In everyone's life, there will always be a dark and helpless time.
Some people like to complain, but the more they confide, the more bitter they become.
Blindly complaining about bitterness is just quenching your thirst with seawater, and the more you drink, the thirstier you get.
Really powerful people know how to silently carry everything and digest the pain into the driving force to move forward.
As the saying goes:
"There is no one in the world who is not injured, no matter when, you must believe that the only one who can truly heal yourself is yourself."
When people are at a low point, it is the most rational choice to turn themselves into silent mode.
Never complain to anyone
Osamu Dazai said in "Human Disqualification":
"I think it's futile to complain to others, and it's better to suffer in silence than to do so."
The wound is not on someone else's body, and others will never be able to experience it, that kind of cone taste.
A netizen failed the postgraduate entrance examination twice, and repeatedly hit a wall when looking for a job.
Disheartened, he posted a question on Zhihu:
"Life is at a low point, how to get through it?"
The few messages below are particularly heart-wrenching.
Some people say:
"What a trough you are!
I thought it was a sudden business failure, or something major had happened, and the foreign debt was too much to pay off. ”
It was also said:
"This little setback is a low point for you?
Then all I can say is that your life is really going well.
Moaning without disease. ”
It was already painful enough, but I didn't expect to muster up the courage to ask for help, but in exchange for cynicism.
In real life, many people have had similar experiences.
I long for someone who can understand our pain, help us heal the wrinkles in our hearts, and take us out of the gloom.
But everyone has their own troubles.
Your difficulties cannot be solved by others;
Your emotions are not relatable.
Instead of expecting someone else to light a light for you, you can carry the lantern yourself.
Writer Martin once said:
"Every strong person has gritted his teeth and spent a period of time when no one helped, no one supported, and no one asked for warmth."
Truly mature people have learned to swallow their own hardships and bear their own tiredness.
When you go through the wind and rain alone and cross the thorns, you can usher in the sweetness of life's gifts.
The joys and sorrows of the world are not the same
In the TV series "Who Said I Can't Get Married", Cheng Lu, played by Tong Yao, is a 35-year-old single screenwriter.
Ten years ago, when she just entered the industry, she won an industry award with her debut novel.
In the first few years, Cheng Lu was invited to participate in countless celebrity gatherings and enjoyed the popularity of everyone.
But after the scenery, the low tide period is soon coming.
Although Cheng Lu has written many new works, he has never been able to reach the heights of the year.
The peers who have been around her have been chasing after her, but at this time they don't even have a word of comfort.
At an industry party, she even heard two former friends laughing at her behind her back.
This made Cheng Lu, who was desperate, want to quit the screenwriting industry for a while.
There's a good saying:
"The joys and sorrows of the world are not connected, and the warmth and coldness of people's hearts can only be known by themselves."
In the past, we always thought that life would empathize:
When you are criticized by the leader and feel sad, you think that you will be comforted by others;
When you have a low salary and can't pay the rent, you think you will get the landlord's understanding;
When you have a problem at home and need help from others, you think you will get help from others.
Later, I realized that all the blows and pains have to be borne silently by yourself.
As Xin Yiwu said in "Shanyue Doesn't Know the Bottom of My Heart":
"Our hearts, our flesh, grow on each of us, the ups and downs, and the taste of our own taste, only we know."
When you survive the hardships of life, you will understand that you are the best harbor.
The World of Adults:
Joys and sorrows are self-explanatory, and others are difficult to understand
I've heard a saying:
"The silence of adults is not because they don't want to say it, but because no one understands it."
How painful the wounds on a person's body are, only you know best.
In the variety show "I Am an Actor", Zhang Songwen improvised a clip of a failed audition for a young man in Beipiao and a video call with his family, which resonated with many audiences.
The words of praise from the audience, one after another:
"It's worthy of being an old drama bone."
"This is called real acting."
But behind this brilliance, he has also experienced an unknown bitter life.
When Zhang Songwen first acted, he was disliked because his appearance was not outstanding, resulting in no drama to shoot for a long time.
He had run seven or eight hundred crews in three years, but he could count the number of people he got on his fingers.
Even so, Zhang Songwen never thought of giving up for a moment, and kept cheering himself up, saying to himself:
"Tomorrow will be fine."
For this "tomorrow will be good", Zhang Songwen waited for 20 years, and finally waited to play the role of the father of the male protagonist of the drama "The Hidden Corner".
In the play, he portrayed the role of his father vividly and showed his style, so he began to be well-known.
These experiences, just like the Weibo he once posted:
"The adult world is not so pretentious.
A hundred times of collapse, there should also be a hundred times of self-healing. ”
There is no one in this world who is not bitter, and what can really heal us is our own courage and strength.
When you walk through that very difficult time alone, jumping over the mountains and rivers of fate, you will find:
Even if the road ahead is full of thorns, as long as we don't stop, we will definitely usher in our own dawn.
As Rabindranath Tagore said:
"The suffering, the losses you have suffered, the responsibilities you have suffered, and the pain you have endured today will eventually turn into light and illuminate your path."
Behind many desirable lives, there are little-known hardships, and many people have walked through those bleak years alone.
Only by enduring the wind and frost and surviving the hardships will you meet a better self.
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Writer Maugham said:
"Each and every one of us is a product of the loneliness of this planet, because we are all going through it, unique experiences."
It is precisely because of this uniqueness that there is no empathy between people.
Therefore, some unspeakable grief can only be digested by one person;
Some heart-rending nights can only be boiled slowly by yourself.
When you quietly accumulate strength in the mire, you can break through the siege in the midst of suffering.
愿你,熬过重重阻碍,往后皆是欢喜。