Recently, I learned a new term "two-headed marriage".
The so-called "two-headed marriage" does not mean that there are two marriages, but that young people go their own ways after marriage, and both men and women go back to their own homes and find their own mothers.
Most of the time they are separated, and only on holidays do young couples get together.
I have almost never heard of this new type of marriage before, after all, in my subconscious, two people who are married have to live together, otherwise why should they be called "two people"?
But this generation of young people who yearn for freedom, they seem to want to be themselves first while becoming husbands and wives.
Of course, there are also some young people who are forced to become "two-headed marriages", for example, many couples are forced to live in different places because they work in different places.
However, most of the young people who actively choose "two-headed marriage" do not want to be changed by a marital relationship, and prefer to maintain a certain degree of autonomy. If you miss each other, you will be together, and if you are annoyed together, you will separate, how comfortable you are.
The two marriages not only live separately, but they are also very separated in some other things, such as supporting their respective elderly people, managing their own income, etc., focusing on a "each sweeps the snow in front of the door".
The common problem of "who washes the dishes and who cooks" common to ordinary young couples is not a matter at all in the young people who are married at both ends, after all, if they don't live under one roof, such a problem is not valid at all!
This kind of marriage state, which is very "incredible" in the eyes of our middle-aged people, is a good way to keep feelings fresh in the eyes of young people. They think that they can't see each other on weekdays, but it will be more refreshing to see each other on weekends and holidays!
Not only that, but after a little discussion among netizens, I found that there are really many popular marriage methods among young people!
The unbelievable state of marriage of young people
A netizen said that they call "two-headed marriage" "two-headed marriage", where both men and women do not marry or marry, that is, a family with two only children "live together" and become a family.
What surprises me even more is that the so-called "two ends" of netizens are not just young people living together, but the husband and wife will also bring their respective parents and live together as two families.
When I saw this description, my first reaction was: so many people get together, first of all, there must be a big house!
I also saw a netizen who said that a couple he knew, after the two got married, they went back to their homes on holidays, and later gave birth to a pair of twins, the boy was raised at his grandparents' house, and the girl was raised at his grandparents' house.
But I don't know if the grandma's family is too strict, or the child lacks maternal love since childhood, and finally the boy is autistic, and the couple also ended in divorce.
I can understand that husband and wife can't live together because of force majeure, but I really don't understand the operation of raising brothers and sisters separately.
The bond between the two children growing up together is something that no other relationship can replace. The two children are raised separately, are you really not afraid that they will grow up to be strangers?
The most unacceptable thing is that a netizen appeared to tell about his colleague's "two-headed marriage".
After this colleague went home for the New Year, he was with his legal wife, and when he came out to work after the New Year, he would spend it with others.
The two people who got together rented a house and lived together like a normal couple. Sometimes they would call their colleagues to their homes for dinner.
But at the end of the year, the two will buy their own tickets and go home separately.
I was taken aback, are young people playing so much now?
But if you think about it, since you have accepted the new type of marriage of "two-headed marriage", you have to bear all the risk factors that may come with letting go of your lover's freedom. After all, the two are not together, and you can't know what the other party is doing outside.
Can you accept the new marital status?
Although "two-headed marriage" is a very personal choice, its quiet popularity has still brought a certain impact to traditional marriage, which has aroused heated discussions among many netizens.
Some people think: Xiao Bie is better than the newlywed, the distance produces beauty, and the two-headed marriage not only allows the husband and wife to have their own freedom, but also reduces the conflict between young people and their parents, avoids embarrassment, and is quite fragrant.
But some people believe that the key to marriage is for two people to be together to fight against all kinds of unsatisfactory and disputes in life, and marriage requires both husband and wife to support each other, share weal and woe. If the two are not usually in touch, they are unwilling to take responsibility, and they often dislike each other, just to have a wife and children in their reputation and choose to marry at both ends, it is better not to get married!
To be honest, maybe I am more traditional, although I subconsciously think that the way young people pursue freedom is cool, and the behavior of others choosing to marry two heads is acceptable, but there is still some inexplicable resistance to substituting it on my own children.
I have always believed that in the future, my child will find a partner, not only for three meals a day, but also hope that she will find a lover who can not only take care of her in life, but also resonate with her spiritually.
I hope that in the days to come, when she is struggling, there will always be someone behind her who will tell her "It's okay, I'm here".
Obviously, it is very difficult for couples who live in two places to do this!
From a mother's point of view, there is another reason why I don't like "two-headed marriage" very much: I have really seen too many examples of people living in different places, which led to the weakening of feelings and finally had to divorce.
When my colleague Sister Yin and her husband got married, their mother's family disagreed, Sister Yin's family conditions were very good, and her only daughter had a house in Beijing, but her husband came from other places, except for being handsome, he was almost incomparable with Sister Yin.
Sister Yin had a big quarrel at her mother's house for love, and finally stole the household registration book and got married. In order not to let his mother-in-law look down on him, his husband worked hard and won the expatriate quota, and he went abroad for 3 years, during which the two children were born with Sister Yin.
However, when the child was 3 years old, Sister Yin and her husband suddenly divorced. The girl who loved so much that she was alive finally just regretted it:
"I didn't want my child to have a high fever and convulsions, so I rushed to the hospital in a panic, in exchange for a 'hard work'. I also want someone to come and hug me when I'm sad! And I've found that I've been doing well most of the time myself, so why bother to tie each other up?"
Sister Yin's experience tells us that no matter how strong the feelings are, with the blessing of distance, they will become boring.
So for me, it may be difficult to accept the child's "two-headed marriage" for a while, what about you?