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"You don't have an eye for me, and I have an opinion on you" "You're spreading the bag?" Wait for you, you find a babysitter to go! A few days ago, an excerpt from the elderly blind date program "The Fate Is Not Late" was left on the network, and several female guests faced the male guests with pickiness and bluntly responded, which unexpectedly became a love bible sought after by young people. The old aunt who is on the TV blind date program speaks directly and sentence by sentence, and for them, love is no longer a throbbing of youth. Seeking one last partner before reaching the end of their lives is what they believe in being right about themselves.
Hardcore blind dates
On the way from Baicheng in Jilin to Songyuan, 78-year-old Zhou Shuying said to the red bride: "Today is a special anniversary for me, and it is fate that I met you at this age, and I remember it forever and never forget it." ”
A few days ago, Zhou Shuying watched Jilin Satellite TV's middle-aged and elderly blind date program "It's Not Too Late" at home, and a master Zhang, who was the same age as her and had been a teacher, showed his honorary certificate and book collection, and said bluntly and quickly, "I want to find a wife who does not mention money to me, I don't want money, and I have deep feelings." At the end of the show, Uncle Zhang failed to date him, and the woman did not meet him.
Zhou Shuying saw it and moved her mind. Before she watched the show, only to watch a hilarious, this day the person who suddenly appeared on the TV just met the standards of her wife in her heart, tall, spiritual, and more importantly, culturally cultivated. When she was young, Zhou Shuying worked as a teacher in the village primary school for several years, or the principal of the art school, with a strong job, and in her later years, she also liked to read books and specialize in study.
Zhou Shuying wrote down the program hotline, dialed the phone the next day, came up and said, "I just liked that person." ”
Before leaving, she picked a red dress to change into, dyed her hair black, and did not have any other modifications, no powder, no lipstick.
Two hours away, Red Niang and Zhou Shuying arrived at Uncle Zhang's home at nearly 12 noon. Entering the community, Uncle Zhang stood at the window opening to watch, beckoning, opening the door to welcome their arrival.
Standing at the door, the red lady formally introduced each other's names to the two, and Uncle Zhang had a faint expression and did not take the initiative to shake hands. At the same time that Zhou Shuying turned around, Uncle Zhang's hand unconsciously touched her back and quickly shrank back. Red Lady's eyes pointed out: "Oh, Auntie is a little hunchbacked, isn't it?" Uncle Zhang immediately said, "Not a little, it's a rather humpty." Zhou Shuying really heard this.
After entering the house, Uncle Zhang looked at Zhou Shuying from head to toe, and then, in front of his face, he said, "I am one meter tall and seventy-two, and I am a hundred years old, and my waist is also straight." After listening, Zhou Shuying was very calm, "I was originally one meter seven, and now I have shrunk." She didn't explain the reason for the hunchback, nor did she refute it.
Red Niang tried to lead the topic elsewhere, saying that Aunt Zhou had come to see the show and had seen Uncle Zhang's experience as a teacher. Immediately, Uncle Zhang opened the conversation box and introduced his work. Zhou Shuying is very happy, she wants the other party to know more about herself, along the topic that she is also a teacher, talking about her early work experience. Uncle Zhang listened, and several times he wanted to stop talking, and finally he raised his hand and simply interrupted: "Jing said that the five levels and six generals, can you serve me?" Hearing this, Zhou Shuying did not have any worries, turned her head behind her back and asked him: "Why do I serve you, can't you serve me, can't we serve each other?" ”
Figure | Screenshot of the show
No one expected such a scene to appear, and the Red Lady pulled Uncle Zhang aside to persuade him. After persuasion, Uncle Zhang still said a word: "I don't serve you, but you have to serve me, wait until I die, and leave a sum of money for her to go to the nursing home." ”
Zhou Shuying was angry, crossed her waist, and said to the camera: "You stall, I will serve you, find a nanny to go." After saying that, she was anxious to leave, and when she went downstairs, she said to the red lady: "He thinks I'm old, I'm embarrassed to say, he wants to find a young man." ”
Zhou Shuying also recalled a detail, the fruit plate on the table was placed with four fruits, a pile of red peaches, a yellow pile, and apricots and small tomatoes. "So fine, cut, cut to the home." She said. She took out her bag and wanted to invite guests to dinner, but uncle had already eaten a sentence and pushed the words back. The two eventually broke up.
