In the winter of 1982, the north wind whistled and the clouds were thick, and the suburbs of Shanghai were particularly cold that day. A funeral procession was slowly marching, with only a dozen people in the procession, no wreaths, no paper money flying in the sky, and no earth-shattering cries.
In the procession, some people wept silently, and some people had sad faces. Sadness weighed down on their hearts like clouds in the sky, but they all kept extremely quiet, just because this was Su Qing's last wish.
She once said to her children: "My life is already lively enough, I just want to leave quietly and quietly!" ”
In accordance with her last wishes, the children informed only a few close friends, did not set up a spiritual hall, did not raise mourning, and was hastily buried the next day. The burial process is simple, and in just a few minutes, the funeral is completed. After that, everything returned to dust and earth, as if she had never been...
Figure | Su Qing
<h1 class = "pgc-h-center-line" > lucky and unhappy childhood</h1>
One day in 1914, in a family of scholars for generations in Yinxian County, Ningbo, Zhejiang, a beautiful little baby girl was born, looking at her cute little face and grandfather's face of doting.
Her grandfather, who was full of poetry, named her "Heyi", and the character "Yunzhuang", that is, "LuanFeng and Ming, there are phoenixes to yi". The two words "Heyi" are full of her grandfather's love and blessing for her. As an adult, she changed her name to "Su Qing" because of her writing.
But her birth did not attract much attention from her parents, her father was eager to study in the United States, and her mother was also a new-age woman, who immediately returned to the normal school where she had worked after giving birth, and Xiao Heyi, who had no one to take care of, was sent to her grandmother's house for foster care.
Her grandfather's family was a solid family, her grandfather had died, and her grandmother was very fond of her, so that this child who did not care about her mother and father had a carefree childhood.
Childhood is an important period for the cultivation of a person's personality, because of the favor of her grandmother, Su Qing has developed a straightforward and sincere personality. Later, she once said in "her own article": "My ideal of men and women and other people should be straight, frank, simple, generous, happy, enthusiastic", she lived into her ideal person, straightforward and frank, but the cruel reality makes her unable to really be happy.
Her childhood was sprinkled with sunshine because of her grandmother's pampering. Until the age of six, when her mother took her back to her home, all luck came to an abrupt end, and the clouds began to hang over her youth.
My father was doing business in Shanghai at that time, making a lot of money, and then developed the habit of spending days and drinking, eating, drinking and gambling. The mother was weak and relentful, blindly forbearing. Living day by day in her father's wayward nonsense and her mother's careful tolerance, she felt extremely depressed. She wanted to escape, she wanted to run away from home, but the heavens and the earth were so big, besides here, where else could she stay?
It is said that in everyone's marriage, there are shadows of parents. Indeed, the marriage of her parents has given her a great influence on her future married life, and the discord of her marriage may have long been doomed.
In the year she graduated from elementary school, her father died of illness in grief and anger due to the failure of investment, and since then, the family has fallen into the middle of the road. Her mother had to take her and her brother to survive.
Figure | Su Qing's father (Gengzhi international student)
<h1 class= "pgc-h-center-line" > unfaithful love</h1>
In the old days, the usual way to save a poor family was to set up a family affair for her daughter, and she could not escape her fate.
Her mother made a marriage contract for her, and the other party was a relatively wealthy family, and the boy's name was Li Qinhou. Since then, her tuition fees have been settled, and she has been successfully admitted to the Department of Foreign Languages of Nanjing Central University after graduating from high school. At the same time, Li Qinhou was also admitted to the law department of Soochow University in Shanghai.
After entering the university, Su Qing, because of her youthful beauty, outstanding talent, and many suitors behind her, was known as the "Empress of Ningbo". The news reached the ears of the Li family, who were a little uneasy, afraid that the colorful university life would make Su Qing repent of marriage, so they forced them to get married as soon as possible.
21-year-old Su Qing walked into the palace of marriage, she thought it was the beginning of happiness, but unexpectedly it was the source of the nightmare.
On the day of the wedding, she saw her husband flirting with a woman dressed in silver through the gap in the curtain of the palanquin at the wedding, and she knew afterwards that the woman was her husband's widowed cousin.
This scene made her unforgettable, but she inherited the hidden forbearance in her mother's personality, and she also hid it, thinking that she would be able to save her husband's heart by being virtuous and generous after marriage. But this is not the case, and after marriage, he has intensified. Li Qinhou often ran to his cousin's house at night and sang "The Merry Widow" together.
She was persuaded by the school to quit because of her pregnancy, lost the opportunity to continue her studies, broke her dream of becoming a diplomat, and truly became a fertility tool for the Li family. Within a few years of marriage, she gave birth to four daughters and a son, two of whom died tragically.
