Wenjiang Zuo Mei Niang
01A 26-year-old girl working hard in Africa died
The recent news is devastating, a 26-year-old girl who worked hard in Africa to make money has died, and even more tragic is that after her death, her family is willing to take her property, but they will not go to Africa to claim her bones.
In early April 2024, Zhou Yanling, a girl working in Africa, died of malaria.
In the age of the internet, where information explodes every day, this is not big news. However, as reporters uncovered Zhou Yanling's short and bumpy life, her story quickly aroused the sighs and tears of countless netizens.
26-year-old Zhou Yanling is a girl with dreams. Although her family of origin was very poor, she was born in a small mountain village in Guangxi, and she has a brother and a sister in the family.
As the eldest daughter, her fate is actually to "recruit younger brothers" or "follow younger brothers".
She has never received enough love from her parents, so her relationship with her parents and siblings is also very indifferent.
After going to college, she rarely contacted her family, and she didn't even go back much for the Chinese New Year.
Zhou Yanling's university major is French, and her dream place is romantic and free France.
In order to achieve this goal, she needs to save enough 1 million, and she made a plan to work in Africa as early as when she was in college, and determined that she could save enough money by working there for three years, and she began to work hard. Although the environment in Africa is very different from that at home, and the work is extremely difficult, she has never complained because of her dreams.
She never felt tired when she finally toiled on the dusty African land every day, and she was awakened every day by dreams and hopes.
However, such a strong, hard-working and action-filled girl, she is willing to try any opportunity, she can go anywhere with her bags on her back, and she can resist any setbacks, however, the trick of fate made her not cross the ghost gate when she was still a year away from her dream.
In her life, she had never been seen by her parents in the first half of her life, she was oppressed in her original family, treated as a tool, not as an independent individual, and died in a foreign land, and they also refused to go to a foreign country to bring back her ashes, but they did not refuse her property and the compensation that she had exchanged for her life. Those funds that hold her dreams will probably become her brother's house and a bride price for her brother's wife. Sad.
This society is really unfair to girls.
Zhou Yanling's story is just the tip of the iceberg, and countless women who have been squeezed dry by their families are their common epitome. They were born unblessed and were born with the mission of providing for their brothers. Trying to escape from their original family has become the motivation for their survival.
But why did they lose at the starting line from birth?
Gender women turned out to be our biggest original sin.
02. The story of a college friend
Gender is the original sin of women?
Once, a college friend of mine told me about the damage her parents had done to her, and even when she was middle-aged, she still had a hard time.
My friend divorced last year, and the house is her ex-husband's pre-marital property, so naturally she doesn't have her share. She planned to buy a house by herself and borrow 50,000 yuan from her parents, and her parents agreed.
But after the house was optimistic, her parents didn't know why they refused again, she questioned, and her father was furious, counting her unfilial, and later she learned that her younger brother wanted to buy a car, and he wanted to buy a good car, so his parents changed his mind.
Besides, she is a divorced woman, and her house has not been found, what if she borrows it and does not get it back? She thought about it for her parents, and she understood.
So she asked her parents if she could live in her parents' house for a while. My mother's family has two houses, my brother's family also has two houses, and the old house waiting to be demolished will be moved to her for temporary living, so it shouldn't be refused.
However, they refused.
They don't lack a house, and they also know the pain of having no fixed home, but he also knows that his parents' money belongs to his younger brother, and the house also belongs to his younger brother, and she will be an outsider after she gets married.
People are cold, but that's it. As a woman, when her life fell into a trough, I thought that my mother's family could be the one who could support herself, but when you turned around, you found that there was nothing behind you.
Later, her mother fell ill and was hospitalized, and she went to work during the day and went to the hospital at night to take care of her old mother.
The younger brother didn't care about his mother, but his mother didn't blame him at all, because no matter how filial his brother is, it is also his own family, and no matter how filial his daughter is, he is not his own family.
My friend told me that in fact, before she got married, she really gave back a lot to her mother's family.
On weekdays, she goes to her parents' house to carry a large bag, doing this and that. And when the younger brother goes to his parents' house, he is often empty-handed, just waiting for ready-made food.
She will give a huge amount of holiday money every New Year's Day, but her younger brother has never given a dime, but her parents will never say a "no" word to her younger brother, and for her, they will always feel that all her efforts are deserved, and they are never enough.
