How to really enjoy life?

"Living Soberly" by Mike Singh

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In the previous section, we said that if you want to surpass yourself spiritually, you need to let go of old ideas, look at things around you with new eyes, and let go of inner attachments.

So, in this section, let's talk about: how to really enjoy life?

Feel "Unconditional Happiness"

Seeing this topic, many people may think, who wouldn't enjoy life? Give me a lot of money, a high status, a genius mind, and do anything is a pleasure. However, the author Singer believes that if we treat these as enjoyment, we may get temporary happiness, but as long as the external economic, family, and political environment changes, enjoyment becomes impossible to talk about.

Therefore, Singer pointed out that the enjoyment of life can be summed up in one point, that is, the enjoyment of life itself. It does not depend on how the external world changes, it is only based on our inner choices. When we truly enjoy life, we will find the path to happiness.

However, in real life, many people will find many reasons for themselves to choose the path of happiness and happiness. For example, some people say that I am too tired from my job, the salary is low, and I am not happy. Some people feel that I have been single for a long time and have never been able to find a suitable partner, and I live a lonely life. Others complain that my wife has left me, my family is not fulfilling, and I don't feel happy.

These reasons sound reasonable, but if we put these big or small situations aside and ask ourselves: Do I really want to be happy? Do I want to be happy? That's the problem with a lot of people, they don't choose happiness, it's not that they don't want it, but they feel that they can't control these things and that a happy life doesn't come for no reason.

When people are not confident enough, they will naturally set a lot of additional conditions for their lives, such as having a good education, a high income, a satisfactory family, a stable job, and so on. But in fact, the key to happiness is not to achieve these conditions, but to let go of these conditions and achieve "unconditional happiness", which is true happiness. This happiness is long-term and stable, and will not change due to changes in external conditions.

Although at this time, we may be challenged by worldly ideas. There is a voice that will laugh in his head and say: Isn't this chicken soup for the soul? How can a person who has no material foundation live happily?

So in this regard, we might as well think about how happy we were when we were children, as long as we had three meals a day and stayed with our families. Think about the time when you are tired, when you are relieved from the stressful environment, and when you come home to relax. These are simple happiness and joy.

Many people always think a lot, feeling that they must have a certain material foundation, and the more things they manage, the more they will have a sense of achievement. In fact, these things can easily become a burden on the heart.

This is what we mentioned in the previous content, those preconceived notions in society will be reflected in our hearts, becoming voices of opposition and questioning, and then we will be closed, blocked from the energy communication with the outside world, and become exhausted. At this time, it is necessary to use the skills we mentioned earlier, and realize that the inner voice is not the real self, but just a "roommate" who likes to sing the opposite.

Then we need to find that "listener" state to understand and deal with life's stresses, fears, desires, conflicts, and so on. These are of course negative energy things, but at this time, we have to try to get rid of this concept, don't think that they are bad, and see these things as normal and inevitable things. When these things happen, we deal with them positively, neither worrying nor getting excited.

When we try to do this, we are surprised to find that in most situations of life, what we really need to deal with is our own fears and desires, not some terrible sudden problems. When a person becomes unafraid and does not demand, many complex problems will be simplified. We can think about it the other way around, why should we feel anxious and miserable? If you don't feel like you're earning enough, you can think of ways to increase your income, and if you feel emotionally miserable, you can express it to the other person. These problems can be solved with an honest attitude and actions, without internal friction.

The key at this time, then, is that no matter what happens, we must have a normal heart and tell ourselves: happiness is not a result, but a way of life. When we understand the true meaning of life, we are able to meet it with calm and joy. We just have to watch life unfold before our eyes and interact with it in a natural and rational way. When everything happens, living seriously in the moment and enjoying the experience that life brings is happiness.

Thought Death

If we do, we still can't find a sense of happiness, and Singh also helped us hire a teacher, which is the death that everyone experiences. Some people are secretive about death, but Singer believes that death is a very important part of life education.

