Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
When it comes to getting married, everyone has a different idea in their hearts.
Some people like two people to be tired of being together all day long, sweet and sweet, like glue. They feel that marriage also needs to be intimate and have the same heart with each other.
But some people don't think like this, they think that the most important thing in marriage is that two people can live together in harmony and respect each other.
You respect me, I respect you, we all have our own space, but we can face things together when we encounter them.
But in my opinion, a truly comfortable marriage state is not like glue, nor is it respectful, but can be boiled down to three simple words - "understand", "trust", and "tolerance".
01
Let's start with "get it".
In the long married life, the most rare thing between husband and wife is the tacit understanding.
This is not something that can be cultivated overnight, but requires a long period of communication and understanding.
The so-called understanding is to be able to understand the needs of the other party, understand the joys and sorrows of the other party, and be able to experience each other's hearts when the other party is silent.
The love between Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu has always been rumored to be a good story. The tacit understanding between them is the best interpretation of "understanding".
Yang Jiang once recalled: "When the two of us are together, there is always endless fun. ”
This kind of fun comes from the mutual understanding between them.
Whether in life or academically, they can always find common ground, inspire each other, and support each other.
02
Let's talk about "faith."
Faith is trust, and it is the foundation of marriage.
Without trust, marriage is like a house built on the beach, which cannot stand the test of wind and waves.
The trust mentioned here is not only the recognition of the other party's character, but also the firmness of the marital relationship.
In marriage, we will always encounter various challenges, even temptations. Only with firm trust in each other can we walk through every difficulty and cross every hurdle hand in hand.
It's like Jack Ma as we all know, but do you know who is silently supporting him behind his success?
In the early days of his business, his wife Zhang Ying supported him 100%. Ma Yun didn't have much money at that time, and the future was unknown, but Zhang Ying just believed in him and thought he could do it.
In order to support Ma Yun, Zhang Ying even put down her job, returned to her family, and became a full-time wife. In this way, Jack Ma can concentrate more on his career.
The relationship between the two of them has also deepened because of this trust, and it is really not easy to go through so many ups and downs together, and it is really not easy to hold hands to get to the present.
Their marriage is enviable, not only a commercial success, but also an emotional happiness.
03
Finally, let's talk about "Rong".
Tolerance is tolerance, but tolerance in marriage is not to indulge the other person's shortcomings, but to understand the other person's imperfections and be willing to spend a lifetime with them.
Everyone has their own personality and habits, marriage is a lifelong thing, and we must learn to accept and tolerate everything about each other.
The marriage of Lin Huiyin and Liang Sicheng is the best portrayal of the word "tolerance".
Lin Huiyin is not only talented and beautiful, but also has a lot of personality and has his own ideas and ways of doing things.
Liang Sicheng, as her husband, can be said to be a very generous person. He not only admires Lin Huiyin's talent, but also tolerates her petty temperament and those maverick ideas.
The two of them not only learn from each other academically, but also support each other in life, and have experienced so many ups and downs together, and they have always been in love.
In many cases, the most comfortable marital state is not the intimacy on the surface, or the polite respect for each other, but the deep inner understanding, trust and tolerance between husband and wife.
As the French writer Moloya said: "In a truly happy marriage, friendship must be fused with love." ”
This kind of "integration" is actually the fusion of the three words "understanding", "believing" and "tolerant".
Of course, this is not achieved overnight, but the result of the continuous running-in and hard work of both husband and wife.
Only through continuous communication and understanding can we truly "understand"; Only with firm trust and selfless dedication can we build "trust".
Only by learning to accept and tolerate each other's imperfections can we achieve true "tolerance" in marriage.
Therefore, when pursuing a happy marriage, we might as well start with the words "understanding", "trust" and "tolerance". When we can really do this, we may be able to find that marriage is the most comfortable and happiest state.