Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
In the interaction between people, how to call each other is a university question.
Especially for women, screaming incorrectly can make them very uncomfortable. Those who are smart men understand this, so they are especially careful when dealing with women.
They don't use offending names, but rather they pick more neutral but respectful names.
In this way, not only can you avoid a lot of unnecessary misunderstandings, but also make women think that you are a good man.
At the end of the day, the title is small, but it should not be taken lightly. If you call it right, the relationship is near; If you don't call it right, you may lose all your efforts.
Generally speaking, women are disgusted by the following four titles, and smart men don't call them casually.
01
"Beauty"
Although the title of "beauty" sounds like a compliment to each other, in fact, it has been used so badly that it has long lost its original meaning of praise.
In many cases, the term "beauty" is even used to accosting or harassing women.
So, women will be very disgusted by this title.
For example, if you meet a beautiful lady at a party, and you want to go up and talk to her, you say, "Hello, beauty!" ”
Unexpectedly, the other party not only did not respond to you, but frowned.
The reason is that the term "beauty" is too frivolous and lacks sincerity and respect.
Mark Twain once said, "Sincere praise is the most moving thing." ”
Therefore, smart men will choose a more specific and sincere way of compliment, such as complimenting the other person's dress, temperament or talent, rather than simply calling out "beauty".
02
"Big Sister"
The title of "eldest sister" often makes women feel that they are classified as the kind of person who is no longer young.
After all, age has always been a sensitive topic for most women.
They don't want to be stressed about their age, especially the title of "big sister", which instantly feels like they are being called a teenager older.
For example, in some social situations, you meet an older lady and you want to show respect, so you call her "big sister".
As a result, the other party seems very unhappy, his attitude has changed sharply, and he is even unwilling to deal with you.
The root cause is that because of the title of "eldest sister", she feels that she has been labeled as "old", and she feels uncomfortable, of course, she has no good face for you.
Aristotle once said, "True respect is not based on age, but on wisdom and virtue." ”
Smart men, they will respect the touching of women and avoid using salutations that make them feel uncomfortable.
So, they choose more neutral addresses, such as "Ms." or "you", to show respect for the other person.
03
"Miss"
In modern society, the meaning of the title "Miss" has changed dramatically.
In some special circumstances, "Miss" is even given a derogatory connotation, or an improper occupation.
Therefore, the use of this title often makes women feel offended or belittled.
For example, in a business meeting, you call a female colleague in the other company "Miss". As a result, the faces of the people immediately turned cold, which made everyone present extremely embarrassed.
Because in this case, the title of "Miss" is obviously not formal and respectful enough, and may even make the other party misunderstand that it has other meanings.
Abraham Lincoln once said, "Everyone wants to be respected and understood." ”
Therefore, smart men do not use names that are misleading or offensive, especially in formal settings or business settings.
They will choose a more formal title, such as "Ms.", or a specific job title.
04
Too affectionate titles
Overly intimate titles, such as "baby" and "dear", are appropriate in intimate relationships.
But in the case of unfamiliarity, or when meeting for the first time, using these salutations often makes the other person uncomfortable.
This kind of title is too intimate, and it is easy for people to misunderstand or think that you are frivolous.
For example, at a social event, you meet a lady you like and want to use the title "baby" to bring you closer to each other.
It backfired, and the other party was very disgusted by the title and thought you were a frivolous man. Not to mention closing the distance, it may immediately hide away from you.
Therefore, you must know how to use the appropriate title at the right time, and don't easily use too intimate titles to offend the other party.
After you have a certain amount of trust and understanding of each other, you can choose the title according to the intimacy of the relationship.
The above four titles usually make women offended. Whether it's between colleagues, business dealings, or meeting a woman you like, let's try not to use it.
Although the title is a small thing, "a good start is half the battle", don't let the "title" ruin your beginning, so that an otherwise smooth relationship ends up being awkward and contradictory.