Excessive empathy, "empathy fatigue" may occur. Just as long-term overload can cause muscle damage, overusing your ability to empathize is likely to have a negative impact on your body and emotions.
—— "Speech", Reader, No. 11, 2021
It's interesting to watch a short piece of dialogue.
Apprentice: "Master, what will you do if someone scolds you?" ”
Master: "I just watched him scolding quietly, watching him jump like thunder without saying anything, and watching the flame of his anger burning." ”
I think it's a great way to deal with problems.
If a person sends negative energy to you, it means that his body is already full of negative energy, and the blazing negative energy is burning him.
If you don't reply to him, you pity him and bless him silently, and you won't be like him.
But if you respond to him, you have a connection with him, and you will be dragged by him to his energy magnetic field.
Therefore, the best way for a person to change their fate is to never return to negative energy.
Source: Visual China
All the negative energy is paid by yourself
Ask you a question: "If you were accidentally bitten by a poisonous snake, would you run around the mountains with a stick and chase the snake and kill that snake?" ”
I think most people would say, "Of course not, it's stupid." ”
But each of us may have been the one chasing the snake at some point.
In "There is nothing to let go of in life", such a story is told:
There was a person who was framed and imprisoned at the age of 23, and 9 years later, he was wronged.
After he was released from prison, he complained to everyone: "I was wronged when I was the youngest and most promising, and I spent the best time of my life in prison." I really don't understand, why didn't God punish the guy who framed me, even if he was cut with a thousand knives, it would be difficult to solve the hatred in my heart. ”
At the age of 73, he fell ill, and as he lay dying, the pastor said to him:
"Poor man, confess all your sins in the world before you go to heaven."
But he still scolded viciously: "I have nothing to repent, what I need is a curse, a curse on those who caused my unfortunate fate." ”
The pastor asked, "How many years have you been in prison for wrongdoing?" ”
He replied: "Up to 9 years." ”
The priest sighed: "Others have imprisoned you for 9 years, but you have imprisoned yourself for 41 years. After you were released from prison, you should have been free, but you imprisoned yourself for the rest of your life with hatred, complaints, and curses. ”
This story reminds me of that passage:
"If a person scolds you, he scolds you for two days when you remember it; If you remember a year, then he will scold you for a year; If you still remember it until you die, then this person will scold you for the rest of your life. ”
Yes, if someone deliberately causes trouble, you respond immediately; If someone deliberately provokes, you immediately confront.
In the end, not only will you spend a lot of time and energy, but you will also make yourself angry and grumpy.
Those who have negative energy will deny you, criticize you, attack you, and make you unconfident.
You will fall into mental exhaustion, and the energy in your body will be depleted little by little.
To stay away from people who bring you negative energy is to avoid allowing yourself to spend a lot of time and energy on people who don't deserve it.
After reading a passage, I was impressed:
"Don't respond to anything that is negative energy, and if you respond, you will get entangled with it, and if you are entangled, you will be consumed by it. As long as you don't mind in your heart, all evil thoughts will return the way they came.
Gather positive energy, dwell less on bad things, and be less angry at unworthy people. Protect your energy field, your heart will be stable, and your heart will be smooth. ”
Source: Visual China
Absorbing the negative energy of others will only crush yourself
Dong Yuhui said:
"When you understand everyone, you are destined to be incomprehensible, because you are so empathetic, you think from countless angles, and in the end you are embarrassed to say your position."
I don't know if you have ever had such an experience:
Seeing the touching clips in film and television dramas, it is easy to get into the play, and I can't get out for a long time after the end.
I feel like an emotional sponge, constantly understanding and absorbing all kinds of human joys and sorrows.
You'll be sadder than your unemployed colleague and more angry than your friend.
In fact, these are all manifestations of "over-empathy", which simply means that you are over-invested in the emotions and needs of others, to the point of sacrificing your own feelings and needs.
My friend Li'er is an "over-empathetic" person.
Li'er is a well-known empathetic person in the unit, and such an empathetic personality makes her a confidant for many people.
Li'er can capture the other party's emotional points at the first time, and give the most practical suggestions from the other party's point of view.
Today, Xiao Zhang and her chatted about the company's leaders, tomorrow Sister Li complained to her about the chicken feathers at home during the break, or Xiao Wang Xiaoli sent her WeChat from time to time after work......
It is conceivable that in the long run, Li'er will absorb more and more negative emotions, her work status will be affected at work, and she will not be able to relax herself in life.
Yes, when one's energy is over-consumed, it is difficult to concentrate on living one's life in the present.
As this quote from The Reader says:
Excessive empathy, "empathy fatigue" may occur. Just as long-term overload can cause muscle damage, overusing your ability to empathize is likely to have a negative impact on your body and emotions.
Cover of the 11th issue of The Reader, 2021
In fact, many times, we begin to become decadent, not because of ourselves, but because we are infected by the negative energy people around us.
It's like a person who follows a butterfly and sees fragrant flowers; Those who follow the flies can only reach the dirty ditch.
Plants grow towards the sun, and where there is sunshine, there is warmth.
People are the same, stay away from those circles that bring you negative energy, and curb all the bad emotions that affect you from the source, so that you can return yourself to a pure land.
The best way for a person to transit: never revert to negative energy
Wilde said:
"For our own sake we must forgive some, for a man cannot keep a viper in his breast forever, nor get up night and night to plant thorns in the garden of the soul."
Yes, learning to forgive, not cowardice, is the best fulfillment and kindness to yourself.
There is also a light-hearted little joke that I also share with you:
When your children make you angry, please calm down and meditate: Biological biological child, follow me and follow me;
When your lover makes you angry, please calm down and meditate: what I chose, what I chose, what I chose, deserved it;
When work makes you angry, please calm down and meditate: those who give money, those who give money, endure and endure.
You must know that what can really hurt you is not someone else, it is your inner obsession.
Tell yourself every day that the most important thing in life is to live the present moment and focus on your life.
Author: Light ink for more than a few years, I wish to love everything I meet, with a happy heart, slow unknowable encounters.