Before reading, I would like to remind you that this article is for reference and entertainment only, and it is not to be superstitious!
The Cobra Effect refers to actions taken in an attempt to solve a problem that inadvertently exacerbates the problem or leads to unintended negative consequences.
In colonial India, the British government, in order to reduce the number of cobras, decided to pay bounties to the public in exchange for the cobras killed. At first, this policy seemed to work, and the government received a large number of dead snakes. But it soon became clear that this actually motivated some people to start breeding cobras for bounty gains.
When the government realized the problem and abolished the bounty system, snake farmers would no longer be profitable, so large numbers of cobras were released into the wild, resulting in a surge in cobra populations and the problem became even worse.
The term has since been widely used to describe the failure of policymakers or managers to foresee the possible side effects of their actions, warning us that we need to design solutions that take into account all possible consequences, especially potential incentives, to avoid backfire.
As the saying goes, "Home and everything prospers".
A successful family is inseparable from the hard work and dedication of the male host.
In real life, many male hosts have various problems, which lead to tension or even breakdown of family relationships.
In these failed family cases, the role of the male protagonist is often crucial. Today, let's talk about the six major situations of the male host that may lead to family failure, and see if you have also been tricked.
In order to avoid these tragedies, we should always be vigilant and strive to be a responsible and responsible man. Only in this way can we create a harmonious and happy family environment together.
1. The "hands-off shopkeeper" type male protagonist
The ancients said: "It is easy to start a family and it is difficult to support a family", which is not only a description of the family's economic situation, but also a metaphor for the sense of responsibility of family members.
Some male hosts, even though they are handsome and successful in their careers, seem to have forgotten this teaching of the ancients and have become veritable "hands-off shopkeepers".
In "Dream of Red Mansions", Cao Xueqin once said: "Even if you are born with a good skin, your belly is reckless." This is an apt description of this kind of male protagonist.
They may be dressed in straight suits and go out glamorously, but they are often absent from the "battlefield" that belongs to them in the family. Either busy socializing, or immersed in their own world, ignoring household chores, as if family is just a supporting role in their lives.
This attitude is quite similar to the "Sisyphus" in ancient Greek mythology. Sisyphus, punished for deceiving the gods, was forced to constantly push the boulder up to the top of the mountain, then watch it roll down the foothills, and so on.
And the "hands-off shopkeeper" type male protagonist is also like an endless game of pushing stones, they may be able to achieve temporary success in their careers, but the absence and neglect in the family will eventually make them lose more.
There is a saying in China: "Family and everything prospers", and family harmony is inseparable from the joint efforts of every family member.
The male protagonists should understand that the family is not a hotel, but a warm harbor that needs to be operated and maintained together.
Only when they truly integrate into the family and assume their due responsibilities can the family relationship become closer and the family feel real warmth and care.
In this fast-paced, high-pressure society, we need to return to our families and cherish the time we spend with them.
The male protagonists may wish to slow down, spend more time with their families, do more housework, and interpret the ancient poem with practical actions: "I wish to win the heart of one person, and the white head will not be separated." Only such a family can truly achieve "home and prosperity".
2. "Opinionated" male protagonist
Mr. Zhang is a middle-aged man with a successful career, and he is very confident in his aesthetics and decision-making. Recently, he decided to redecorate the living room of his home, opting for a very avant-garde and modern design. His wife and children, however, prefer a warmer and more traditional décor. Mr. Zhang sticks to his choice, believing that the avant-garde style is more expressive of his taste. As a result, after the renovation was completed, the family atmosphere became tense, both the wife and children felt uncomfortable, and the living room became a "cold zone" in the home, and few people wanted to stay there.
Mr. Zhang's stubbornness led to discord among family members. If he had listened more to his family, or at least sought a compromise, he might have avoided this situation.
The ancients said: "If you pass without changing, you are excessive." This is especially appropriate for those men who are stubborn and can't listen to other people's opinions.
They are like the fool in "The Fool Moves the Mountain", with firm belief and perseverance, but this persistence may not always be wise.
