In the face of this friendship, I surrendered.
When you read this article, who was the first face that came to mind?
and
How long has it been since the last time I contacted him?
Chatting with my mother a few days ago, she suddenly said to me: "Your xxx classmate is going to get married on National Day..." After hearing this sentence, I was subconsciously stunned and felt very strange, who is this xxx classmate? Elementary school classmates? Junior high school classmates? I didn't have any impression, and it was strange how my mother remembered this classmate.
I smiled and asked, "Who is XXX, are you mistaken?" ”
"You forgot, your elementary school classmate, her grandmother always changed the pattern to comb her hair, when you were a child, you always thought that the hair I combed for you was not good, you often went to her house to play, and let her grandmother braid you." 」
I gradually had a vague shadow in my mind, I couldn't see her face clearly, only her braided braids and all kinds of hairpins. I tried to think back to other things about her, but I really couldn't.
This missing memory made me a little nervous, I had a good relationship with her when I was a child, but now I can't even forget what the parents are like or even what their names are. After going to junior high school, we never met again, not in the same school, no QQ, no WeChat, no phone, so it has been more than ten years, and she probably can't remember me. Trying to find some reasons for myself, I felt a little relieved to think of it.
When I was in middle school, I had two very good friends, and when I mentioned them before, I could always say "my girlfriend", but now I can only say "my former classmate", and now when others ask me about them, I can only answer "I haven't been in touch for a long time, and I don't know." "Last winter vacation home and they had a dinner, because they often met as if there was no end to the topic, spitting out their respective lives, I seemed to be an outsider, sitting quietly on the opposite side, with a polite smile on my face, in fact, I was helpless, I couldn't integrate into their topic, I could only reluctantly echo their emotions. In this way, we have changed from being speechless to having nothing to say, from inseparable good friends to being liked friends in the circle of friends.
It seems that every time after a while, if you do not take the initiative to recall some friends who have been around for a long time, the brain will automatically clear him, and the more ancient the friendship, the more it needs to be carefully maintained, and it is not an easy thing to manage a friendship.
In the current environment, as you get older, it is perfectly normal to drift away from your friends, there are always some friends who will slowly become unfamiliar because of different life trajectories, and distance and time are the enemies that can never be defeated in this friendship.
"Parting Ways"
At the last dinner before the graduation of the senior year, the class teacher said, "Take a good look at this group of guys around you, next time there will be no time for all the people to arrive." ”
With successive classes of graduates, the class teacher knows too well what "graduation" means.
When the dinner is around, the atmosphere is lively, it seems that they have not yet experienced the words said by the class teacher, and the concept of "goodbye" is to watch the roommates empty the dormitories one by one and submit the refund slip to the mother of the building. "I'm leaving, and I'll have to get together later." "Mm-hmm, all the way safe!" The roommates dragged their luggage out of the dormitory door and went their separate ways to the next stage of their lives.
Roommate A went to England, Roommate B returned to Nanjing, and Roommate C stayed in Beijing. They also each had new roommates.
When I graduated from the red carpet, my roommate B interned in Nanjing, and it was a pity that the four of us in the dormitory could not walk the red carpet together.
When I took the group photo of the bachelor's uniform, because of the inevitable distance problem, there was one less last group photo of the four of us.
Although I said that I would often get together in the future, I realized that it was true that "next time there will be no time for all the staff to arrive."
Our dormitory has always had such an agreement: if you do not return to the dormitory at more than 10 o'clock in the evening, you must report your whereabouts in the dormitory group, and you must share the itinerary when you take a taxi back.
After that dinner, we reported each other's whereabouts in the group as usual.
But this is also the last time we will update the itinerary in real time in the group, because this agreement does not make sense anymore.
There's also an unwritten convention in our dorm: every year on our birthday we give each other gifts. More than a month later is the birthday of roommate A, at this time of the year, the other three people in our dormitory will start to quietly discuss with each other what gift to give her, yesterday when I was preparing to pick out a gift for her, I found that this time there was no way to send it in person, only to send it to her by courier, but suddenly realized that no, she is now in the UK.
The distance is really annoying, objective existence, and there is no way to change.
"I'll make a date next time"
"I'm sorry, I still have a job on the weekend, so I'll make an appointment next time."
"It's okay to understand, you're quite busy, maybe I'm too busy."
I can't count how many times I've had such a conversation with her, and the three words "I'm sorry" were never right before that wouldn't have come out of either of us.
"You are really too eh, do you regard me as a friend, next time say thank you, sorry and such words, let's break off the relationship." 」 She said deliberately with a shook of her face. It was the only "angry words" she had ever said to me before, and those polite words really didn't appear between us since then until after I worked.
She is my best friend in high school, any happy things, stupid things are shared together, sad things, difficult troubles are also solved together, is often squeezed into a bed to sleep a good girlfriend, most remember the night before each trip will be excited to sleep, twitter some of the no, you can chat until dawn.
There are also people who have been trying to keep in touch with her, but some of the circle of friends she sent I began to understand, and worse, I have not clicked on the chat box with her for a long time, is my desire to understand and share taken away by time?
Where is my time spent? Squeezing the subway, catching buses, and never-ending work, overtime?
When I watched a movie with her, I would be forced to stop because of a sudden phone call, because I had to change my plan urgently, so I had to go home early and turn on the computer, leaving her alone in the movie theater. After that, several times when I came out with her, I would take the computer with me, just in case I came to work, I would throw her down alone.
Some time ago to go on a business trip, just right with her time, I estimated that the end of the activity must have a meal together, the meal is indeed on the appointment, but on the way to the restaurant with her, from the bottom of the pot to the flameout, my WeChat message has not stopped, from this group to that group, there is no end to the message, there is a moment to let WeChat disappear from this world, I want to smash the phone, but I can only think about it.
I felt so guilty that I had asked her out to dinner, but it turned out to be letting her watch me work. "I'm sorry, I didn't expect so many things..." "It's okay, I understand, you don't forget to eat, the dishes are going to be cold."
If I had 48 hours a day, I would be able to spend half my time at work and half my life. It's ridiculous to say, but if that were the case, I guess I would have spent most of my time at work.
Time is always running out, mostly subjective, but hard to change.
The only conversations have occurred on WeChat, it has always been a verbal agreement, very few have been implemented in action, coupled with the distance and time both set up obstacles, sorry, in the face of this friendship, I surrendered.
Constantly growing and constantly compromising, there may be some friends who can only accompany you through one of the parts of life, if you feel regrets, do not hesitate to reconnect. Friendship is a two-way street, especially when you have had one or two good friends at each stage, you will be more determined to be the friend you want to keep for the rest of your life, and remember to spend time and energy on people who are worth making you pay.
What an envy of those who manage their friendships well!
Image source
Visual China
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