Psychologist Adler once said:
"People's troubles arise from relationships."
One of the major contradictions of human beings is that people cannot be completely separated from each other, but once they intersect together, there will also be all kinds of contradictions and frictions.
Therefore, many people's troubles are just because of interpersonal relationships.
However, since the problem exists, then a really smart person, a mature person, thinks about how to solve it, not complain.
That is to say, as long as a person is willing, then in fact, there is a golden rule for interpersonal interactions.
As long as we can do the following three things, I believe that most of the troubles in interpersonal relationships will stay away from us.
Don't take advantage
The reason why there are some contradictions and some unpleasantness when people communicate with each other is that one of them likes to take advantage of others too much.
People who like to take advantage of others, no matter who they communicate with, will make the other person feel embarrassed, unhappy, and even angry.
Indeed, people who like to take advantage have always belonged to the kind of selfish people.
Such a person will definitely lead to his own life path getting narrower and narrower because of his personal character.
As the writer Mader put it:
"No one in this world likes people who love to take advantage, but everyone likes people who love to lose.
When you think about losing, you win others. ”
In fact, a person also likes to take advantage, and the more the person's personality is picked.
Then in the process of interpersonal communication, these people are easy to become like an iron rooster, only oppressing others, and never letting themselves suffer.
Such people always think that they are very smart and know how to calculate.
But in fact, this kind of person just likes to calculate, just likes to take advantage.
Those who refuse to suffer losses will definitely suffer big losses in the end, and those who like to take advantage will never be able to take advantage of real advantages.
Regardless of whether it is right or wrong
I've seen a sentence like this:
"High-quality relationships are the main source of happiness."
If you want to have high-quality relationships, smart people must know not to judge others.
People who always chew their tongues behind their backs and talk about others are actually immoral.
At the very least, people who like to evaluate others are also very small.
Because people who are truly mature in their hearts and have their own things to be busy with, how can they have time? Have the leisure to talk about others?
If you don't have enough time to do your own thing, why bother others?
Therefore, smart people will not meddle in their affairs, let alone discuss right and wrong.
In life, if you want everyone to be better together and get along happily, you must respect each other and set up a stage for each other.
If you always talk about this and evaluate that, over time, others will doubt your character and even stay away from you.
In everyone's heart, there is a scale, don't use your standards, to discuss, to evaluate other people's standards, this is extremely irrational and immoral.
Instead of taking advantage of others and squeezing others, it is better to treat each other sincerely and treat them kindly, but you can win the love and trust of others.
Don't be embarrassed
Huang Bo said in a speech: "The real high emotional intelligence is not to make people feel embarrassed." ”
Indeed, people with high emotional intelligence, no matter how they look, what their family background, and what their abilities are, can still win the likes and recognition of others in interpersonal relationships.
To put it bluntly, people who really have high emotional intelligence are people who have high cognition and high pattern.
Such people do not like to embarrass others, have empathy, and have compassion.
In the face of interests, we can weigh them, and in the face of right and wrong, we can weigh them.
In short, you can give others steps, affection, and leave a way back for yourself.
Such a person is actually a person with high emotional intelligence, that is, he can not embarrass others at the same time, and at the same time, he can indeed be heart-to-heart and have a clear conscience.
In this way, you will definitely rely on yourself to become better and better, and you will definitely be able to rely on yourself to live more and more freely.
Because I have reached some kind of spiritual and spiritual reconciliation with myself and with others.
In the end, not embarrassing others is to leave a way out for yourself and accumulate blessings for yourself.