What is the future of a child depends on the level of parents. The level of parents determines the path under the child's feet.
The level of parents determines the pattern of children's view of things. And high-level reliable parents have won in these 8 details, and encourage you. 01
90% of the company you give your children is "fake".
I hope parents all over the world can understand: it is better to accompany 10% of your heart for 10 hours than to accompany you for 1 hour with 100% of your heart.
Whether it is a "working mother" or a "full-time mother", the quality and effect of family education should not be measured simply by time, and efficient companionship is the most important thing!
When we are with our children, we can try FM. Turn yourself to the same frequency as a child, imagine yourself as a child, and try to see the world through the eyes of a child. Different roles naturally have different mentalities.
Forget about work, forget about mobile phones, forget all kinds of anxiety, and even forget the role of parents, simply discover the wonders of this world with your child, simply play a game with him, enjoy it, and live in the moment.
If you are a "working mother", please spend a limited time with your children to do more meaningful things, and don't worry about affecting your children's growth because of your career.
If you are a "stay-at-home mother", please don't waste your time, do a good job of daily time planning, carefully plan to spend every minute and every second with your child, and don't let time pass quietly in a daze, playing with your mobile phone.
02
Parents with full marks look at the process, and parents who fail only look at the results
If you can't see the effort your child puts in in the process, you can't fully accept your child's body and mind. Learning to appreciate the efforts put in by children in the process is a compulsory lesson for every parent. As education expert Wang Renping said: The beautiful meaning of life lies in the process rather than the result; If you blindly focus on the results and do not pay attention to the process of your child's efforts.
You look at a flower, the flower blooms beautifully, and it's a pity that the petals have withered. But if you see the process of its slow opening, and the process of withering, you will sigh at the vivid vitality, right in front of your eyes.
If you can't see the effort your child puts in in the process, you can't fully accept your child's body and mind. Learning to appreciate the efforts put in by children in the process is a compulsory lesson for every parent.
03
Educate children not on others, but on themselves
The child is the projection of the family's problems, and once the child has any problems, it must be the family's relationship that has problems. On the road to education, never expect others to help you teach your children. Many parents will blame the school and teachers for the mistakes of educating their children, but in fact, it is the parents themselves who need to reflect the most. The most interesting part of cooking is the process that takes a lot of effort. The reason why the food is delicious and the quality is excellent is because you carefully remove the foam or do knife work in the process, even if it is troublesome, you do not cut corners. Education has always been a thing that cannot be lazy!
No pain, no gain! 04
Your good mood is your child's good weather
I agree with Teacher Yin Jianli's words: "Educating a child is nothing more than talking to him well, not being in a hurry or getting angry, and if you do this, you will succeed 80%." If you do, your child is in luck. A professor at the University of Manchester once did a famous "static experiment".
The subjects of the experiment were a child about one year old and his young mother. At the beginning of the experiment, the mother and the child communicated and played as usual.
Mom's words are gentle and her expression is relaxed; The child also behaved very relaxed and happy.
Just when the two of them were having a good time, my mother suddenly turned her face at the request of the experiment; When she turned her face again, her mother put away her smile and became expressionless. Surprisingly, the child, who looked ignorant, instantly noticed the difference in the expression on his mother's face.
The child chilled and smiled at his mother as he had done before he started.
Seeing that the mother did not react, the child resorted to all "means" to attract the mother's attention:
The child reaches out to the mother, screams, turns around and looks around......
Less than two minutes into the experiment, the child developed negative emotions. Then the child fell into a deep breakdown and began to cry.
And when the mother regained her relaxed and happy expression, the child immediately turned sad to happy and smiled.
In fact, children are more sensitive than we think, and this is true for small children, and even more so for older children.
This experiment made the child deeply unsettling just by his facial expressions, not to mention yelling and scolding at the child, which would bring more and deeper harm to the child. 05
Preventing children from making mistakes is the biggest mistake in education
Childhood requires "trial and error" and "disobedience". Not allowing children to make mistakes and asking children to obey their parents in everything is like not allowing children to learn to walk to wrestle, replacing long-term and inner perfection with temporary, superficial perfection. Hitting the bowl, wetting the bed, scribbling on the wall, etc., what's wrong with indulging like this once in a while. The sheets can be removed and put in the washing machine, and they will be clean in no time, and what can be exchanged for this joy of childhood? How pale it would be if there was no memory of mischievous and troublesome childhood. It is a sad thing to raise a completely "obedient" child, when a child obeys the orders of his parents in everything and follows the rules everywhere, it is not an educational achievement, but a long-term sadness hidden in life.
It is important to remember to allow your child to make mistakes, stay with them, and spend a little more time on them. In this way, you will gain a different kind of child and meet a new self.
06
Wise parents, encouraging children, bad parents, hitting children
As a parent, it is important to remember that other people's children are never the benchmark that stimulates their children's efforts to move forward.
In the movie "Stars on Earth", the teacher asks the parents of the children:
"If you like racing so much, why bother having children?"
An excellent child must not be compared.
Every child has their own characteristics, there is no comparison, what we have to do is to encourage children to be themselves with an appreciative eye and harvest their own happy life.
07
High-level parents are guides, and low-level parents will only lose their temper
For children, whether they know how to think is the key to future success.
Children who have the ability to think independently will not follow the crowd and follow the crowd. Know what you want and keep thinking about yourself how you can move towards your goals.
A child's curiosity is the first step to inspire thinking.
Parents need to let their children know that curiosity is more important than not making mistakes.
The healthiest education is to let children become children, and let them think generously.
In this way, the child's life will be less detoured, less confused, and more determined.
08
Children are not your hope, you are.
The Japanese writer Kotaro Isaka once said that it is a terrible thing to think that human beings can become parents without going through exams.
Indeed, it is easy to have children, but it is difficult to be a parent; When you are a parent with a "license", it is even harder.
I once heard a little story.
A couple of parents went to ask the Master, "What should I do if my child is disobedient?" ”
The Master asked, "Have you made any copies of the documents?" ”
The parents replied, "Yes, I did." ”
Master: "If there is a typo on the copy, do you change the copy or the original?" ”
On the spot they understood that in family education, the parents are the originals, the family is the photocopier, and the children are the copies.
It's like a messy family that can't raise children with a sense of order. A family that does not have a book at home and whose parents do not read cannot raise a child who loves to read.
Parenting, in the final analysis, is to educate oneself.
The most important thing in all family education is the self-growth of parents. In fact, adults need education more than children. Only adults with a lifelong learning attitude can give children the most room for growth.
A child grows only once, and if you miss it, you can't get it back. I hope you and I can see our own problems in these eight comics, and then slowly correct them. Find out the problem as soon as possible, improve it as soon as possible, walk with your child, and live a wonderful life.