In life, some husbands and wives betray and hurt not only their wives, but also their children.
After one of the parents betrays the marriage and divorces, the impact on the child is great, and at the same time, such an ending also causes great harm to the child.
I have seen a lot of self-reports from children who have suffered a blow to their hearts on the Internet, and it is really distressing to watch, why are children so painful?
Because they knew that their father or mother had betrayed their marriage, and finally abandoned them and their mother for the sake of a third party outside.
So, how can we minimize the harm to our children?
Let's talk about extramarital affairs and children's education: how to reduce the harm to children if a couple divorces due to an extramarital affair.
01
Be honest and give your child a truthful explanation
First of all, we need to understand that although children are small, they are also sentient. When there is a rift in the family, they are often keenly aware of the apocalypse of the atmosphere.
Therefore, no matter how much resentment there is between you, you can't hide it from your child, and you must tell your child the truth honestly.
So, before divorcing, we need to find a suitable time to sit down and talk to our children.
Say something to him, "Baby, Mom and Dad have decided to separate because of some emotional issues. But that doesn't mean we don't love you anymore. You will always be our child, and we will always love you and take care of you. ”
Teacher Tu Lei once said: "For children, the most important thing is a sense of security. And the source of security is the honesty and love of parents. ”
Yes, we must let our children know that although Mom and Dad are no longer together, their love for him will not change, so that they can feel at ease.
02
Protect your children and don't let them lose the love of their parents
After some parents get divorced, they will say things to their children that they shouldn't say, such as "you don't have a dad anymore" or "your dad betrayed me and is a bad man, he doesn't deserve to be your dad".
These words are like a bolt from the blue for children, and they will feel that they have lost one of their parents.
There are also some parents who do not allow their children to see the other parent after the divorce. To do so is a big mistake!
Children need the love and companionship of both parents. If we deprive our children of the right to see the other parent, we are destroying the image of their parents.
Children will be confused, they will be confused, they will think, "How did Dad (Mom) be so good before, but all of a sudden he became a bad person?" ”
They don't know who they should trust, and they even start to doubt themselves. If he is a boy and stands on his mother's side and denies his father, he may also feel that he is a man and a bad person; If she were a girl, then she might think that men are all bad and that she would have to stay away from men in the future.
This will not only affect the children's current physical and mental health, but also have a great impact on their future marriage.
Therefore, we need to protect our children's mental health and not let them feel that they have lost the love of their parents.
Even if we are divorced, we have to let our children know that Mom and Dad still love them, and that they still have a whole home – but the form of this home has changed.
Here, I would like to quote a marital sentiment expert to warn you: "Divorce is a matter between parents and has nothing to do with children. We want our children to know that they are innocent and that they should not be held responsible. ”
Yes, children are innocent, divorced or not, we want them to feel the love and warmth of their parents for them.
03
Correctly guide your children's worldview and make them believe that marriage can be happy
Divorce of parents is a huge blow to children, and they will lose faith in their marriage because of it. Therefore, we also need to tell them: "The failure of Mom and Dad's marriage does not mean that there is no happy married life in this world." ”
We can also tell our children stories of happy marriages so that they know that marriage can be happy. At the same time, you should also tell your children: "Your marriage can be happy, as long as you find the right person and manage your relationship with your heart, you can have a happy family." ”
In short, we want to give our children hope. Just because our marriage has failed, that doesn't mean our children's marriages have failed. Therefore, we should encourage our children to pursue their own happiness and believe in the beauty of love and marriage.
At the same time, we must also pay attention to our words and deeds, and must not slander the other party in front of our children, let alone use our children as a tool for revenge.
The stupidest thing a divorced parent can do is to take their child for themselves and make him hate someone with him.
You must know that the hostility between parents will not only make the child afraid and uneasy, produce a psychological burden, but also set a negative example for him and make actions that hurt family affection.
As a parent, loving your child means accompanying your child to grow up slowly, caring for him, warming him, respecting him, and educating him.
If you have to divorce, please minimize the damage to your children, because your divorce has already hurt your children a lot, please do not cause further harm to your children.
Finally, I would like to conclude today's article with one sentence: "Divorce is a matter for parents, but loving children is an eternal responsibility." ”
Whether our parents are divorced or not, we all have to love our children and fulfill our responsibilities as parents. I hope that every divorced parent can keep this sentence in mind and let their children grow up healthy and happy surrounded by love!