good things", good things will happen; if you think of "bad things", bad things will happen.
I began to carefully observe and think about the cause of this matter is that I recently prepared for the joint examination at the end of the year, and every day is to hurry back to the message processing work when the nails ring, and when no one is looking for me, I will grasp the study. The other day, because there was too much work, I only saw less than one page of the book in 3 days. When I finally had time to review, my attention was interrupted, but my calculations kept being wrong. The left and right sides of the equation will be wrong, the two-digit addition, subtraction, multiplication and division will be wrong, and seeing that there are still half a math book that has not been brushed, my anxiety is getting heavier and heavier.
If it is only a math problem, it is not a big deal, but that afternoon I sent the manuscript fee to the writer, several consecutive people sent the wrong amount, and the name of the project marked with the fee was also written incorrectly; when doing cost accounting, when merging the cost table, it was also wrong, and was pointed out by the partner.
All the anxiety and grievances came pouring in, and I finally couldn't help but cry. I feel that I am simply the stupidest person in the world, how can I be so stupid, poor mathematics is not even as good as the level of primary school students, I hate myself.
After I cried to Tachibana about my depressed day, she said, "Don't label yourself as a poor arithmetic." "
I was suddenly woken up.
The reason why I am responsible for the business of cost accounting and collection of accounts is because the other partners agree that I am the most careful and the best at handling these trivial matters, and I am not at ease with others. In fact, I have been responsible for this part of the work for nearly 2 years, in addition to the daily statistics of Larry, there have been many events such as temporary budget reductions and cross-month settlements for customers, and I have hardly missed them. They are very impressed with the results of my work.
In other words, I am not really "very poor in arithmetic", but because I have labeled myself as "poor arithmetic" in the case of anxiety before the exam and frequent miscalculation of questions, I will also miscalculate the work that I have been doing well.
I said to myself, "You're just too tired". That day, I did not continue to review or continue to work, and I washed and slept early. When I woke up the next morning, it took me less than 2 hours to deal with the previous day's legacy, and I did the math problems that had been repeatedly wrong, and this time I didn't make a mistake.
If you think about it, it seems that some unintentional "heartbeat" of oneself will become a real reality at some point in the future.
The most impressive thing is that when I was in my freshman year, I visited Nanjing Deji Square with my roommate for the first time. There is no such luxurious shopping mall in my hometown, and my eyes are wide open when I first enter the door. But at that time, we were all poor students, and the only things we could afford were the cinema and restaurant on the 7th floor. When we took the escalator upstairs, I remember my roommate saying a sentence: "My dream in life is to come to Deji Plaza one day to consume, and I can buy it if I like it, without considering the price." "
I was extremely impressed by this statement. Last year, I went back to my alma mater with Liu Cheng to take pictures, and after going to Deji Square after the end, I said this sentence again (Liu Cheng's inner OS: you have to say it every time you come, I have listened to it dozens of times), and sighed: I can finally buy my favorite things here now without looking at the price.
In fact, it was only three years before graduating from college.
When I was in college, I first heard a symphony orchestra concert (I had only seen it on TV and online before), and I thought it would be nice to come and listen to it every year. Later, he moved across provinces several times, and each time he lived briefly in a city with an opera house where he could listen to concerts. Liu Cheng and I will listen to it at least once every 2 months (this year because of the epidemic can't go).
I used to envy the girls who danced ballet, thought they were so beautiful, and thought that one day I could do the same. When I first graduated, there was no ballet training institution in my city dedicated to teaching adults, and then I went to Guangzhou to start learning, and then I became addicted. After more than a year, the "rock-solid" super hard body has actually become much softer through soft opening. When I went to take a souvenir photo on the first anniversary of my marriage, I was asked by the makeup artist's sister, "Are you learning to dance?" "
For example, when I just graduated from a central enterprise, I thought "I must leave here" in the first week of my employment, and finally resigned less than 2 years later.