With good expectations to meet but out of control blind date, 73-year-old Pu Fang also met.
Pu Fang is also watching TV and taking the initiative to call the hotline. The two met in the park, and Pu Fang came up and asked: "Do you see what my eyes look like?" The man said: I see almost. After listening, Pu Fang decided to preemptively attack and said: You have an old face, what else do you pick. After the other party left, she said her heart to the staff: he was too cold to me, did not look at me, he could not look at me, I still could not look at him.
Afterwards, a clip of Zhou Shuying and Pu Fang's blind date was made into a short video and spread on the Internet, causing concern. "There are no fewer unreliable uncles than unreliable young men." Netizens commented. "It's Not Too Late" producer Gao Pengju defined the show as a blind date reality show, he said that the show is filmed outdoors, most of the time in the old man's own home, the guests' "reality" and "hardcore", but also reflects the reality of the elderly blind date program, "the old man on the show, only to find a wife for a purpose." ”
From the launch of the program in 2020 to the present, the ratio of male and female blind dates is 1:10. Although there are more women and fewer men, the old aunts will never settle down during the blind date. Looking at the previous programs, there are many famous scenes of blind dates: a grandfather said bluntly, in half a year, you can lose 20 pounds, I will come and drive to pick you up. Big Mom asked rhetorically: Do you want to be standard or die. There is also a grandfather who is disgusted with the other party's smoking, and proposes to let the aunt quit smoking, and the aunt resolutely refuses: it is impossible to quit smoking, and I will not meet the sun tomorrow. A big mother wanted to find a cultured, the uncle said, did not study, the big mother immediately said: "Not my dish, I am so frank." The fragment later spread online, and the phrase became a golden phrase.
After the show, Zhou Shuying unexpectedly received many phone calls, and the old sister who had not been in contact for a long time called to care about her and also wanted to introduce her to the object. Zhou Shuying shook her head when she heard the other person's age, "People are only more than 50, I am almost 80, we are together, then what have I become." ”
"If you can be there, you can't grasp the next one"
Zhang Xiaoju after the 80s is the gold medal red bride of the "Fate is Not Late" program group, who has been in the industry for 8 years, in the northeast, which is called a matchmaker. At first, she helped young lads and girls find partners, and later opened a new program, focusing on blind dates for middle-aged and elderly people.
If the love of young people is full of romanticism and all kinds of temptations to say goodbye, there is a kind of bluntness and intransigence in the elderly. Zhang Xiaoju said that the elderly use an extremely frank attitude to deconstruct their own emotional concept of marriage and love, regardless of right or wrong, undisguised.
Pu Fang is an "old acquaintance" in the show and has been on the show twice. Last June, the first time she went on a blind date on the show, she was the protagonist, and the red lady introduced her to two male guests at one time.
Pu Fang bluntly said in the show that her criteria for finding an old wife: no smoking, no drinking, it will hurt people, it is best to have a little literary and artistic cells.
The first uncle was 74 years old, belonging to the pig, Pu Fang was very satisfied, said: The pig is good, I checked it on the gua book to find the pig. The two looked at each other and smiled, and the first time they passed. Then, they asked each other straight away: "Is there medical insurance?" How much is the pension? Uncle's pension is 500 yuan less than Pu Fang's, he did not feel that he could not hang on to his face, but felt very good, "We will not be poor in our two lives." "After saying that, he immediately took out his medicare card from his bag." People are real. The more Pu Fang looked, the more satisfied she became.
Seeing the woman's attitude, the uncle took the initiative to confess his love affair: after the death of his wife, he found a woman who was 15 years younger than himself, the woman was originally the nanny of the family, the two did not get a license, the gang passed for 8 years, and then the woman did not say goodbye, and the two broke off contact in a vague way. "She's just trying to get your money." Pu Fang said that uncle did not admit it. "Do you still have contact?" Pu Fang asked. "I broke off early and stopped talking for 3 years."
Immediately after, the two talked about the housing problems they cared about, Pu Fang had independent housing, the other party did not, and the old man lived alone in his son's idle home. "Will my son not let you live one day?" She spoke out about her worries. Independent housing is a more important consideration than pension and double insurance. The last uncle of the blind date asked for her phone, and the first time she did not refuse, but privately she did not call once.
