A friend asked you to borrow money and agreed to repay you in 3 months, but the date of repayment is getting closer and closer, and the other party still doesn't mention the intention of repaying you.
You think, "Wait, maybe he forgot."
Three months have passed, and you are still making excuses for the other party.
You waited for another month, and the other party not only did not pay back the money, but also did not take the initiative to contact you, at which point you made an excuse to remind the other party that it was time to pay back.
But his attitude makes you very uncomfortable.
It's like: You're begging him to pay him back.
The person who asks you to borrow money stands in a high position, with a cold attitude and no gratitude;
The person who lent out the money stood in a low position, and he was not appreciated for what he paid.
The act of "borrowing money" is one of the more troublesome things in social relationships.
The moment you decide to lend to the other party, you should be prepared that the money will not be recovered;
So from the very beginning, you have to keep a bottom in your heart: How much can I afford to lose? Is my friendship with the other person worth it?
If you think that you are surrounded by good people, people who are as particular and reliable as you, then you are living in the "world of Truman".
Once someone or something breaks your preconceived notions, your faith will collapse.
In social life, if you want to be respected and not bullied by the other party, you have to recognize the weaknesses of human nature.
When you are too kind, others will take advantage of your kindness;
When you are overly enthusiastic, everything you give becomes a matter of course;
When you always compromise, others will test you and bully you.
Never try to test human nature, because if you try it right, you will lose.
-01
Whether others respect you or not depends only on "your worth"
In other words:
Your relationship with anyone does not depend on your blood relationship, not on the length of time you have known each other, but only on your worth.
"No one asks about the poor in the downtown area, but the rich have distant relatives in the mountains"
"The Tree Falls Down"
The weakness of human nature is like this, seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages.
When you are worthless, no one will respect you, no one will listen to you;
Even if what you say is right and correct, everyone will not agree with you and recognize you on face.
In the adult world, truth and correctness are in the hands of "high-value people"; Either you have money or you have social status.
The richest man in the world is very rich, he doesn't lend you money, you think it's right;
Your relatives at home want to do business and ask you to borrow 50,000 yuan, but if you don't borrow it, you will lose your conscience, be ungrateful, and have no humanity.
If you want to be respected, if you want to fight for more voice for yourself, if you want to fight for more security for your family, you have to make yourself a high-value person.
For example:
You either have money, you have the ability, you have a high enough charisma, or you can speak well and have high emotional intelligence.
You deal with anyone, on any occasion, and everyone only looks at your value.
Remember, it's anyone.
Some people will retort: "I've known my friends for so many years, and we don't care if we have money or not, how can I say that?" ”
You have to understand that socialization is divided into: utilitarian socialization and emotional socialization.
You offer each other emotional value, isn't that value?
When you have no emotional value, do you want to be friends with the other person?
In the marriage market, your value is the marriage and love resources you can leverage;
If you are good enough, you will not be bad at finding someone;
You have nothing of your own, and it's basically impossible to pry into a higher partner.
-02
Where there is no response, there is a desperate situation
As long as you give, you will want to give back.
Even if you love someone very much, you pay for each other without complaint in the early stage of getting along, you are willing;
But the longer you spend together, the more you give, and the subconscious you expect the other person to respond to you.
Once the other person doesn't give you any response, you will be disappointed;
If you are disappointed for a long time, you will be screwed, there will be internal friction, and in the end, it will become your "emotional desperate situation".
You're going to be disappointed with a lot of people, a lot of relationships.
"Why do I give so much and not be cherished?"
"Why do I think so much about others, but no one thinks about me?"
"I'm reluctant to buy things myself, I'm reluctant to spend money, and I've given them to the other party, but the other party doesn't treat me well?"
……
How to avoid this dilemma?
You can give, but after you give, stop and wait for the other person's response;
If there is a response, it moves on to the next stage of giving and interacting;
If the other party doesn't give you anything in return, and takes your good for granted, then you stop giving.
The more embarrassed you are, the more you want to save face, and the less you will refuse, the more the other party will pinch you, demand you, and bully you.
If you want to be respected and looked down upon, either you have high value, or you are assertive and ruthless.
Topic:
What do you see through when dealing with people?
Author He Suohuan:
Focus on the analysis of gender emotion, marriage and family, character growth, social relationships, etc., follow me to bring you more knowledge.