Too many parents kidnap their daughters with the grace of parenting.
Before you get married, you must give all your income to your parents, and you must use the bride price to help your brother marry and have children.
After marriage, you must also subsidize your mother's family, contribute money and efforts to your mother's family, and you have to work hard and complain, and you can't have any opinions, otherwise you will be raised for nothing.
And what about the son? If you are not filial to your parents, your parents have to say good things to him, how can it be unreasonable!
Fortunately, my friend is not poor, she borrowed money from me and other friends, and after buying a house, her job was promoted, and she was not so enthusiastic about her mother's family.
03 The sorrow of a woman
There is a saying that is quite heart-wrenching:
"When a woman is married, she has no home. He is an outsider in his mother-in-law's house, and he is a guest in his mother's house. If you are divorced and even have a small family, your body and mind will have nothing to rely on. ”
When I talked to Lao Yang, he smiled: "Who called you a woman?" ”
Good one who calls me a woman, I am a woman is my decision? Besides, even if I am a woman, I deserve to be guilty of original sin, should I be inferior?
It's better in the big city, but the women who are still living in their hometown still live in an environment where men are inferior and can't get rid of it.
I have been in Jiangnan for many years, and I really think that the environment here is really good, if I can, I should really try to find a man from Jiangnan to marry, followed by a man from Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai.
Men in Guangdong, Guangxi, Fujian, Shandong and other provinces are best not to touch, because their "machismo" is really outrageous, I am married to a man from Shandong, and I really think it is so difficult to change him, I can only say that fortunately we live in Jiangnan, so Lao Yang is a little bit of a bit of a sight......
In those provinces, men who grew up in a patriarchal environment had a fascination with their gender.
This is where their self-confidence comes from, even though they are very ordinary.
When I helped my son make a super difficult Olympiad problem, when I earned more income than Lao Yang,
His look of surprise seemed to say, "You are a woman, how can you do this?" This is so unconscionable! ”
Hehe, I said to Lao Yang: "We women have always been like this, obviously very good, but very low-key. ”
Finally, let's get back to business.
Even if we women are despised by our patriarchal parents, we will not be able to completely cut off contact with them.
Luo Xiang said:
"The most suffocating thing about the original family is not that your parents blindly suppress you, but that they suffocate you at the same time, and make you feel that they love you in their hearts, at this time, there will be a very strong sense of guilt in your heart, this feeling is like a soaked cotton jacket, cold when you put it on, and it is cold when you take it off."
Yes, so what?
figured out one thing, the so-called preference for sons over daughters is just the utilitarian heart of parents.
In rural areas, the preference for sons over daughters is just for the sake of inheritance, because men are more suitable for labor, so they will always be male-oriented.
In the cities, the preference for sons over daughters is nothing but the residual poison of the feudal ideology in the countryside, and neither the left nor the right can get rid of the feudal ideology, nor can they escape the calculation of interests.
In the first year of my work after graduating from university, my mother asked me for my salary and said that she would save it for me as a dowry for my future marriage.
I didn't give a penny, but I just gave her a holiday fee during the festival, so that I could fulfill my filial piety and have a clear conscience.
When I got married, I borrowed my mother's money to buy the wedding house, and then I paid it off quickly, and I didn't spend a penny on my parents.
When my brother was working, my mother didn't ask him for a dime, and she bought him a car and a house when he got married.
The purchase of the house was paid in one hand, and the younger brother never paid it back.
My parents often say that I don't help my mother and brother enough, I just smile, don't speak, and I don't defend, because it's useless to argue, many of my parents' deep-rooted thoughts are difficult to change, if you have to argue with them, then you must be hurt in the end.
Women, remember: gender is not the original sin of us women.
No matter whether this society thinks so, whether our parents think so, and whether our husbands think so, when we have the ability to earn money independently, we have the capital not to admit this, and we will never be coerced by this.
If you have been like me, you have been kidnapped by this, and you have been hurt by your parents' "favoritism", then please wake up early!
Study hard, cultivate yourself, make more money, and get better and better!
We don't need to be sorry to anyone, we have to be proud and proud to be born as women in this life!
I like a quote:
"If there were no women in this world, the universe would feel lonely, and the heavens and the earth would be eclipsed; If there were no women in this world, money would be meaningless; If there were no women, there would be no beauty in this world! ”
Yes! The world is a better place because of us.