The novelist Charles Dickens said, "It is a sad fact that even great men have poor relatives." ”
Yes, relatives and friends, all kinds of things, there is no guarantee that they are all rich, they are all people with status.
Different relatives and friends should be treated in different ways, and they cannot be generalized.
When we retire, we have nothing to do, we have to go to the homes of relatives and friends, and we also want to go back to the countryside and live a farming life for a few days.
Maybe you are still nostalgic and hope to take care of the other person and know how the other person is doing.
Therefore, it is recommended that when you go around, keep the following minds, and your popularity is getting better and better
01
Don't be abrupt, say hello before you go.
As a post-70s generation, I have seen how people of my parents' generation socialize.
In the afternoon, my father arranged for my mother to prepare a few more dishes, and then asked me to call my uncle from the same village to drink.
I asked, "What if my uncle isn't at home?"
The father said, "You don't know how to look for it on the ridge." ”
Yes, my uncle was not at home, he was in the field, in the vegetable field. If you still don't see anyone, it's next to the pig pen or the cow pen.
Anyway, Uncle will definitely be able to find it, and he won't go far.
In the era of poor information and inconvenient transportation, it is very simple to find a person, and everyone is not surprised by this.
But today is different, the transportation is convenient, and many rural people go to the city from time to time, and even live with the children in the city for a long time.
If you don't say hello, you go to the countryside, and maybe you'll have a closed door.
Or, relatives and friends are not ready to entertain guests, and when they see you coming, they blame you. Especially when you are busy with farming, if you don't say hello, everyone thinks that you are delaying farming, but you feel uncomfortable and are embarrassed to say it clearly.
In order not to get cold, it is best for you to greet the other party in advance, so that the other party is prepared and not disliked by the other party.
02
Don't go empty-handed, bring practical gifts.
"Come and not be rude", in the state of etiquette, gift-giving is an indispensable link.
If you go to the homes of relatives and friends in the countryside and are empty-handed, you can't talk about it.
With gifts, he seems to be polite and generous.
But what kind of gifts should be given? Many retired elderly people take gifts from other juniors with them and pass them on to rural people, which is obviously inappropriate.
Rural people, the gifts they need, are very affordable, not fancy things.
Some so-called nutritional products, rural people see it, are reluctant to eat, and often go to waste.
Some wines with very polite packaging, I don't know the price. Rural people don't necessarily eat it either.
Some foreign clothes are not liked by rural people, and even if they accept them, they will not wear them.
Sending daily necessities is ideal. Firewood, rice, oil, salt, all are available.
If you don't know what to give, give the other party a red envelope.
It's not easy to make money, it's the same no matter who it is, it's wasted, it's not kind to yourself, it's disrespectful to relatives and friends.
03
Don't be idle, try to help with some farm work.
Maybe when you go around, you meet relatives and friends, and you have to plant seedlings, cut rice, plant vegetables, and pick tea leaves. You can be involved in the labor.
Most of us are people who come out of the countryside, how can we forget about labor?
Even if you were born in the city, your ancestors have been farmers for generations, and they have the fragrance of earth in their bones.
Go to work with rural people, and you will find that you are very popular. And you've exercised too.
Compared with square dancing and mahjong in the city, it is much better.
As a post-70s generation, I had the impression when I was a child: when the farming season came, my mother's maiden relatives would come to help. In one breath, you can do my family's farm work in a hurry, and the completion rate is very high.
In fact, the relatives came only after calculating the days. It's meant to help, not to move around and have a meal.
Between people, because of each other's help and beautiful, because of a part of the heart and heart.
We're retired, but we're still healthy, and we can't sit back and wait for someone to serve us. If you are weak, you can do some light farm work. For example, when everyone is cutting rice, you are at the door, helping to turn the grain and drive away the sparrows.
Labor ennobles one's morality and accustomes one to be careful with the tools, instruments, and products of labor...... Your kindness and sincerity are in your labor.
Especially for your brothers and sisters in the countryside, you can help out every year when you are busy farming. This is human affection, and it is also to retain the bloodline.
04
Don't show off, keep a low profile.
Many retired elderly people, when they go to the countryside, say as soon as they arrive: "My pension is thousands a month, and I can't spend it all." ”
Some people also said: "My son, in the city, has a monthly salary of tens of thousands." ”
All kinds of showing off, I was proud, but the other party listened to it and was very uncomfortable.
Most people in rural areas will not retire, but they also love face and do not want to live in fear by themselves.
Don't use your own strengths to compare the shortcomings of others.
You have to learn to empathize with people in the countryside and lower your posture, just like everyone else. When it comes to pensions, it is also said: "It's a living expense." ”
Also, when you go to the countryside, you must dress modestly. You are wearing a cheongsam, skirt, suit and leather shoes, which is obviously out of place, too ostentatious and unpleasant.
05
Don't be quick to talk, be cautious and promise to help.
Of course, people in the countryside have a habitual thinking: "Relatives and friends in the city have great skills and a wide range of social contacts, and they can help." ”
Especially people in the system will be thought that everything can be done.
When we retire and leave the workplace, it's difficult to help. After all, people go to tea and cool.
When you meet someone asking for help, you should be cautious and don't just say yes. If you can't help, the other party will dislike it, and maybe you will miss the time limit for doing things.
If you put a lot of effort into it, you're really embarrassed.
When I hear about helping, I immediately analyze it in my mind to see if it is done well. Use rules, not favors.
There is nothing wrong with showing weakness in front of relatives and friends. After all, when you're retired, you won't be supernatural.
06
When interacting with others, the most taboo is self-righteousness, and the best is empathy.
When you feel that the air in the countryside is sweet, you must also feel the suffering, mood, and vision of relatives and friends in the countryside.
When we retire, we are not only relatives and friends, but also elders, and we must carry positive energy and set a good example wherever we go.
Visiting relatives and friends is to cherish fate, but also to be a good person, don't always think about eating, drinking and having fun.
With its own light, wherever you go, there are poems and distances.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.