This kind of male protagonist often thinks very highly of himself and thinks that his decision is the most correct. They are like the "cyclops" in ancient Greek mythology, who only see what they want to see, but ignore the thoughts and feelings of their families.
This kind of obstinate approach is just like what is said in "Qi Min's Technique": "If you don't listen to the old man, you will suffer in front of you." In agriculture, this admonishes us to follow the advice of the experienced, and it applies equally to family life.
If the stubborn male owner does not listen to the opinions of his family, he will only end up in conflicts and strife in the family.
The modern Chinese writer Qian Zhongshu has portrayed similar characters in The Siege of the City, who are caught in a difficult situation because of their stubbornness and prejudices. This is just as the saying goes: "If you don't listen to the old man, you will suffer in front of you." "A stubborn man needs to learn to listen and understand his family's thoughts in order to avoid family conflicts.
Recall the wisdom of the ancients: "If you are a threesome, you must have my teacher." "Even in the small group of families, everyone has their own unique insights and wisdom.
If the man can let go of his stubbornness and listen to his family's opinions with an open mind, he may find new perspectives and solutions to problems.
3. "Indifferent and ruthless" male protagonist
In "Song of Long Hatred", between Emperor Tang Ming and Yang Guifei written by Bai Juyi, the deep emotion of "being a winged bird in heaven and being a branch in the earth" has become a good story that has been praised through the ages.
In reality, there are men who go against this affection, turning a blind eye to the emotional needs of their families and acting cold and ruthless.
This kind of male owner may be deeply influenced by the concept of "material supremacy" in modern society, believing that as long as sufficient material conditions are provided, it is the greatest support for the family. They may be busy with work all day long, pursuing higher positions and more wealth, but neglecting to communicate emotionally with their families. In their view, money and status are the only measures of success, while the feelings and needs of their families seem insignificant.
Even if the home is full of gold and silver treasures, it is difficult for people to feel true happiness without a warm and caring family environment. As the ancients said: "If there is a thousand gold, it is better to make a fortune every day; If you have a thousand skills, you might as well have a skill. This quote tells us that material satisfaction is important, but spiritual abundance and emotional support are equally indispensable.
There is a popular saying among the people: "Home and everything prospers". A harmonious and warm family is the harbor in everyone's heart.
The cold and ruthless man has turned this harbor into an icy palace.
They need to understand that the family is not only a material accumulation, but also an emotional exchange and spiritual comfort.
Only when they truly care about their families and are willing to listen to their voices can they create a loving and warm family environment.
Fourth, the "irritable and irritable" type male protagonist
In ancient legends, there is a story called "Removing the Three Evils Around the Circle". When Zhou was young, he was fierce and chivalrous, and he was a disaster in the township, but later the prodigal son turned back, reformed himself, and got rid of the "three evils" for the countryside, and has been famous since then. This story teaches us that irritability and irritability are not inherent in a person's personality, but can be changed through self-reflection and hard work.
In real life, some male protagonists are like unreformed Zhou Chu, with a violent personality and a little anger when something goes wrong. Their words were like cold arrows that went straight to the hearts of their families.
"Tao Te Ching" has a saying: "Heavy is light roots, quiet is restless." "Irritability and irritability are often due to inner insecurity and imbalance, and this kind of emotional behavior can make the family atmosphere tense and depressing.
Imagine a father who comes home from a bad job and lashes out at his family and speaks ill of him. His anger swept through the family like a storm, leaving them scared and upset. Such a scene is so heart-wrenching.
There have been many famous people throughout history who have faced similar dilemmas. Like the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates, his wife was a notoriously fierce woman, but he was always able to deal with it with peace of mind, resolving conflicts with wisdom and love. The story of Socrates teaches us that being irritable does not solve the problem, but only complicates it.
Returning to our theme, the "irritable" male protagonist needs to learn to control his emotions. They can learn from Socrates and resolve conflicts with wisdom and love, rather than letting anger get carried away. When something doesn't go your way, try taking a deep breath, stepping away from the scene for a while, or enlisting help from a friend to ease your mood.
Fifth, the "idle" type male protagonist
As the saying goes: "Diligence can make you rich, but laziness will make your family poor." This sentence embodies the wisdom of the ancients and the praise of hard work.
