Material/ From a real interview (told by someone)
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The content and opinions / are original to the author
My name is Zhang Zhiwen, and in 1984, I was twenty-three years old and had just graduated from university.
I took the college entrance examination in the second year after the resumption of the college entrance examination and became one of the few college students at that time.
At that time, the whole village was proud of me, and they always told their children to learn from me, thinking that I was promising.
After graduating, I was assigned to return to the agricultural economic department of the province, and then I was sent to work in a poor county to receive training at the grassroots level. The main direction of work is to promote the development of aquaculture technology in the county, and at the same time to do research.
When I was only in my twenties, I was in the prime of my youth and came to a completely unfamiliar poor country, but in fact, I felt hesitation and loneliness in my heart that others could not understand.
Later, after working for a year, I found that the comrades in the county were quite friendly and simple, and most of them were also from the countryside, and they got along well with me.
But I was soon twenty-five years old, and I hadn't dealt with anyone yet.
When I was in college, there weren't many female classmates, and I was shy by nature, so I rarely talked or socialized with them.
Although I kept in touch with some of these classmates, they were all male classmates with whom I could talk, and none of them were female classmates.
Although the old father of the family is not very literate, he still tries to use all the words he knows to make up enough letters and send them to me, always asking me in the letters, baby, when will I find a daughter-in-law to come back.
When I saw my father's words, I smiled wryly, and just thought that this was something that had not been skimmed out of ten strokes.
Until one day, I went to a local party with several county leaders, which was a voluntary performance jointly sponsored by several dance groups from other counties, just to improve the cultural and entertainment life of the local people.
At that time, as a young gay man, I was supposed to sit in the front row, but I only felt that it was inappropriate to sit with the county leaders, so I sat at the edge of each second row.
It's a location that's very close to the backstage, so I can see how the dancers are on the stage and how they prepare.
I was surprised to find that a lesbian who looked to be about twenty-eight or nineteen years old looked at me from time to time, and there was a different meaning in her eyes.
I thought to myself, she is older than these female dancers, and she is probably the teacher of these female dancers.
However, the final result was still beyond my expectations, I heard someone call her, and I realized that she was the deputy head of a dance troupe, and this dance troupe should be quite formal and belong to a county-level dance troupe.
Then, to my surprise, she looked a little embarrassed, and finally walked up to me and asked me, "Comrade, can I borrow your scarf?" We need to perform. ”
Her voice is quite charming, mature, full of tenderness, and with some feminine softness and strength, the moment I heard it, my heart was almost like a glacier in February when it met an open flame, and it melted all at once.
When I was in college, I bought a plain white scarf that I used every winter until I came out to work.
Unexpectedly, there is now such a beautiful female dance troupe deputy director who wants to borrow this scarf from me.
I immediately smiled and said no problem, then untied my scarf and handed it to her.
She smiled at me and said she would give it back to me soon, and then she hurried back to her dancers, laughing with them, turning her head from time to time to look at me.
I could feel her undisguised shyness, which made my heart beat faster, and the feeling of heartbeat was indescribable.
However, I secretly told myself not to have these superfluous thoughts, it was possible, it was just my own feelings.
Because I guess she's a little older than me, such a beautiful lesbian, who has a position in the dance troupe, belongs to the leadership level, isn't she married yet, or doesn't she have a partner? This is unlikely.
But the next time, my mind was completely off the stage, and I always wondered if she still looked at me like that from time to time.
When it was their turn to perform, what I didn't expect was that she, the female deputy head who had borrowed a scarf from me just now, when she came to the stage, she had actually put on her dance performance costume, but she just put on a coat to keep out the cold.
And, she turned out to be the lead dancer.
When she really unfolded her wonderful posture and danced, I was completely stunned, because she danced so well, and her posture was vigorous, and at the same time she was soft, and the curves of her body were also quite beautiful.
I have been watching her dance, it is a feeling of fascination, and when she looks at me and sees my expression, she also has eye contact with me, as if she is in love with me, and each other can get spiritual satisfaction from each other.
