Liu Lingzhong's Selected Short Stories Serialized (1146)

Waiting for you on the balcony (4)

Zhao Jian and Hu Li have been married for about half a year from acquaintance, even if six months is not short, in fact, the two have never been in love. Of course, I met on a blind date, the old rules in the countryside. How to say this, the two of them are just acquaintances at most, they meet and talk about their part-time work experience, not much to say, Hu Li has worked in the service industry, Zhao Jian is embarrassed to tell me. In fact, I knew it might be a sexual service-related venue, and I wouldn't be stupid enough to break it in front of him. Hu Li occasionally said something to Zhao Jian, and often she laughed first halfway through the conversation, and stopped in moderation. Obviously, it was something she thought was very funny, but it didn't even sound interesting to Zhao Jian. As the saying goes, if he happens to be worried about something, he will even be angry because of it, or as if he has a premonition that a catastrophe is coming, Hu Li publicly ridiculed Zhao Jian for being rare and strange, and he didn't know how to go straight to the bridge. Now young people in the countryside must also pay attention to free love, but it is not as romantic as on TV, and it is indeed introduced by acquaintances, and matchmakers only play the role of building bridges. Through Zhao Jian's several intermittent descriptions of his short marriage in the room of the Iron Factory Hotel, I feel that the two of them have always looked at each other across the river. Maybe both of them are vaguely aware that there is indeed a bridge, and it is not a simple cheating marriage, she actually has an ordinary desire to take back her heart and live a serious life. It may be that they have too many concerns, and they themselves are not good at expressing themselves, so they have been standing on both sides of the river, even if one of them has been standing by the bridge, but they have never really crossed the bridge.

"How can you say that Tian Sen is so romantic." Zhao Jian said with a smile.

"Is that romantic? I don't think so. I smiled.

"Maybe it's true." Zhao Jian thought about it and said.

The marriage of rural people is mainly to have an explanation to their parents, to their neighbors, and not to live as a joke. And from your own point of view, sex life is the key, having offspring is not an unintentional by-product, it is definitely just needed, otherwise marriage will also become a joke for everyone, saying that the city routine is deep, but in fact, the country road is more slippery. Rural people are kind by nature, live simply, and simply, it is simply a fairy tale of a winter in modern China, and Zhao Jian feels that the well-fed writer writes beyond recognition, either hideous, or they are all panda babies, and never go through the brain. I think he went to extremes because of his marriage setback, which is understandable, of course, I don't dare to persuade him with many good people, so I may also be ridiculed by Zhao Jian. The two of them never hugged each other and cried, swore that they would not separate, and they might even dislike each other during their time together, my treasure hunting partner never realized that there were the smallest and most subtle changes in the relationship between husband and wife, and Zhao Jian paid more attention to the well-known events with his wife. It's not terrible that they don't understand each other, and they are subconsciously unwilling to try to recognize each other, which may be the source of the tragedy.

"Tian Sen, you're right, this is the most terrifying."

"Marriage is not the same as living a partner, chicken feathers, much more complicated than thinking about in love. You don't get it. ”

"I thought it was the happiness of two people."

"The two of them are not picking mushrooms in the small forest after the rain."

"After being married for so long, she didn't have a bulging belly, and she didn't have anything to handle. It is also a reason to suspect the other party. ”

There is a sentence that Zhao Jian has always been vague about me, he may suspect that Hu Li could not conceive due to her work relationship before she knew herself, due to her work relationship, she did not take precautions in place, and she had frequent abortions. Zhao Jian himself went to work in a coastal city at the age of seventeen, because of indiscretion, he contracted venereal diseases, he said it was gonorrhea and genital warts, but it was later cured, which may have left a shadow in Zhao Jian's heart. After Hu Li ran away with someone, he couldn't find that warmth.

"I wanted to have gentleness that belongs only to me. It's not excessive, it's not fireworks. It's a lamp in the room. ”

"Later, you'll have that little right to burst into tears."

"I can't find Hu Li's whereabouts, I often have nightmares."

Zhao Jian and I set off from the Iron Factory Hotel to look for a cat cemetery in the surrounding Nansour jujube forest. There is a bottomless canyon with cliffs on both sides, and small chain bridges sway gently in the misty light, but in fact the wind is not too strong. The sun only shines on the deck of the chain bridge very briefly at noon, and the miscellaneous wooden planks that are paved are mainly the southern jujube trees, covered with mottled moss, and even many fungi. I know lactobacillus, odontomycetes, filamentous mushrooms, and goose mushrooms. There are spiders and wax cicadas on bushes and grasses.

"I didn't dare to tell her about my unrequited love for my eldest sister who had contracted me STDs during my part-time job, and this also affected my mood about sex to some extent."

"Do you feel a sense of fear?" I asked Zhao Jian.

"But after I got married, I desperately tried to forget about her, and soon I really did. When I do that kind of thing with Hu Li, I will inexplicably think of her whether it is snowing there and the sun is not big. ”

"You just went back to your hometown to leave that factory."

"I didn't expect that I would be a guest at most in the wedding room."

"When is the head, you might think."

"I can't quit, including the same unspeakable problem with her, I only dare to tell Tian Sen about it. After getting married, the freezing rain was finally over, and I quickly found a small remote toilet in a new part-time factory, a new environment, under the protection of the dim light, afraid of disturbing. ”

"That must have been after the contagion."