In real life, we always meet some male hosts who are idle all day long, not thinking about progress, as if the passage of time has nothing to do with them.
They may have a rich family background and lived a carefree life at first, but they do not know how to cherish and plan. As the ancients said, "Born in sorrow, die in peace." "An overly comfortable life tends to drain people's fighting spirit, make people indulge in pleasure, and forget the meaning of hard work and struggle.
The modern poet Wang Guozhen once said: "There is no mountain higher than a man, and there is no road longer than a foot." This sentence inspires us to move forward and continue to climb the heights of life. However, the "idle" male protagonist tends to stagnate, preferring to stay in place rather than try new possibilities.
Not only does this attitude deprive them of opportunities to grow, but it can also affect the entire family. Sitting and eating empty, no matter how thick the family is, it can't withstand a long time of profligacy.
When families are in trouble, they are often helpless because they have become accustomed to dependence and pleasure.
We should remember the teachings of the ancients: "Heaven is strong, and a gentleman is constantly striving for self-improvement." "Only by keeping working hard can we keep our families prosperous and happy. For the "idle" male protagonist, what they need is not only material wealth, but also spiritual awakening and growth.
Sixth, the "flowery" type male protagonist
The ancients said: "If there is 3,000 weak water, only take one scoop to drink." This poem shows the single-mindedness and persistence of the ancients in love.
In real life, it is not difficult for us to find that some male protagonists are "passionate" and unfaithful to marriage, which is also reflected in ancient and modern Chinese and foreign literary works.
They may be glamorous on the outside and successful in their careers, but they can't resist the temptation of the outside world. Seeking novelty and excitement outside of marriage seems to be a way for them to satisfy their desires.
They often neglect the responsibilities and responsibilities of the family, and forget the promises and vows they once made to their wives.
"Zengguang Xianwen" has a saying: "No one asks about the poor in the downtown area, and the rich have distant relatives in the mountains." Although this sentence refers to the warmth and coldness of human feelings, it can also be extended to mean that in the marriage relationship, whether poor or rich, one should adhere to the loyalty and responsibility to the family. And the behavior of the "flowery" male protagonist is undoubtedly a great irony of this sentence.
Their actions will not only hurt the feelings of their wives, but may also cause a devastating blow to the entire family. When a wife discovers her husband's betrayal, her heart will be deeply hurt and her trust will collapse in an instant. And for children, a broken family will also bring irreparable shortcomings to their growth.
In ancient China, there were also many stories and poems about marital fidelity. Such as Liu Lanzhi and Jiao Zhongqing in "Peacock Flying Southeast", they persevered for love, and finally both died in love, which has become a good story that has been praised through the ages. These stories tell us that true love requires perseverance and giving.
"If a person is not a sage, who can be without fault?" Everyone can make mistakes in life. The key is whether we recognize our mistakes in time and correct them.
I hope that every male host can become the guardian of the family and hold up a happy sky for the family with love and responsibility.
Some people will say: I won all, what should I do, can I change it?
Don't be discouraged, recognizing that your problems are the first step to change and that you are already on the right path. Each of the six conditions you mentioned can be changed through self-reflection and effort.
- In the case of "hands-off", you can start to participate in household chores and understand the daily functioning of the family, which will not only reduce the burden on the family, but also allow you to understand the value of the family more deeply.
- If you find yourself "stubborn", try to listen to your family members and learn to empathize and understand their needs and feelings.
- If you are acting "cold and unfeeling" towards your family, then from now on, pay more attention to their emotional needs and create some family activities from time to time to strengthen the relationship.
- If you are "irritable and irritable", learn to control your emotions, calm down when you encounter problems, and then communicate with your family.
- If you're the "loafaround" type, set some goals for yourself, whether it's at work or personal interests, to fill yourself up and bring more security to your family.
- If you are "passionate", then please re-examine your commitment to marriage and family, cherish the people around you, and don't let the impulse ruin long-term happiness.
Change is a gradual process, don't rush it. Every day, you will find that you and your family are slowly getting better.
Remember, family is the most precious treasure, and strive to be a better person for them and for yourself.