However, I didn't see what kind of role my scarf played, because I didn't see her show that scarf all the while, and I thought to myself, didn't she just say that she wanted to borrow my scarf for performance? Why didn't you take it out?
I thought she was going to dance this scarf.
But I was not in the slightest hurry, thinking that she would definitely return my scarf to me in a moment, so I would ask her what she was doing with it.
Thinking of this, my heart was excited, nervous, and full of anticipation, and I thought only that after she finished this dance, she would come to me, and what should I say to her at that time?
If I hadn't seen her dance, I might not have had a strong feeling for her, but now, I only feel a kind of admiration and admiration for her in my heart.
Or maybe it's because I can feel her dedication to art and her professionalism, and her dancing level, which can be said to be superb, should have been dancing for many years.
In the end, I waited until their performance was over, and then I started to feel my heart beating, thinking, when will she give me back the scarf? I guess she'll be walking up to me soon.
About ten minutes passed.
I finally waited for the moment when she appeared, and she quietly walked up to me, at this time she did not put on her coat, so she was wearing a dance costume, so that I could only feel the throbbing of my heart when I looked at her body.
But I noticed that she was not holding a scarf in her hand, but she had a smile on her face.
I said to her, "Just now, you performed so well, you danced so well, it's definitely not easy!" ”
In my mind, she is definitely a master dancer, probably to the level of the national level.
She smiled and thanked me and said thank you for my praise and appreciation for her.
Then she asked me, "Do you think it's weird?" Why is your scarf missing? I borrowed your scarf, but I didn't give it back to you? ”
When I heard this, I smiled awkwardly, and then nodded and said, I did think it was strange.
But I'm sure she's not going to get my scarf off, or take it for herself.
But she told me that she had just dropped my scarf.
Because she thinks that my scarf is too old, quite old-fashioned, and she can see from a distance that some of the threads of my scarf have fallen off, so there will be holes, and eventually this scarf will give people a feeling of being bitten by a mouse, and it is undignified for me to wear such a scarf to the event.
When I heard her say this, I was so embarrassed that I wanted a hole nearby, so I immediately got into it.
She was telling the truth.
I have been buying this scarf for many years, and it is pure white, in fact, it is easy to get dirty, and some of the threads are broken, it is also a fact, she can see it from so far away, it is indeed powerful enough, in fact, I want to throw away this scarf myself, but I always feel that the weather is cold, and it can be warmer when I tie it, so I continue to use it, and I am reluctant to buy a new one.
Now that she's thrown it away for me, I don't feel much pity.
And then, she said to me: "You scarf, just now I used a little residual heat, I used it to wipe the dance props, and then threw it in the trash, I will knit you a new one, give it to you, it is definitely much better than your old scarf." ”
As soon as I heard this, I was immediately excited, thinking that I knew just now that she would not throw away my scarf for no reason, and this may be her as an excuse to give me a new scarf, and everything will be logical, and she and I will definitely become friends in the future.
I thanked her and told her that I was embarrassed to owe her a favor.
But she told me that because she threw away my scarf, she gave me a new one, which is the right thing to do.
Immediately afterwards, she proposed to me that because I was so willing to do her a favor, she would not only give me a scarf, but also invite me to a meal.
I wanted to push it back.
But as she turned away, she turned to me and said, "That's it, you don't want to be so mother-in-law." ”
In the end, I couldn't say anything more, after all, it was actually what I wished it would be to happen, and how much I would look forward to sitting next to her as a dancer for a while.
I didn't have the heart to watch the next few performances, I just waited.
But what I thought in my heart was, this female dancer, she didn't know me.
As a young cadre who went to the countryside to be tempered, I have been unknown.
Does she feel for me just because she looks at me, and thus wants to create opportunities to get to know me?
Just when I was wondering, a figure walked up to me, patted me on the shoulder, and sat down.
I looked at it and found that this was Director Zhou Yuan of the County People's Congress, I didn't expect that he would come over and say something to me, I immediately wanted to stand up to show my respect for him.
