There is a good proverb: "When the book is used, you will hate less, and you will not know how difficult it is to go through it." ”
When you are a teenager, when you see someone you like, you think that love is coming, and happy days are about to begin.
After experiencing love and surviving the threshold of marriage, you will find that love and marriage are two different things.
If the marriage has encountered twists and turns, or if it has been "lingering" before marriage, no matter how good the couple is, it is inevitable that they will be separated.
What you meet and let go of is fate, but it may not be a bad fate.
When you reach middle age and taste the ups and downs of life, you will understand that the fate of husband and wife has already been indicated.
Next, take Jia Baoyu and Xue Baochai in "Dream of Red Mansions" as examples to interpret the reasons why the husband and wife are separated.
01
Marriage has become a "pawn" of parents, and husband and wife are friends of interest.
Jia Baoyu, a popular man in Jia's mansion and the future owner, has been loved by his parents since he was a child, and his father Jia Zheng forced him to read a lot of books.
In my heart, many people hope that Jia Baoyu and Lin Daiyu will get married, because they are childhood sweethearts, and they can also resonate spiritually and intellectually.
However, his parents arranged for Baoyu to marry Xue Baochai. On the one hand, Xue Baochai is smart and beautiful, and he is very proficient in reading and doing business; on the other hand, Jiafu is a big family, and Xue Baochai is a big businessman.
At that time, "Jia Shi Wang Xue" was the four major families, and they were evenly matched. According to the right saying, it is logical for Baoyu and Baochai to get married.
In the novel, Baochai has the golden lock of "never leaving and never abandoning, and the fragrance will last forever", and Baoyu has the beautiful jade of "don't forget it, immortal longevity and eternal prosperity", which happens to make up the meaning of the good relationship of gold and jade.
In any era, marriage is about the right family. And the root of this is not that the husband and wife we consider should have the same three views, fly like wings, and start from scratch, but more in the development of "two big families".
For the development of the family business, parents tried their best not to "help the poor". Parents will also see themselves clearly, and they don't have the luxury of climbing anyone.
Marriage and family business are closely linked, so the young couple becomes a wife. In the era of matchmakers' words and parents' orders, it is even more obvious.
Nowadays, love is free, but I still think about the development of my career. For example, people in the system want to find people who are the same kind of people and see if the other person's parents are able to help young people get promoted and raised. The big boss of the company wants to find a business partner.
There are also some people who get married and fall in love, and they are going for each other's money and power, and the relationship between husband and wife is not pure. It is similar to the ancient "beauty plan, beautiful man plan".
The feelings that come for the benefit must be returned in the end. Or, the end of the profit, the end of the fate.
02
When there is a "third person" in the marriage, the hearts of the husband and wife are not together.
For a long time, friendship and love coexisted between Baoyu, Daiyu, and Baochai.
In Baoyu's heart, she loves Daiyu more. And, they are confidants.
When Baoyu and Baochai got married, Daiyu cried dry tears, and then Xiangxiaoyu died.
lost his confidant, Baoyu immediately went to the Xiaoxiang Pavilion to mourn, and then became depressed and collapsed. Baochai is by Baoyu's side, but she is at a loss, and her heart is mixed.
A year after the marriage, Baochai celebrated her birthday, and Baoyu did not want to accompany her, but went back to Xiaoxiang Pavilion and was willing to get along with the dead. As a wife, how can Baochai endure it?
Among husband and wife, the loneliest person is the one who has two boats on one foot, and the most painful is the one who falls in love with a person who has two boats on one foot.
Only if there is a third person, then there will be a rift in the relationship between the husband and wife.
In today's society, there are always women who explain themselves and meet male girlfriends. They can talk to each other, and there is no love. But no matter how much you say, men won't believe it.
As a man, he kept pleading that he was just for work, getting very close to a female colleague, continuing to have a relationship with a female classmate, and saying that he was very busy at work and had to work overtime until late at night.
The crisis of trust between husband and wife, on the surface, is due to the fact that the money is not counted, the time arrangement is abnormal, and at a deeper level, it is because of the suspicion that the other party has met a third person and begins to betray the family.
A good marriage, when you meet a person with a white head, choose a city to grow old. No matter how hard the days are, as long as the two of them boil together, they will get through. A few more people boiled together, but it brought disaster.
03
Without "vision" in marriage, couples have no means to earn a living.
Baoyu read a lot of books, but after all, he became a playboy and did not have a good reputation. The ability to support a family is really worrying.
Baochai knows a lot about business, and his ancestors have experience and ways to do business. If she could, she also had the potential to gain fame.
However, Baochai is a woman, and in ancient times, she could not test her fame, even if she was doing business, it was inconvenient to show her head.
At the beginning of their marriage, Jiafu had a certain amount of savings, which allowed the couple to live a worry-free life.
When Jiafu was going to decline, Baoyu Baochai's survivability was really worrying. There is a reason why Baoyu chose to become a monk and Baochai went to her parents' house to live.
Money is not everything, and without money, it is absolutely impossible.
Any couple who has no one to earn money and cannot support their family is doomed to failure.
As the saying goes: "Poor couples mourn everything." ”
A family is very poor, but both husband and wife are willing to work and start a business, and they will get better soon.
The family is very rich, but the husband and wife do not know how to make a living, which is a sign of a loser. Or the husband and wife both want to make money, but they don't have the ability, and every time they invest, they will fail, and that will start a life of blaming each other and being in debt.
When people reach middle age, firewood, rice, oil, and salt are expensive, and there is no room for falsehood.
A good husband and wife, seeking love and making a living, will go on at the same time. You know where to settle down, live your life carefully, and go far on what road.
04
On the road of life, there are many fates, but not all fates have results.
No matter how good fate is, if you don't know how to operate, it's useless. The focus of business is trivial life.
Husband and wife are the best fate, but we need to see the fundamental conditions: two people are together, do not betray, make a living together, bring wealth, marriage is not a transaction, but two loves.
Be a rational person, see old from the beginning, fate can last for a long time.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The source of the pictures in the article is from the Internet.