Zhang Defen said:
"The people, things, and things in this world are a mirror that reflects our inner being."
In other words, the way we look at others reflects our hearts.
Open-minded and generous people are beautiful as far as the eye can see, and everything they want is beautiful.
People who are calculating, obsessed with trivial details, are full of problems, and no one is pleasing to the eye.
Therefore, if you don't like others, it is likely that your own realm is not enough.
If you don't like others, you have a low level
In the last years of the Yuan Dynasty, when the world was in turmoil, Guo Zixing of the landlord class gathered thousands of rebels to occupy Haozhou, and the ranks gradually grew and the power became stronger and stronger.
At this time, Zhu Yuanzhang was still quietly banging the bell in the temple, but with the change of the situation, rebellion became his only way to live.
So, he took refuge in the rebel army led by Guo Zixing.
In the army, Zhu Yuanzhang's talent was outstanding, and he was promoted in just two months.
However, he was disgusted by Guo Zixing, because Guo Zixing couldn't stand a person stronger than himself by his side.
Finally one day, Guo Zixing put Zhu Yuanzhang in prison, hoping that he would starve to death.
But fortunately, the kind-hearted horse girl secretly brought him food, and he was able to survive.
After Zhu Yuanzhang was released, he took the initiative to ask to lead troops to fight.
At this time, Guo Zixing had a bad idea again, and sent Zhu Yuanzhang to Dingyuan, where the situation was grim, thinking that it was best to let him die here.
It is precisely because Guo Zixing is jealous that he has the heart of harming others.
And in this world, some people are jealous of the virtuous, and some people respect the virtuous and love the talented.
At the end of Qin, on the eve of Liu Xiang's struggle for the world, Han Xin offered Xiang Yu many times, but he was never accepted and went to Liu Bang.
Xiao He felt that Han Xin was a talent, so he vigorously recommended Liu Bang, but Liu Bang didn't attach importance to him.
Seeing that Liu Bang had no intention of reusing himself, Han Xin was discouraged and disappointed, and decided to leave.
When Xiao He heard about this, he knew the consequences of losing Han Xin, so he hurried up and went to catch up.
On the way out, Han Xin also thought that he was leaving like this, whether he had lived up to Xiao He's heart,
The more I thought about it, the more sorry I felt, and finally gave up the idea of leaving and decided to go back to Xiao He.
On the way back, he happened to meet Xiao He, who was anxiously coming, and the two returned to Liu Bang's camp together.
However, Liu Bang still did not reuse Han Xin, Xiao He saw this, so he tried his best to recommend Han Xin as a general, Liu Bang finally listened to his advice, and then decided to make Han Xin a general.
It can be seen that Xiao He has no selfish intentions for the sage, but wholeheartedly lets him be reused.
"Fireside Night Chat" says:
"If there are many people in the world, Germany will advance day by day."
When you see people with both ability and political integrity, you can learn with an appreciative attitude and use your strength to see further.
And love and cherish talents, strive to lift them upward, and also give people roses, leaving a lingering fragrance in your hands.
If it is jealous, it will tear its heart apart like a demon, and its psychology will gradually distort, turning it into a butcher's knife, and eventually harming others and itself.
Therefore, low-level people often can't tolerate the excellence of others, so they look at people everywhere unpleasantly.
And people with a high realm know how to appreciate others, and their hearts are more peaceful.
I can't get used to looking at others, and I am too competitive with human nature
There is a story in "The Biography of Meng Weijun":
Meng Weijun was the prime minister of the Qi State, and in order to consolidate his power, he often recruited talents, and there were 3,000 diners under his door.
But what he didn't expect was that the Qin State used a discordant strategy, Meng Weijun was removed from the post of prime minister by King Min, and the diners left him one after another.
Later, Feng Tan used a trick to reinstate Meng Weijun, so he was very disgusted with those diners, and sighed to Feng Tan:
"I used to be hospitable, but when I lost power, they all turned their backs on me.
Now that you have reinstated me, see what face they have to see me, and I will reproach them to my face. ”
But Feng Tan said:
"When you are rich, everyone comes to you;
When they are down, they disperse one after another, which is a matter of course.
Just like the market, the morning is lively because people ask for something; And the night is deserted, because there is nothing to ask for.
