Recently, Gao Yalin, the actor of Xia Donghai in the drama "Family with Children", was exposed to domestic violence and cheating, which shocked netizens.
may be the filter in the play, which makes the audience mistakenly think that Gao Yalin is also a good husband and father in life.
If their daughter marries such a person, parents will naturally be sad and blame themselves for not choosing a good spouse for their daughter.
In fact, in real life, there are many couples who are like this, and outsiders seem to be very happy, but one day the news of divorce will break out, and the reason is unexpected.
Of course, there are also some couples who insisted on being together despite the opposition of their parents, relatives and friends, but in the end they grew old together.
If you want a good marriage, keep this sentence in mind when choosing a mate:
"If a man doesn't marry three, he will marry three and his life will be bitter; Women don't marry four, marry four blessings".
Although this is the concept of mate selection of the ancients, until now, it is still applicable, listen to the advice of the ancients, so that you can avoid stepping on thunder!
➽ Men don't marry three, marry three lives
The success of a marriage often depends on how well the personalities, values, and lifestyle habits of the spouses match.
When a man chooses a partner, ignoring these key factors can lead to hidden dangers in his future married life.
Therefore, when men choose a mate, they must remember that they cannot marry these three types of women.
1. Do not marry unfaithful women
Unfaithful women are usually characterized by emotional inconsistency and moral infirmity.
They may be in an affair with another person of the opposite sex while having a relationship with their partner, or even commit adultery.
This behavior not only hurts the feelings of the partner, but also undermines the foundation of trust and loyalty in the marriage.
Unfaithful women often lack responsibility and moral restraint, and they may not care about their partner's feelings and the interests of their family, and only pursue short-term personal pleasures.
These women often choose to betray their marriages because of personal needs, emotional emptiness, or external temptations.
This behavior not only causes deep harm to the partner, but also undermines the harmony and stability of the family.
The famous psychologist Sigmund Freud said: "Fidelity is the soul of marriage, and a marriage without fidelity is just an empty shell." ”
Therefore, when choosing a partner, men should carefully consider the loyalty and character of the other party and avoid marrying an unfaithful woman, so as to ensure the stability and happiness of the marriage.
We need to understand that marriage is not only a union of two people, but also a responsibility for each other.
When choosing a partner, men should not only consider the strengths and charms of the other person, but also whether the other person has the qualities to take responsibility and fulfill commitments.
Only in this way can we avoid choosing an unfaithful partner on the spur of the moment.
2. Don't marry a woman with a strong personality
Women with strong personalities often show a strong desire for control and assertiveness in family life, and they are used to dominating the relationship and interfering in their partner's decisions and behaviors.
Women with a strong personality tend to be independent and assertive, but in marriage, this personality can also trigger a series of family problems.
First of all, a strong personality can lead to couples not being able to communicate well.
A woman with a strong personality may be reluctant to listen to her partner's opinions, she is more insistent on her own position, and when she encounters a disagreement, she will quarrel because they cannot reach a consensus.
Secondly, a strong woman may lack empathy and find it difficult to understand and care about her family's feelings, which may lead to disharmony in family relationships, and emotional distancing and estrangement.
Finally, women with strong personalities often unconsciously control or interfere with the behavior of their partners and family members, and once they do not listen to their own arrangements, it will cause quarrels, affect family harmony, and reduce the happiness index of life.
3. Do not marry a woman with serious bad habits
No one is perfect, everyone has a little bad hobby, but some hobbies are resolutely eliminated, such as gambling, alcoholism, etc.
If a woman has serious bad habits, they may do things that hurt the family because of these bad habits.
Some time ago, Li Xiaotong from the same village owed a debt of 100,000 yuan because he was addicted to gambling.
Li Xiaotong liked to play mahjong when he was not married, and at that time, the amount of money he played was small and he didn't lose much.
After getting married, her husband doted on her very much, and saw that she liked to play mahjong and didn't cause big trouble, so he never took this matter to heart.
A while ago, during the Chinese New Year, Li Xiaotong was called to play mahjong, and the amount of money he played was a bit large, and he lost more than 2,000 yuan.
She always wanted to return to her capital, and she played bigger and bigger, and finally owed more than 100,000 yuan in debt.
After her husband found out about this, he wanted to divorce her, and even his son didn't follow her, so he chose to live with his father.
It can be seen that women with serious bad habits often lack a sense of family responsibility, and they may not be able to fully fulfill their roles as wives, mothers or family members, which can lead to the breakdown of the family.