Figure | Zhang Xiaoju is helping the uncles and aunts to go on a blind date
The second uncle has an independent house, a double guarantee, a pension, two daughters, and the daughters have become their own families. Pu Fang, who was outspoken and fast-talking, asked how uncle's ex-wife was doing and asked to see each other's photos. Privately, Pu Fang told Hong Niang that she was comparing herself with the other party's former wife, seeing whether she was stronger than her, "No one wants to find someone worse than her old wife." In the end, the two smoothly held hands.
They lived in the same city, and the day after the show, Pu Fang invited each other to her house to see. Uncle came to her house empty-handed, which made her a little unhappy. After the second contact, Pu Fang felt that the uncle's heart was small, "I watched TV twice, last time he said he earned 2600, and then he said 2400." Pu Fang proposed that the pensions of the two were managed by her, and the uncle said AA, she did not speak again, and politely invited the uncle out of the house.
"If you can be everywhere, you can't grasp the next one", Pu Fang is very crisp.
Zhang Xiaoju said that the elderly are close to each other, and the standards proposed are clear and specific. Each elderly person cares about different points, some people pay attention to the eye rim, some people pay attention to economic conditions. And these standards for finding a wife are often related to the experience of the elderly in the first half of their lives. For example, some elderly people, the previous wife is not good-looking, the personality is not good, so in the second half of life, will specify the opposite of the previous object, hoping to make up for the past lack of emotions.
According to Zhang Xiaoju's observation, the number of elderly people who signed up for the program in recent years is far more female than male. In the elderly blind date market, women are in the ascendant, partly because the elderly men appear younger and more superior than women of the same age, and they hope to find younger and bring out face. Aunts either seek material security or spiritual partners, while uncles are mostly more inclined to service-oriented wives. Whether it is a man or a woman, the first place or both sides are in good health, and only when they are in good health can they have the capital to continue talking.
The elderly value material, but it does not mean that there will be no love between them. The 77-year-old Fu Shuyuan went on a blind date on TV, she said: "At my age, I am almost eighty, and I have been in a companion marriage all my life and have never experienced fierce passion. It wasn't until the footsteps of death were getting closer and closer that I seriously wanted to love once.
Figure | A pair of elderly people arrange blind dates under the camera
Recalling that time on the show, Fu Shuyuan still remembers it vividly. She is a primary school teacher in the Railway Department, and her uncle is a middle school teacher, and when she meets a dozen eyes, she calls the other party Teacher Guo, and her eyes are full of admiration. Uncle lived under the house can see the railway line, she said that half of her life has followed the railway, we have a relationship. She likes to listen to him, and Uncle also said: Talking to you has a feeling of déjà vu. The two are not in the same city, they left WeChat and decided to get along first.
After returning home, Fu Shuyuan reported to the other party that he was safe, and since then, the two have communicated on WeChat almost every day, "You see the pork knuckle I ate today, I will send you the picture." "The weather was nice today." "I went for a walk in the park." Fu Shuyuan is looking forward to receiving news from the other party every day, and later she boldly confessed in the show: I changed from liking him to loving him, and I fell in love with him.
Everyone has a sad history
Dating TV shows strike a balance between serving guests and entertaining. When the program was broadcast, the old man's words and actions triggered a discussion among netizens, "Young people should only watch it lively," Zhang Xiaoju felt that it would be a pity if this was the case, "No matter what the old man says, it is the precipitation of the first half of their lives."
Zhang Xiaoju mentioned Zhou Shuying, who showed a spicy side in the show and was appreciated by young people, but the first half of her life was filled with a depressing atmosphere.
At the age of 28, Zhou Shuying was still unmarried, and she was considered an elderly young woman at that time. In her early years, she taught in the county and was later transferred to the Education Bureau. When she was teaching, she already had a high school degree, but she was self-motivated, and while working, she insisted on going to night school for college. Gradually, the teachers around her who were the same age as her were all married, and some people introduced her to her, and she had a high vision and could not see it. "If you want to find a college student, you have to be better than me in terms of academic qualifications." She said.
In the end, Zhou Shuying married a college student as she wished, and she was also a teacher, and the two met each other in the autumn, and Zhou Shuying stared at each other who was not tall, and her clothes were poorly dressed, but a pair of eyes flashed and looked good. She asked the introducer what the man's temper was.