"To my astonishment, I became a piece of waste."

And then the urge in the factory toilet was miraculously returned.

I recall the old photo, when I was young, I leaned on one side of the iron rope, and played the guitar in a posture, and the picture was fixed on my melancholy and somewhat helpless eyes. I spotted a bright creek at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Sometimes soothing, sometimes it looks like a galloping roar, like a wild horse unleashed.

My partner and I were standing on a huge gray-black reef by the stream, the water was gray-green, and the part was calm, but there was foam floating. Zhao Jian swam naked in the icy pool of bones for more than a dozen times, without muddying the water.

Zhao Jian, who was standing barefoot on the top of a huge rock, made a move that wanted to fly, I didn't dare to dive. Next to us were cliffs, and even worse, I found a cunning water serpent, which hid most of its body, just carefully hiding in a cage of weeds in the water, and only slightly raised its head. There is no doubt that Zhao Jian did not find out. I was even afraid to remind him that if he was distracted and hit his head on a rock, the consequences could be imagined. I continued to sit on the stone and ponder, and if I was not careful, I was afraid that no one would find the snake. I don't know, I just mistake it for a dead tree that fell into the water.

"Why don't you sit on a stone and bask in the sun."

"Even that impulse is gone."

"I also once found pleasure in an instant explosion in the squatting position in the boys' toilet at school, and I couldn't quit once I started."

"When I was in middle school, I noticed that most of my classmates did this kind of thing."

"But there were a lot of people, I mean, who quickly shifted their interest to good-looking, fair-skinned female classmates. When I was in my third year of junior high school, I paid attention to a girl in my class surnamed Jiang, who later died of leukemia. ”

"The reason is simple, because you really need it."

"It's more likely that she thinks she's doing well in school." I say.

"You quietly thought in your heart, take care of classmate Jiang in the future."

"Yes, I was very willing, I had a demonic disease."

"Unfortunately, she died not long after." Zhao Jian sighed.

"Everything must be accounted for." I nodded in acknowledgement.

The two of us continued to walk forward. A slope, strange rocks, deep valleys, shallow stone nests, small stone crevices and overgrown with the kind of evergreen plants that have been washed by flowing water for many years. In the blink of an eye, there is a large steep cliff.

"You're going to find her in the foot-washing city where Hu Li works?"

"Let's go together, I'm really worried about the air. Since Hu Li threatened me with drinking pesticides in the bathroom of my hometown, I have been afraid to see her eyes. Her business has nothing to do with me. ”

"By this time, she must have died several times."

"Can you help me ask her what she thinks? Tian Sen. ”

"Don't overestimate your place in her heart."

"There's really no way, so she writes a letter." He said.

The stream twisted and turned, throwing beads and splashing jade, and the white water fell straight into the deep pool. Zhao Jian felt hot again and sweated profusely.

Gray-green, as if soaked in a layer of oil, it looked like the color of oil, my treasure finding partner was naked, he was quiet, serene, and motionless, lying on his back on the face of the yin pool that was about to solidify, and his limbs were stretched out as best he could. There were a few leaves that had just been blown off from some tree and fell around him, and in three or five places, including the gradual expansion of the ripples, created an atmosphere that I will never forget.

"Does Hu Li smoke? She may be narcissistic. I asked.

"It's about the same as you, I can smoke, but I don't have much of an addiction."

I stared at Zhao Jian for a long time: "You will suffer yourself." ”

"But I'm quite disgusted that she smokes." Zhao Jian said.

"So you two have to be separated temporarily, because you don't need each other. The mood is already irritable. It's actually okay to find a place to work, but you imagine that she might still be crowded. ”

"I was terrified of Hu Li renting a house outside. Immediately after that, a lot of things happened again, and it was really tiring. ”

"You've become a mother-in-law all of a sudden." I say.

He laughed: "I never said I was a cheerful person." ”

"You're really just playing lazy." I say.

"That's not good, I have to ask you to go to the Demon Palace."

What Zhao Jian likes most is the loneliness of lying flat in the water, and I can only see the posture. Zhao Jian told me that in fact, it was very cold in the water, but Zhao Jian was willing to endure it, lying like this for a long time, even a landslide, and burying him in a cold and damp puddle that may never dry up.

He repeatedly stressed to me, Tian Sen, you must know that I never had any reason to do this. Including in front of Hu Li, I haven't done it, and I'm afraid of being naked in front of anyone. Naked and without evil thoughts, even thinking about it is terrifying.

"At that moment, it really seemed like I was a different person."

"The radical method really can't take effect, and it's numb."

"You've never been a pot-thrower."

"If I can't be simple, then I'll go along with it."

Tian Sen, it's actually inconvenient for me to explain it to you. In short, no matter how hard I tried, I always felt that I couldn't do it, and that brief moment seemed to be enough. Say ugly things in front, and if you use bad words, you will compensate me for a brand new one.

"It's up to me to see if I'm happy!" I grimaced at Zhao Jian, and only then did I find out from him that he was a little naughty, and more often, he was fully qualified to be a competent treasure search partner. The child and Zhao Jian overlapped, and only when he was satisfied did he suddenly realize that he was still quite young, and others could believe his real age.

"I'm not even thirty years old." Zhao Jian said.