After experiencing two feelings that did not go well, he still firmly believed that "I will meet someone who really loves me", and finally found that Liu Cheng, who was a classmate from middle and high school but has not spoken much, is now married for more than 5 years and a half, and the daily chat is sweet and toothless. And he was really, as I expected, "two people independent and accomplished with each other" as I expected. He helped me develop a variety of websites, plug-ins, and mini programs, so that my new media public relations business can differentiate among friends.
In my senior year, I failed in graduate school, but I was not willing to feel that my student career could not end here, and finally I got the pre-admission of Peking University Guanghua when I applied for an MBA this year.
……
What if you think about it from another angle?
"Deji's stuff is too expensive, I can't afford it in my lifetime anyway, I'll just take a look." Maybe I really can't afford it forever.
"Because the school concert is free, I can only listen to it, and after graduating with a ticket of several hundred yuan, it is estimated that I will not have the opportunity to go." Maybe senior year will be my last chance to listen to a concert.
"Your body is too stiff, the sitting body is flexed forward at -8cm every time, how can you learn ballet?" People look good and have nothing to do with you. "Maybe I'm still round-shouldered and hunched over, bothered by my posture problems.
"Don't think about the ones that don't. You see everyone comes here to work, who doesn't work for decades until retirement? Besides, you are no longer a fresh graduate, what can you do when you resign? "Maybe you won't know me who wrote this.
"Men don't have a good thing, and I don't believe in love anymore." Maybe I'm still single.
"After reviewing for so long, and spending a lot of money to report that the tutoring class was not admitted, you should have a little X number for yourself." Maybe you have a very average IQ, undergraduate school and experience are already the peak of your life. "Maybe Peking University has nothing to do with me for the rest of my life."
It was as if, after I labeled myself a "poor arithmetic," my computing power suddenly seemed to become "inferior to that of a schoolboy," and even calculations that were hardly wrong on a daily basis were frequently wrong.
It's really scary.
Looking back at the things in our lives that we don't think we're doing well enough, you see, are a lot of them subtly labeling ourselves negatively?
"I'm so ordinary, no one must like it." Boys/girls both love funny souls. "So stay single.
"Too many people are competing for civil service, and I certainly won't be able to pass the exam." So I didn't go ashore for many years.
"I can't find a better place to go when I leave my job." So I've been doing work I don't like.
You feel like you're not doing something because you're not good enough, but in fact, the reason for failure is that you "think" you're not good enough, not "in fact" you're not good enough.
And this lack of confidence will migrate. For example, I always miscalculated the day, see where I am not happy, feel that my skin is so poor (some time ago the pressure is too much acne) so ugly, I don't have the face to go out to see people; I think because of the ugly, so my husband does not love me, although Liu Cheng also told me about the baby noon noon before the lunch break; I think that today I sent the wrong money, even if I don't say anything, the partner will blame me in the bottom of my heart. Oh my God how I failed so badly.
But when I wake up, I think this idea is really ridiculous - but just miscalculated this little thing, how can I play so much inside?
I've found that there's a magic trick that when you're confident, there's almost nothing you can't do (or if you really don't do it, you'll selectively "not see" failure); but when you have self-doubt and feel like you're "not doing it well," there's a high probability that you really can't do it well, and failure further reinforces the impression that "I'm incompetent."
This is the magical opportunity I want to share with you this year – "Doing what you want".
Don't underestimate the role of psychological cues, maybe everything you do is affected by it.
From now on, try not to deny yourself. When the thought "I can't do it" or "I can't do it" arises, turn it into "I can do it."
If someone says something negative about you, even if it is a very close person, if you are not good at refuting it on the surface, you must reject it in your heart. Tell yourself "Don't listen to him, I can do it, he said blindly." "
At the same time, if you have small expectations for the future, let it take root. Don't kill it, don't feel like you can't do it, so you're not qualified to think about it. My favorite B station up owner is Uncle Ai, after a day of work, tired lying in bed to see him talk about the mansion, I feel that I am full of motivation to make money again.
May everyone be able to "do what they want"