Specifically, we need to base ourselves on death, the end of our lives, to deal with real problems. When we encounter an intractable problem, no matter what method is used, it is difficult to make any progress. What happens when everything seems so unacceptable, when there is no hope for all action?

For example, one person quarrels with his lover one day, and the two people do not let each other go. At this time, he can think about it, if an accident suddenly occurs at this moment, is it necessary for his lover to live alone and have no one to take care of him, so that this quarrel can have a result? If he can let go of the quarrel, he will find that the person who loves each other always wants the other person to be happy.

In the same way, we can also think about our relationships with others in this way. Imagine that someone close to us, the last time we see this side, what will happen to us? If death suddenly comes and tells us: I am going to take you away, you have a month to prepare, who will we say goodbye to? Will you still be troubled by some small friction and small emotions?

In fact, everyone should think about the topic of death, which does not necessarily come, but allows us to see the essence through life and find the things that are really important. For a long time, human death contains a great paradox: many things can only be truly understood when a person dies, but no matter what he has an epiphanie, the next second everything will return to nothingness and become meaningless, leaving only regret and the sadness of loved ones. In that case, why not "advance" the time of death in your imagination to avoid situations that may be regretted?

Maybe the things that we have always felt are important, such as money, career, status, fame, etc., those things that cannot be grasped are always fascinating, but death can take them all away in an instant. In the face of death, there is no difference between the rich and the poor, between men and women, between the old and the young. At this time, we can distinguish what is most important in life, and we can change our thoughts and even change our lifestyle.

We will be more motivated to enjoy life and let go of things that are unnecessary and that others are striving for. When a person can devote himself to life and feel life, life will tend to be complete, and even death will not be able to take anything away from him.

At the end of the book, Singer specifically mentions the concept of "Tao" in life. Through Lao Tzu's "Tao Te Ching", he realized that everything is in the word "balance".

Everyone's life cannot be smooth sailing. However, if you go to extremes because of difficulties, you will have a lot of negative emotions and cloud your perception of life.

For this reason, Singh suggested that in life we need to be persistent, like riding a bicycle. Although there is a risk of falling when you ride up, your body will sway from side to side, but this is actually a process of self-balancing. Life is only once, there will always be ups and downs in life, we don't need to force it to go up only, what we should do is to calm down and maintain our own balance in it.

Well, speaking of which, we're pretty much done with the book "Living Soberly". Let's briefly review the essence of the book.

First, we explained who the "voice in my head" was. Many people think that the voice is the inner self, but in fact, that voice is just a reaction to the external world, and the real self is actually our inner "listener", the one who listens to the inner voice, and when we see ourselves as a bystander, we can also feel the real self.

Secondly, we introduced how to experience the energy of life. Many people only see the energy in the body and ignore the energy in the heart. If we can rationally face the various experiences in life and keep converging, we can slowly tap and grasp this energy.

Then we also explained how to get rid of the attachment in our hearts. This requires us not to fight obsession, but to make up our minds and tell ourselves not to dwell on the pain of the past.

Next, we introduced how to transcend oneself and steal freedom for the mind. The key to this is the attitude to life. Only by facing it calmly can we let go of the fear in our hearts, change our thinking, and find inner freedom. Only by breaking the stereotypes and looking at everything with the unknown can we surpass ourselves spiritually.

Finally, we talk about how to truly enjoy life. We need to put aside those conditions that we have set for life, embrace "unconditional happiness", understand our relationships with others by thinking about death, and truly achieve a state of peace and joy.

After reading this book, we will find that many stresses and emotions in life do not come from the outside world, but from our own hearts. These things are all reflections of the outside world in our minds.

To solve these problems, we need to skip the voice in our heads and look for the "bystander" who is looking at everything, because he is the real self. In life, we can only truly live a sober life when we get past the "noise" of reality and return to our inner self.