Recently, there is a popular meme on the Internet, called "the critical life of Chinese".
From birth, we have to face countless key nodes in our lives, move forward according to the norms of the "social clock", and dare not fall behind at any stage.
Why are Chinese people full of keyframes in their lives?
How critical can the life of a Chinese be?
The life of Chinese is really like walking on thin ice, "ten thousand keys pierce the heart".
Some netizens made a collection of videos about various ages on the short video platform, and found that from birth, every step is a critical step; Every point in time is a key node; Every stage counts.
The plan of the day lies in the morning, noon and evening, and the plan of the year lies in the spring, summer, autumn and winter.
Prenatal education, birth, early education, primary school, junior high school, high school entrance examination, high school, college entrance examination, graduate school entrance examination, employment, marriage, childbirth, promotion...... It's all critical.
Some netizens ridiculed: In fact, the place where you are buried is the most critical.
In this life, there are only four words to sum up in the end: every step is terrifying.
This situation is the concept of the "social clock" proposed by psychologist Bernice Niukato.
The so-called social clock is a kind of psychological clock used to describe the main milestones in an individual's life, which stipulates "what age to do what", which is the default time scale of the whole society.
The social clock is determined by the socio-cultural context, as there is a general consensus on the appropriate age for major life events.
It seems that everyone is going to follow the standard pattern of the "social clock".
The first day of school is preparing for the college entrance examination, the first day of falling in love is preparing for marriage, and the first day of work is preparing for buying a house......
If something goes wrong in any of the links, the conclusion is that "so many years of reading books in vain", "wasting youth on one person in vain", "what's the use of working for so many years".
In this case, rest seems to have become a kind of "original sin" of the Chinese.
Other people's gap years are tourism and volunteers, and our gap year should be used to prepare for the graduate school entrance examination, World War II, and the public entrance examination.
And if you don't "go ashore" in the end, the gap year will become a forever "stain" on your life.
It seems that it is only on the day of retirement that rest can be taken for granted and above board.
However, as the retirement age is gradually delayed, rest is becoming more and more unattainable.
Why is the life of the Chinese filled with "keyframes"?
Chinese, which year is the most critical?
From a psychosocial perspective, pervasive anxiety and utilitarian ways of thinking make people more willing to choose a step-by-step life.
With the rapid development of society and the explosion of information, people will feel that they need to meet certain standards or achievements at every stage in order to keep up with the pace of the times.
The utilitarian way of thinking also makes people more and more pursue the maximization of benefits and utility. In this mode of thinking, people tend to divide their lives into stages, each with its own specific goals and evaluation criteria.
The social status quo of "volume" and the high cost of trial and error also make people dare not fall behind.
Whether in school, at work, or at home, in order to stand out from the competition, people need to constantly work hard, improve, and perform well at every "key frame".
Once you fail on a node, you may face serious consequences, such as lost opportunities, reputational damage, etc. The high cost of trial and error makes people afraid to derail, and can only choose to follow the established track.
In Chinese culture, key moments in life are often closely related to traditional customs and social expectations.
These moments are seen as important milestones in life's journey, reflecting the expectations and importance that the country, society and family place on personal growth and development.
China has always focused on collective harmony and family continuity, with rituals and customs celebrating and marking each stage from birth to adulthood.
Full moon wine, 100-day banquet, and flute, coming-of-age ceremony, thirty and standing, forty do not confuse...... The setting of these cut-off points is the way society transmits values and expectations.
Is the "social clock" really that important?
Is the "social clock" a middle-class dead end?
Recently, there was a joke on the Internet: I wanted to have a gap year, but I accidentally became a gap for a lifetime. I wanted to be a digital nomad for two years, but I never expected to become a digital refugee.
The essence of this reflection is actually that because the pace of life is getting faster and faster, our lives are full of key frames, so we can't have a gap year. All the efforts we make are due to the fear of being left behind.
Expectation, anxiety and involution have given birth to the "social clock", and the existence of the "social clock" has intensified people's anxiety and involution.
In general, the group that cares most about the "social clock" is actually the middle class.
Because they have a relatively stable job and income, but at the same time, they also face greater life pressures and social expectations.
For the middle class, the core purpose of living according to the "social clock" is actually to be "present", not to be abandoned by the original rhythm.
The middle class is busy catching up with time to make sure they don't get off the table.
Because only in this way can you maintain your status and sense of identity in society, not be out of touch with the times, and have a chance to succeed at some point in the future.
In contrast, the influence and binding force of the "social clock" on other groups is relatively weak.
The utilitarian way of thinking often makes us forget that the essence of life is a process.
It's important to keep up with the times, but life is not a linear track, but a vast wilderness where everyone can have their own unique path.
is like the line in "Soul Journey": "You may not be able to achieve something to be alive, and life is also good if you only like to look at the sky, walk, and eat pizza." I came to this world just to see how the flowers bloom, how the water flows, how the sun rises, and when the sun sets. Experience interesting things and meet unforgettable people. ”
Catching up with the "social clock" is not the most important thing in life.
If you are too tired, you can also try to stop and feel the temperature of life with a peaceful mind, and maybe you can just find a more suitable path.