However, the continuous birth did not bring her the joy of children around her knees. Because the first few births were daughters, the patriarchal in-laws were very disgusted with her.
The pain of childbirth, the cold eyes of the mother-in-law, the difficulty of the sister-in-law, coupled with the indifference of her husband, Su Qing lived in pain all day. She was sad, regretful, and angry, but in this moment of alternating old and new ideas, traditional ideas finally bound her, and she never thought of resisting.
If it weren't for her husband's slap, perhaps she would have lived so painfully and cowardly.
After Su Qing and her husband moved to Shanghai, Li Qinhou's law firm faced closure due to poor management. At this time, there was no rice in the house, Su Qing asked him for living expenses to buy rice, but he did not expect to exchange it for a slap from Li Qinhou, and shouted at her like a madman: "You are also an intellectual, you can make money yourself." ”
This slap completely woke up Su Qing, and also made the talented woman Su Qing. Yes, she is also an intellectual woman, why should she be so condescending, and all the concessions still cannot be exchanged for a dignified life.
Maugham once wrote in The Yoke of Human Nature: "Of course, man cannot pursue wealth, but he must have a life sufficient to maintain dignity." ”
So Su Qing ended the marriage, got out of the house, and left the home where she had lived for ten years but only had humiliating memories.
She later wrote in Ten Years of Marriage:
"From the earliest day of marriage, each other has worn each other's feelings bit by bit. Now everyone is suffering, it has been ten years, ten years of time! Even the most beautiful flowers will fade their color, layer by layer on the dust of life, gray, old, and gradually lose their former vividness and vitality. ”
< h1 class="pgc-h-center-line" > peak</h1>
In the time after leaving Li Qin, she had nothing, and her life was extremely difficult, and it was really difficult to rely on the five yuan fee for that article. And many times the manuscript fee will be delayed, and she lives every day under the scorch of waiting for the rice to be cooked.
At that time, in order to earn more money, Su Qing wrote day and night. She once said in her memoirs:
"During the day, I led two children to write articles at night, and the fee ranged from 20 to 30 yuan in a thousand words, and I often wrote alone under the lamp until midnight. The summer night was sweltering, I was sweating, and while writing articles, I gently fanned the children, otherwise they would wake up from sleep, interrupt my thoughts, and when I finished writing, it would be five changes. ”
Napoleon said: "The most difficult time is when we are not far from success." "Just when she was at her most difficult, she met the noble man of this life, Chen Gongbo.
Su Qing published a relatively sharp article in the journal "Ancient and Modern", "On Divorce", which was seen by Chen Gongbo, who was the mayor of Shanghai under the puppet government at the time, and was very appreciated.
Because of Chen Gongbo's appreciation, Su Qing was able to enter the government work, and Chen originally wanted Su Qing to be his retinue secretary, but for various reasons, she only became a municipal government commissioner. After that, she often participated in the cultural activities of the Wang puppet government and began to be active in the literary circles in Shanghai.
At the same time, Su Qing's literary path has become smoother and smoother, and "Ten Years of Marriage" has begun to be serialized in the magazine "Wind and Rain Talk". Her path in life seemed smoother and smoother.
Figure | Su Qing's book "Ten Years of Marriage"
"Ten Years of Marriage" records her married life with Li Qin in the next ten years, and its true writing and unique thinking make it a marriage apocalypse for people at that time. Its publication caused a sensation, people rushed to buy, and for a time Luoyang paper was expensive. The book was also reprinted in one edition, and a total of 36 editions were printed, which became a miracle at that time, and even Zhang Ailing's book was far from this.
Therefore, Zhang Ailing also said: "Comparing me with Bingxin and Bai Wei, I really can't be proud of them, only compared with Su Qing, I am willing." ”
With "Ten Years of Marriage", she was able to call Zhang Ailing and the double wall of the Shanghai literary scene, becoming the most famous and wealthiest female writer at that time, and she no longer had to worry about her livelihood.
Later, with the help of Chen Gongbo and his wife, Su Qing founded the "Heaven and Earth Monthly". Zhou Zuoren, Hu Lancheng, Zhang Ailing, Liu Yusheng and many other literary and art circles at that time wrote for this magazine, and the circulation of Tiandi magazine increased steadily.
She holds several positions, as an author, as an editor, as a publisher, and sometimes even as a designer, distributor, and shipping, and is busy every day, like a spinning top at high speed.