When you lose your high position, the diners disperse, and it is precisely because there is nothing to ask for in you, so it is human nature, and there is nothing to resent. ”
When Meng Weijun heard this, it suddenly dawned on him that when the diners gathered again, he treated them as usual.
Originally, Meng Changjun couldn't get used to seeing them pursue advantages and avoid disadvantages, and wanted to ridicule them, precisely because he couldn't see through human nature.
And as the old saying goes:
"Gather for profit, and disperse for profit."
It's just human nature.
The reason why some people are too others is because they have too much expectation of humanity.
However, this is often disappointing.
Because people are born with a dark side.
If you refuse to admit it, pinning such expectations on others is demanding, and when others fail to meet the requirements, you have to leave;
But pinning your expectations on yourself is undoubtedly putting yourself in the position of "Our Lady", which turns into pressure over time.
In fact, there are also times when people do not allow others to have a dark side, and never ask for themselves, which is obviously a double standard.
Therefore, only by understanding human nature can we see through human nature, not criticize others, and not force ourselves, so that life will have less unnecessary troubles and more relaxation.
The biggest pattern of people is to look at everyone who is pleasing to the eye
Zigong, a student of Confucius, once asked Confucius:
"Teacher, which word can be used as a lifelong guideline?"
Confucius answers:
"That's probably 'forgiveness.'"
"Forgiveness" means forgiveness.
A person with extraordinary spirit can often tolerate people and things.
During the Three Kingdoms period of Shu, after the death of Zhuge Liang, Jiang Wan served as the prime minister to preside over the government, and the world was peaceful during his tenure.
Jiang Wan has a subordinate named Yang Xi, who is arrogant and silent.
When Jiang Wan talked to him, he was often silent.
Someone didn't like this, and deliberately said in front of Jiang Wan:
"This person is too disrespectful to you, and it's really excessive."
And Jiang Wan did not echo or remain silent, but retorted to him:
"People have different personalities, and one thing in front of you and one thing behind your back is what you shouldn't do.
Yang Xi didn't praise me to my face, it was because of his personality. He didn't scold me to my face, he took care of my face.
So being silent, this is not his preciousness. ”
This remark shows that Jiang Wan has no prejudices about treating others, and the shortcomings in the eyes of others are advantages in his eyes.
However, he was also open to the slander of others.
Yang Min, the superintendent, once said bad things about Jiang Wan behind his back, saying that he was not sure of doing things, and he was not as good as the former prime minister at all.
So someone reported to Jiang Wan, and the official in charge asked him to be punished, but Jiang Wan refused to deal with it.
Later, this person committed an accident, and everyone speculated that Jiang Wan would take the opportunity to take revenge, but he generously interceded for him.
Everyone else was upset about him, but he said calmly:
"I'm not as good as the former prime minister, this is a fact, everyone knows it, and I'm not afraid of what people say.
He committed something today, and I only hope that he will be punished justly. ”
As a leader, Jiang Wan will not blame his subordinates too much for their flaws;
For those who are disrespectful, they will not be put to death.
Moreover, during Jiang Wan's tenure, he governed the country in a good way and was upright, winning the respect of everyone.
As the old saying goes:
"The gentleman is not extremely numerous, and his chest swallows a hundred rivers."
It means that a gentleman has no limit to his broad-mindedness, and he can accept all rivers with a grand mind.
Obviously, this is a state of mind, and it is also a kind of wisdom.
Broad-minded people know that when they are critical of others, they are also embarrassing themselves.
They will not stick to the right and wrong in front of them, stand tall, see far, and can achieve great things.
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There is a line in the movie "Nezha Demon Boy Descends to the World":
"The prejudice in people's hearts is like a mountain, even if you try a thousand times harder, you don't want to move the slightest."
Yes, people always like to associate with others with prejudice, thinking that they see others clearly.
As everyone knows, it is to impose one's own will on others.
If you are narrow-minded, you will feel that the excellence of others is an eyesore;
If you are confused, you will kidnap others morally.
However, throughout our lives, we encounter ourselves, examine ourselves for ourselves, and know ourselves for ourselves.
Only by improving one's own realm and understanding the world can one tolerate all things, see everything pleasing to the eye, and live freely.
Author | Ziqiao · SDX, a post-00s writer who is firm and motivated, and serious about coding words.
Photography | Submitted by Ziqiao photography enthusiasts.