Therefore, when choosing a partner, men should fully understand each other's living habits and hobbies, and avoid marrying women with serious bad habits, so as to create a healthy and friendly family atmosphere.
➽ Women don't marry four, marry four blessings
Generally speaking, when men can give women a sense of security and happiness, women will mostly reciprocate the most genuine emotions and establish a relationship with him.
However, when choosing a mate, you can't just listen to the sweet words of men, but you must investigate many aspects so that you can find a lover.
According to the ancient concept of mate selection, women must not marry these four types of men when choosing a mate, otherwise the blessing will be gone.
1. Don't marry a man who lacks a sense of responsibility
Responsibility is an integral part of masculine qualities, and it embodies a person's maturity and reliability.
If a woman marries a responsible man, they will be responsible for the family and you, providing you with a stable marriage, and it can also give you a full sense of security.
On the contrary, a man who lacks a sense of responsibility may bring you a lot of negative influences.
They will ignore family responsibilities, especially when the family encounters difficulties, they do not deal with it, but choose to escape it as soon as possible, and marry such a man, and the marriage breaks down sooner or later.
Best friend Xiao Wang's husband is a man with no sense of responsibility, Xiao Wang didn't notice it at first, until he had a baby, he found out that his husband was not responsible.
Bringing a baby is a very hard job, Xiao Wang chose to resign in order to take care of his son wholeheartedly, while her husband is responsible for making money to support the family.
Every time my husband comes home from work, he sees his wife cooking while taking the baby, so he quickly hides in the bedroom, for fear that his wife will let him watch the children.
Because her husband always avoids taking the baby, Xiao Wang is physically and mentally exhausted.
On the other hand, those husbands with a strong sense of responsibility will feel sorry for their wives, take the initiative to take care of housework and baby, and give their wives enough love.
Therefore, women should keep a clear head when choosing a mate, and must see each other's sense of responsibility clearly, otherwise they can only let themselves fall into a bad marriage.
2. Don't marry a man who doesn't respect women
Respect for women is not only a moral concept, but also the basis for establishing a healthy and equal relationship between husband and wife.
The famous psychologist John Gottman once conducted an experiment, he recorded and studied the interaction between husband and wife for a long time, and found that mutual respect between husband and wife is one of the key factors to maintain the stability and harmony of the relationship between husband and wife.
Suppose that if your partner doesn't respect you, what is your married life like?
He will mock you verbally and discriminate against you in his behavior, which will hurt your self-esteem deeply.
When our partner does not respect us, we are influenced by their disrespect and even begin to doubt our own worth, questioning our abilities and charisma.
This self-doubt and anxiety can affect not only our mental health, but also our work and relationships.
Therefore, women should be especially wary of such men when choosing a mate to protect our physical and mental health.
3. Don't marry an emotionally unstable man
Emotionally unstable men often bring great distress and harm to your married life.
Men who are emotionally unstable will also do some extreme behaviors when they are emotionally out of control, such as domestic violence, and marrying such a man, women often have worries and uneasy emotions, and women's physical and mental health will be affected by this negative emotion for a long time.
An emotionally unstable partner who will throw tantrums for no reason or because of a trivial matter.
Married life will not be smooth sailing, and people who will only lose their temper in case of trouble will not only not solve the problem, but will also make the problem more complicated.
On the contrary, an emotionally stable partner will comfort you to calm down, make you calm when you are emotional, and be better able to cope with the ups and downs of life.
4. Do not marry a man of bad conduct
A good marriage should be a process of two people supporting each other and growing together, but if the male partner has bad conduct, it will bring endless pain and distress to your married life.
Men with misconduct often suspect their wives because of character problems, which leads to family conflicts and even extreme incidents such as domestic violence.
is like An Jiahe in "Don't Talk to Strangers", his character is problematic, he always guesses that Mei Xiangnan is cheating without evidence, or has done something sorry for him, so as to beat and scold Mei Xiangnan in South Africa.
Not only does there be such a plot in the TV series, but in real life, there are countless cases of domestic violence, and according to the survey, it was found that most of these domestic violence men have character problems.
Staying away from a misbehaving partner is a wise choice for choosing a mate, not only for personal happiness and family stability, but also for the healthy growth of children.
To judge a person's character, we can look at his family environment, educational background and social circle, and understand his character from multiple angles, so as to avoid trusting people to others.
The ancient concept of mate selection: "If a man does not marry three, he will marry three and his life will be bitter; Women don't marry four, marry four blessings", this is not only the standard of the ancients, but also the standard of our mate selection, in order to have a happy life, we must choose a good partner, so you will benefit immensely, a happy life!