"Who hasn't lost their temper yet." Introducer replies. In the winter, Zhou Shuying got married.
After marriage, Zhou Shuying learned from her husband's violent temper. He scolds people at every turn. When she was pregnant with her first child, three months pregnant, she thought about losing the child and getting a divorce. I'd rather be single for the rest of my life than live like this. People around her advised her that the flow of people was not good for her health and also affected her second pregnancy. Coupled with that era, there were always people gossiping behind divorced women, and she weighed it up and decided to put up with it.
When the child was less than one year old, a late-night crying made Zhou Shuying's husband sleep.
"People in their thirties, don't coax children, let no one sleep!" After many years, Zhou Shuying remembered her husband's words vividly. At that time, Zhou Shuying's grievances and anger surged into her heart, and in a fit of anger, she put the child into the pit and walked out of the house. When she returned after dark, there was no light in the house, it was pitch black, she had a hunch that something was happening, her husband hid behind the door, and when she came in and pushed hard, she didn't stand still And the whole person fell to the ground, her chest hit a sharp corner, and the needle hurt. Until now, she said, her two breasts were one high and one low.
Figure | Zhou Shuying in life
Since then, in order to pull the two children to grow up, Zhou Shuying has learned to be patient, and the husband and wife have lived like passers-by. "My marriage failed, but the wood is in a boat, there is no way." She now sums up that marriage.
The son grew up and started his own family, and she was also old. In the spring of 2020, she and her wife moved to a new home, did not enjoy a few good days, her wife was hospitalized due to heart attack, after being discharged from the hospital, people could not take care of themselves, Zhou Shuying offered to take her wife to the nursing home. In the nursing home, the husband's temper is getting worse and worse, he does not cooperate with taking medicine and injections, and he waves his hands to beat people. Zhou Shuying took the initiative to tie her husband's hands to the bed and listened to him babble and cry, so that three months passed, until her wife died of worsening condition.
Similar to Zhou Shuying, most of the uncles and aunts that Zhang Xiaoju has received in the show have a very unpleasant first half of their lives, and there are divorces, widows, and orphans. In front of the TV, they didn't want to say it, they were sad, and they were going to shed tears when they mentioned it.
Pu Fang's husband is an alcoholic, three times a day, can not do without wine, drunk and crazy, beating people. Pu Fang said fiercely to the camera: I hate him for the rest of my life. She said that she had never enjoyed a day of marital love, and her wife did not know how to hurt people, she pondered, and then looked for a man who cared for her and hurt her.
The difficulty in harvesting happiness in old age is that the elderly cannot afford to repeat the same mistakes, and those painful experiences in the early years have built a high wall in the hearts of those who have experienced it. Zhang Xiaoju found that young people are still willing to change themselves for each other, but the lifestyle of the elderly is difficult to change, and it is even more difficult to adapt to the intervention of another person. Therefore, on the show, it is often seen that two old people can't talk about small things such as weight, tobacco and alcohol habits, and disperse.
What kind of two people would be right together? After many years of being a red bride, Zhang Xiaoju still can't find a specific law.
She once gave an 81-year-old aunt a blind date, the two families have a huge difference in income, the woman lives in the city with a pension; the man is 74 years old, in the countryside, no pension, and is still working as a sanitation worker. The reason why the two people met was because after understanding, they found that the two met each other's needs. After meeting, the man because of the woman's age to go, Zhang Xiaoju did not give up, the other party's advantages, experiences one by one to him, the more in-depth chat the two more fit, the next program two people get along to live together, in September this year, the two old people received a marriage license.
In Zhang Xiaoju's understanding, a pair of old people in twilight love want to enter marriage, and the efforts of the red bride account for only 50% at most, and the rest depends on whether the two get along happily and have common expectations. "Only by working hard can we have good results." Zhang Xiaoju said.
Figure | On September 27, the program team held a group wedding for the elderly
"Feelings to feelings, things to things"
In the first half a month after the show, Fu Shuyuan felt that she had a new life and was full of expectations for a new relationship. Unexpectedly, the seed of love had just sprouted and was cut off. The other party told her that she did not tell the children on the TV blind date, and the children did not agree after knowing.
