Since ancient times, love has been a difficult problem to solve for thousands of years, especially when facing the end of the relationship, even a rational person cannot avoid the ups and downs of emotions. Therefore, the process of breaking up is often full of disputes, pain, twists and turns, and uncertainties, and all kinds of real and embarrassing negative reactions make it more difficult to "get together and disperse". In particular, in Asian societies, where "academic performance" is more important than "emotional response", many people have not received "correct" emotional education since childhood, resulting in these people being unable to make good mental adjustments in real time when facing emotional breakdown, allowing emotions such as heartbreak, anger, and unwillingness to overwhelm themselves, and eventually lead to irreparable tragedy. In order to avoid regrets, it is important to have "negotiation skills" that can protect yourself when facing a relationship that is about to end. In this article, we will discuss how to avoid falling into a dangerous situation when "talking about a breakup" from a psychological and practical point of view.
Breakup Negotiation Tip 01: Choose a Time and Place
First of all, the place and time of the breakup are particularly important, please avoid choosing remote or confined spaces, especially if you are not sure about the emotional state of the other party, it is best to have a conversation in a public place such as a coffee shop, restaurant, etc., which can not only maintain the calm of both parties, but also provide security for yourself. In addition, it is better to choose to have a conversation during the day than at night, because people are more rational during the day than at night, and there are relatively more crowds during the day, and there are more conditions around them that can act as a protective barrier, so as not to put themselves in a situation where "no one can call for help".
Breakup Negotiation Tip 02: Avoid exacerbating emotions
Breakups are emotionally sensitive moments, and it's important to avoid using harsh, accusatory, or provocative language in conversations. Stating the reasons for the decision to break up calmly and rationally, and expressing respect for the future of each other's lives, can reduce the possibility of over-"overreacting" and avoid the conversation falling into an emotional out-of-control situation. However, when the other person starts to feel agitated, stay calm and try to shift the conversation moderately, focusing on the facts and the future rather than the pain of the past.
Breakup Negotiation Tip 03: Set Clear Boundaries
In breakup negotiations, boundaries are established to ensure that the relationship is not severed by dependence or confusion, and these boundaries should include emotional distance, the distribution of material possessions, and various agreements in life. A proper sense of "boundary" is polite but not indifferent, which can not only help the "broken partner" re-establish self-worth, but also make the life of both parties after the breakup more clear and controllable, and reduce the possibility of subsequent entanglement. Remember, some of the "love murder cases" on the social news are related to "excessive intimacy", if you have decided to separate from the other party, do not give too many responses, which is easy to make the other party have emotional misunderstandings and wrong expectations, thinking that the two still have the possibility of going on.
Breakup Negotiation Tip 04: Stay Rational and Calm
Regardless of the other person's reaction, the most important thing is to stay calm. When emotions run high or the situation starts to spiral out of control, avoid responding immediately, give the other person and yourself time to gather your thoughts, and make sure you can think through before making any decisions or saying anything. Breakup negotiations are a process, not a one-off conversation, so allowing yourself to pause the conversation if necessary and wait for both parties to calm down before resuming the discussion can help avoid misunderstandings or heated arguments.
Breakup Negotiation Tip 05: Seek outside help
If the other party has the characteristics of a "terrorist", such as often showing extreme emotions or showing violent tendencies in the past, it is strongly recommended to invite a "trusted third party" to participate in the negotiation process when discussing the breakup. Seeking the intervention of a third party is an effective way to protect yourself, whether it is a mutual acquaintance, family member, or even a professional emotional counsellor or lawyer. Not only can they provide you with real-time emotional support, but they can also regulate the emotions of both parties during the conversation, ensuring that the communication process does not turn into dangerous conflicts.
Breakup Negotiation Tip 06: Set up guards
In breakup negotiations, physical and mental safety must come first. If you find that the other party is prone to "threatening behavior" or irrational behavior every time you talk about relationship problems, then it is recommended that you set up necessary protective measures in advance when discussing the breakup, such as informing your relatives and friends of the other party's emotional problems in advance, and informing them of your appointment location on the day you decide to discuss the breakup, or asking your relatives and friends to wait nearby, setting up a shortcut key on your mobile phone, etc. Of course, protecting oneself is not limited to physical defense, but also includes preventing psychological harm such as emotional blackmail and verbal violence. In short, don't let yourself fall into the maelstrom of danger, and if anything goes wrong, end the conversation decisively and seek protection in time.
"Breaking up" is undoubtedly a difficult and heartbreaking process, in order to be able to get together with the person you once loved and avoid being coerced by a terrifying lover, through the above 6 negotiation skills, you may be able to deal with the breakup rationally and peacefully on the premise of maintaining the dignity and smoothness of the conversation. In any case, protecting yourself is the first principle, as long as you find that the situation is slightly wrong, please do not deny your sixth sense, do not tolerate and soft-hearted, it is very important to seek external help in a timely manner, and the heart of others is indispensable, and a little more "heart eye" may be the key to "save your life".