Someone asked her, "Why do you make yourself work so hard?" ”
She replied, "Because I live the most steadily on my own." ”
She realized the truth that many women in today's society do not realize - only by themselves, life is the most practical. The economic base determines the superstructure, and in the family, the economic foundation also determines the status of the family, which cannot be economically independent, can never be independent in personality, and cannot enjoy a dignified life.
Her life is busy and fulfilling, her shadow appears at various social events, and her wealth is getting stronger. The little woman who was once cowardly, now finally raised her head, stood up her chest, lived on her own, and lived for herself, and her life reached its peak at this time.
Figure | Su Qing student photo
<h1 class= "pgc-h-center-line" > her and the men around her</h1>
Although Su Qing is divorced, she is beautiful and talented, and there will be no lack of men around her.
When she was divorced, she wrote day and night to survive, and overwork caused her to develop tuberculosis. With the medical level at that time, suffering from tuberculosis was undoubtedly a death sentence. But a doctor named Su Zengxiang has been with her, helping her treat her illness and encouraging her to live bravely. I don't know if it was his reason, Su Qing really survived, cured the disease, and her life was getting better and better.
Another important man, Chen Gongbo, is the noble man of her life. Her ambiguity with him, no one knows the specifics. But it is said that Chen Gongbo once gave her a cheque booklet from the Bank of Reconstruction, each of which was signed and sealed, and could be cashed out just by waiting for her to fill in the numbers. In the later publication of "Ten Years of Continued Marriage", she said of Chen Gongbo's death:
"I recall the drunken green night, he was so bold and sincere, full of prosperity, and suddenly became a dream. Is life so unpredictable? His life was unfortunate, now everything has passed, the past is counted, the sadness of history is endless. There was a deep thought between the lines.
Figure | Traitor Chen Gongbo
There is also a man who must not be mentioned - Jiang Gui, whose real name is Wang Yijian, was a general under Tang Enbo during the War of Resistance Against Japanese Aggression, and met Su Qing during his time in Shanghai, and the two were too close to each other. Later, Jiang Gui came to Taiwan, and after failing to do business, he also made a living from literature, and wrote the novella "Three Women's Yan". The book reads: "For Su Bai, to be honest, I have gradually become fascinated. She is a dish of green vegetables from the nanjing puppet house Chen, but it is my mountain treasure and seafood. The Su Bai in the text is Su Qing, and Chen is Chen Gongbo.
Before introducing Hu Lancheng to Zhang Ailing, Su Qing had already walked very close to Hu Lancheng. In the article "Talking about Su Qing", Hu once described Su Qing reading under the lamp: "But when reading and writing, in the cold light of the table lamp without a cover, the side of (Su Qing) was half dark. Her beauty is a new kind of maturity and perfection, and it is so quiet and lively, like the red beads of the heavenly bamboo next to the candle. Such a beautiful description, no one can say that there is no ambiguity between them.
Su Qing did not shy away from maneuvering among many men, and she became the public enemy of women. But all the men were very good to her, but none of them wanted to stay for her. She lives such a lively and lonely life...
< h1 class= "pgc-h-center-line" > bleak evening scene</h1>
After liberation, the crowd that once surrounded her dispersed, the light that had once been there was no longer there, and she fell from the noisy sky into the cold underground and began an ordinary life.
She was assigned to a theater as an editor, and later became popular for adapting "Qu Yuan", setting a record of more than 300 consecutive performances. She once again proved her strength with words, but at this time it was no longer the great Shanghai it once was. Due to the complicated historical problems, she did not rise again, but fell silent. During this time, he was also imprisoned, and after his release, his life became more difficult, all of which made this woman who was once like the Iron Lady begin to be depressed and lonely.
After retirement, with a monthly pension of 43 yuan, he lived in a ten-square-meter cottage with his divorced daughter and grandson. The ups and downs of her life have dealt a great blow to her spirit and body, and the pain has seriously eroded her body. She once wrote to a friend: "The period of life, grass and trees in autumn, flowers and people who do not know that they are not far away." ”
On December 7, 1982, Su Qing suddenly vomited blood and died, and there was no one around at this time. A generation of talented women who were once red on the beach passed away in such a cold and cold way.
Figure | Su Qing in his later years
Su Qing said in "Ten Years of Continued Marriage": "If a woman can marry such a husband, and the red sleeves add incense to accompany the reading, can the joy of the boudoir be comparable to that of Yi Anjushi and Zhao Mingcheng?" The love between Yi Anju Shi Qinser and Ming, she did not get it in her life, but copied the bleak old age of Yi An Jushi's "miserable and miserable relatives".
Life is so magical, the more you want, the more you can't get it, and you don't have the heart to insert willows, but it has achieved a brilliant period of hers.
She was like fireworks in the end, and she did not waste this life.
Text | First brew