For a long time, marriage was "the word of the matchmaker of the parents" for many people. In ancient times, if any adult man or woman reached the marriageable age but did not get married, they would not only be urged and constantly drawn by their parents and other relatives, but would also attract strange glances from their neighbors, as if they had committed some great precepts.
And even today, when the economy and civilization are highly developed, the terms "leftover women" and "leftover men" are still coined to satirize those who do not marry.
Because starting a family is the only way to live in the eyes of most people, it is the foundation of the family and the destination of love, so the popularity of blind date shows, parents in the park corner with their children's personal information to help them find a partner, etc., these phenomena are not uncommon.
But there are exceptions to the universal, and Tie Ning, chairman of the Chinese Writers Association, is such a special existence. In the first half of her life, she never felt anxious or hated to marry because of marriage, she kept waiting, and said firmly: "I'd rather not have than make do with a marriage." ”
finally waited for true love at the age of 54, the president of Yenching Huaqiao University - Watson. What does the first half of a life look like for a woman who is completely different from ordinary people? When everyone around her got married and had children and moved to the next stage of her life, did she waver?
A childhood like no other
Tie Ning was born into a family of scholars, his father was a famous oil painter, and his mother was also a music professor at a local university. Having been influenced by her parents' art since she was a child, she naturally has a more keen insight and high sensitivity to the environment and people.
While her friends are playing around together, she just wants to stay at home and read, perhaps because of her personality or because she prefers the colorful world in the sea of books.
All in all, when her parents taught her painting and music, although she also listened carefully and did her homework meticulously, her mother found that this six-year-old girl was the most energetic and happiest every time she read a book, but her face never had such a bright smile in the process of learning music.
So her doting parents bought her a study, which opened the way for the future famous writer to write.
Tie Ning said: "From childhood to adulthood, my most memorable and happiest times were spent in this small room, which carried almost all my joys, sorrows, and those things that no one knew. So she set up an ideal from a young age – to be a writer when she grows up.
When she graduated from high school, she wrote her first novel, The Flying Scythe, which was published in children's literature, and the recognition of the publishing house and some letters from readers gave her great encouragement, and made her more determined to choose the path of writing.
So after graduating, her family finally found a way to help her find a job as a literary soldier in the art troupe, she sternly rejected her parents, and made the biggest decision that surprised her parents - to go to the mountains and go to the countryside.
Years of passion for creation
This decision was almost unreasonable in the eyes of her parents, because all the young people at that time were forced to go to the countryside to renovate, and not knowing when they would return to the city meant living a life of hardship and hunger.
But once Tie Ning made up his mind, ten cows couldn't pull it back. Her parents also knew their daughter's stubbornness and persistence deeply, so they didn't persuade her after telling her what she was about to face, but just told her to pack her bags and prepare psychologically.
The young and vigorous Tie Ning felt that if he did not go deep into the masses, it would be better to go to the vast fields to feel the unique atmosphere of China, and he would never be able to write an article that touched people's hearts and resonated with people.
In this way, she lived a life of sweating in the scorching sun during the day and writing hard at night. Although her life is poor, she is very fulfilling, because she likes the simple and innocent people around her, and she also likes the feeling of stepping on the loess and having true feelings.
At a young age, with her infinite sincerity in writing and her deep love for the yellow earth, she created many excellent short stories such as "The Rose Girl" and "Bathing Flowers".
Subsequently, she successfully joined the editorial department of the Federation of Literary and Art Circles "Huashan" as an editor, which also started her years of passionate creation.
In 1982, "Oh, Xiangxue" was published, which won numerous awards, and also made her enter the public eye for the first time, and since then, she has published many popular works such as "Red Shirt Without Buttons" and "White Nights of Women".
She said that when she was in her twenties and thirties, she seemed to have countless sources of inspiration, and as long as she wanted to write, she would definitely be able to write a short article. She is destined to be different from mortals, she is a born writer!
The concept of love that is rather lacking than excessive
As her reputation grew, she was elected vice president of the Hebei Federation of Literary and Art Circles, and in 2007 she was elected president of the Chinese Writers Association, which is not only an affirmation of her writing ability, but also a recognition of her management ability.
However, she has a smooth career, and she seems to be unsatisfactory on the road of love, when she was close to thirty years old, some reporters began to ask her if she had a partner, and when she wanted to get married. She said calmly: "I'm not celibate, I've always had a beautiful vision of love and marriage, but fate can't be rushed, so I'll wait, I think no matter what age you have the right to enjoy love." ”
She also stubbornly and arrogantly adheres to the view that it is better to have less than to have more. Her friend asked her, "Do you envy all the friends around you who are getting married and having children?" She said: "Envy is naturally envy, but I think life is colorful, I enjoy the sense of celibacy and unrestrained, I never worry about not getting married, I think even if I can't wait for that person in the second half of my life, I can take good care of myself." ”
Finally, when she was 54 years old, she met her Romeo, which was a long-lasting love, and it was also a match between two souls who deeply resonated with art and the world.
Brief summary:
Therefore, we, who have always been disciplined by society and dominated by the eyes of the outside world, should learn from Tie Ning and learn to break free from the shackles and shackles of the outside world.
Because everyone is qualified to choose what life to live, after all, life is short, as long as you don't hurt others, whether you marry late or not, it's enough to enjoy yourself.