But Zhou Yuan immediately motioned for me to sit down, and said to me kindly: "Xiao Zhang, you came to our county, and you haven't talked about anyone, I want to do you a favor and be a matchmaker." ”
I couldn't help but feel even more nervous, and quickly shook my head, and said, "Director Zhou, how can I be a big leader like you for such a trivial personal matter, don't make fun of me." ”
At this point, I couldn't help but blush and feel quite embarrassed.
Zhou Yuan said that he was not joking, and he had actually helped me just now, telling me all the details, including how old I was, what university I graduated from, where I was transferred, and the status of being unmarried and unmarried, all of which were told to a female comrade, the female comrade who borrowed a scarf from me just now.
"What do you think of her?" Zhou Yuan asked me in a rather concerned tone and seriously.
I was dumbfounded, and my heart was beating nonstop.
I didn't expect that the female dancer who borrowed the scarf from me just now and threw the scarf away was introduced to me by Zhou Yuan, and Zhou Yuan told the other party all my information, no wonder this dancer seems to know me very well and knows everything about me.
Now facing Zhou Yuan's inquiry, I really don't know how to answer, I just think about whether I replied that I had a heart-pounding feeling? It's so shameful for me.
However, before I could say anything, Zhou Yuan saw my blushing expression, as if he had understood everything, and knew what I was thinking, he smiled kindly again, and then patted me on the shoulder and said, he has made an effort to help me now, so he won't ask me more, anyway, he knows that I will take advantage of this fate.
Immediately afterwards, he told some basic information about this female dancer.
It turned out that this female dancer, named Li Shuying, was the daughter of one of his comrades-in-arms, and she was only twenty-seven years old this year, only two years older than me.
Li Shuying graduated from a dance academy in the north, and her profession is not actually the deputy head of the dance troupe, she is a teacher in a literary secondary college in another county, and this dance troupe was also formed in their school.
Zhou Yuan told me again that Li Shuying has not found a suitable partner to fall in love with because the conditions are too good, and he thinks that Li Shuying and I are a good match, so he secretly matched me and her, and he believes that Li Shuying's future development in dance should be quite accomplished, and she will definitely become a national-level dancer.
I was excited and excited in my heart, I didn't expect that Zhou Yuan, the big leader, would care about me so much and give me such help.
Even if I felt ashamed of this kind of thing, I had to thank Zhou Yuan in a whisper, and told him that I would try my best to grasp this opportunity and not disappoint him, the leader.
After Zhou Yuan let out a low, hearty "hehehe" open-minded laugh, he patted me on the shoulder again, and then walked back to his original seat.
After the whole party was over, I sat in place and waited, just thinking, what Li Shuying said just now that she wanted me to eat, I can't leave, is she true or false, or is it a joke?
What I didn't expect was that just as I was waiting in confusion, she really appeared, took my hand and left, and said to me, hurry up, otherwise, everyone is waiting over there.
In the end, I had to follow her all the time, and she pulled me like this until I got to a restaurant.
I found that most of the dancers sitting here were the dancers who had just performed, and the seat she was going to was obviously a few particularly important figures in the literary and artistic circles.
She sat me down beside her, and then introduced each of her friends to me as if she had taken me as her object, and I had to nod awkwardly to her peers.
And these friends of hers thought that she had found a partner and congratulated her, which made me embarrassed.
I thought to myself, is it because Director Zhou explained my basic situation too well and made a guarantee, so that she felt that I had no problem in terms of conduct and integrity, so she knew me so well, and even directly regarded me as an object?
But in fact, I think I have a lot of personal shortcomings.
In fact, Director Zhou may not know about these things, and I only think that Li Shuying, as a dancer with such good conditions and an excellent woman with such a good career, may not be able to accept my personal shortcomings.
And her mate selection conditions are so good, so she settled with me so quickly, maybe she will regret it.
Finally, when this celebration meal was over, Li Shuying and her students were going back to their school, and when I saw her off, I took a short walk with her by the river, and I smiled frankly at her and said:
"You've decided so quickly that you're going to deal with me? Maybe Director Zhou said good things about me, but didn't say anything bad about me, right? Don't think too much of me, I have a lot of shortcomings. ”
Li Shuying covered her mouth and laughed when she heard me say this.