Fu Shuyuan continued to ask questions, and the other party and she confessed: the children worked in Tianjin, and after learning about the success of his blind date, they promised to take him to tianjin within two years, and they asked their father: "Can't you wait for two years?" Fu Shuyuan also wanted to fight, she was reluctant to this rare fate, sent a lot of text messages, but after that, the other party did not reply.
The final showdown was a long text message. Fu Shuyuan was very angry, and said at the beginning: There is a kind of harm called not replying. After the other party saw it, he replied to her: "Just acquaintance, not any interaction, let alone any feelings, here, don't go forward." ”
She did not ease up for a long time, contacted the program group, and hoped that the young people of the program group would reconcile with it. That day, the red lady came to the door, and they called each other together. This time, Fu Shuyuan behaved very dashingly, she once again invited the other party to come to her house to see, show her attitude, and the two officially said goodbye in the show.
Fu Shuyuan spent the first half of her life in caring for her children and grandchildren, and she and her wife spent their lives plainly. When her wife passed away in 2017, when she was 74 years old, she ended her life with her grandchildren, and she decided to live for herself for the rest of her life.
Before going on TV, Fu Shuyuan met a boyfriend through blind dates. The other party loves to write brush words in amateurs, she also loves to write, she feels happy, and the two people can get a piece of chat. The children on both sides agreed, and the two families also had a meal together. In this way, after two months of getting along, the other party proposed to let her move to the house, she was unwilling, saying that she was afraid that people's wives would haunt her and never pass the obstacle in her heart.
Now that I think about it, I was still in the stage of practicing love, and she now summed up that relationship - if she accepted this period, maybe her life would be very good now, "but I just want to play a little personality, maybe I haven't been with him." 」 Fu Shuyuan said.
Figure | The rich Lady in life
In the past two years of living alone, Fu Shuyuan has become more and more insecure. Once, she steamed steamed steamed buns in the kitchen, threw them down to do something else, and when the fire dried up, she forgot to turn it off, almost causing a fire, which made her heart palpitate.
Fu Shuyuan has a second brother-in-law who is 5 years older than herself, the old man is more than 80 years old, his body is very healthy, his wife has died for nearly 10 years, and he has been living on his own. She went back to her hometown in Jiangxi to make a monument to her old mother, to find the second brother-in-law to help, after the matter was over, they went on a tour together, and Fu Shuyuan invited the second brother-in-law to live in her home for two days. Afterwards, she told the child that she wanted to live with her second brother-in-law, and that Hao Lai was also a relative and knew the roots. The children agreed.
The day after the second brother-in-law came home, she wrote her brush writing at home as usual. The second brother-in-law lay on the bed and slept, snoring from time to time. At that moment, Fu Shuyuan suddenly felt afraid, she thought wildly, at the moment she herself can not protect herself, the second brother-in-law is older than herself, if people have an accident here, what to do, Jilin and Jiangxi are separated by more than two thousand kilometers, the old man's children can not rush to the first time, how should they give an explanation.
The more she thought about it, the more panicked she became, and she immediately called the child and booked a train ticket for the return trip, and she was afraid that the old man would be sad and excused herself to go back with him. When the old man returned to his home, her heart fell. The next day she bought the ticket alone and fled home.
After people are old, they face illness and death, as well as the pressure of illness on their children, which makes Fu Shuyuan depressed. Fu Shuyuan also remembered the "dew love affair" of the blind date on the show, but gave birth to a few happiness for its premature death: "We are not in the same city, when one of them is sick, the other party's child still has to be taken care of from a distance, is this not adding unnecessary trouble to the child." ”
"Feelings belong to feelings, things return to things." She looks forward to intimacy and fears the difficulties of reality.
In the eyes of the elderly, what is love?
Zhou Shuying said that she had never felt love in her life, and as long as she tasted love once, she was satisfied.
Pu Fang said that people are like this, you can look up to him, he can't look at you, if you can't see it, you will find it again, there is always a look at the right eye.
Fu Shuyuan felt that she was looking for a partner: "Let's live together." "She enjoys the search process even more.
September 29, 2021, that is the day when Fu Shuyuan's love ended. That day, she sat on the couch at home and said goodbye to the other person, her hands on the phone were trembling, her ears were close, trying to hear the last of the other person's voice, "It's nice to know you." The other party's voice came, and Fu Shuyuan replied happily, "Take care." ”
- END -
Written by | Zhou Jing
Edit | Wen Lihong