At this moment, she showed her heroic personality, and said to me: "From the first time I saw you, I fell in love with you, I saw the right eye, and I want to deal with you, no matter what the result is, I will not regret it, are you still afraid that I will dump you in the future?" ”
Immediately afterwards, she told me that she has always been very picky in finding a partner, but once she is really moved, she will be desperate to love, so I can't escape if I fall into her hands this time.
I was completely speechless, thinking that I really wanted to plant it in her hands.
I'm afraid that in the end, if I talk to her, it won't work out, and I won't be able to plant it, and that will only be a heartache for her or for me.
And she said to me, if I want to get the scarf that she is going to give me, then I will go to her school to find her, she will not send it herself, I have to fight for it.
I nodded vigorously, thinking to myself that this was of course, how could I be embarrassed to let her come all the way to me, of course I would go to her.
About ten days later, I suddenly received a letter written to me by Li Shuying, which surprised me quite a lot, she said in the letter that the scarf she knitted for me had been completed, so when I was free, I would go to her to get it.
On the following Sunday, I pedaled my bicycle for more than an hour to arrive in a neighboring county, found the literary and artistic secondary college where Li Shuying was, and finally registered in front of the door.
The janitor took me into this school all the time.
Li Shuying still needs to go to class on this day, and when I appeared in front of the classroom door, she looked at me in surprise, I looked at her and I didn't need to say anything to each other, because our hearts seemed to have a tacit understanding.
When she finished her class, she took me to their dormitory.
What I didn't expect was that she actually took me directly into her single dormitory, I smelled the fragrance of Zhilan in it, and felt the sweet smell of the lady's boudoir, and I only felt a burst of love in my heart.
But I'm actually a very determined person, so I'm always quite serious.
When I saw the scarf she knitted for me, I just felt that the scarf was so well woven, and the details were quite neatly woven and beautiful, so that I could feel her affection for me.
She tied it to me herself, and tried several ways to tie it, and after each tie, she admired it as if she was watching a work of her own, and pinched my face from time to time, which made me laugh.
But I only did one thing, I cleaned up her dormitory, cleaned up the place where she lived, inside and out, and washed her feet with a basin of hot water.
After I washed her feet, her eyes were shining, and she said to me that she only felt that she was quite lucky, and that she would be guaranteed for the rest of her life when she met someone like me, because she had grown up since she was a child, and only her father and mother cared about her so much.
I told her that of course I could take care of her for the rest of my life, as long as she was willing and could accept all my shortcomings, anyway, in my opinion, I could find someone like her, it was already Gao Pan.
That night, she and I went outside the school again, had a meal at a restaurant, it was past ten o'clock in the evening, and I didn't hesitate to get on my bike and leave, because I only thought that I couldn't stay here until everything was settled with her.
She stood motionless and saw me off, her eyes were full of affection and reluctance, I guess she had fallen in love with me completely, and I was equally in love with her.
After more than three months of falling in love, Li Shuying and I have a deeper understanding of each other, and finally determined that the other party is the life partner we are looking for, so we met our parents together.
Her family background and family background are much better than mine, her father is a demobilized cadre, her mother is also a dancer, and she is a local in the county.
I have been a farmer for generations, and my parents, brothers and sisters are all in the countryside.
But her parents and family did not dislike me, respected her own wishes, she said, as long as she likes, her parents will not interfere in any way, she wants to marry me, then her parents will treat me as a son-in-law.
Later, Li Shuying became my lover, although our husband and wife do not work in the same place, but Xiao Bie Sheng is newly married, and the relationship between husband and wife has always been quite good.
She continues to shine in dance performance and dance education.
And I often run the grassroots in the countryside to promote the improvement of farmers' breeding technology, help them increase their income and create wealth, so that many farmers eventually embark on the road of breeding to get rich and become 10,000 yuan households.
－END－
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