Sisters, we stumbled on the road of love, and finally reached the middle age of life.
Looking back at the way around, there are laughter and tears, gains and losses.
Whether you are single, in a relationship, married or divorced, let's take a new look at how middle-aged people should go in love and life.
Putting aside the clichés of "slow experience", "good management", "contentment" and so on, let's change to a new entry point - focus.
What is focusing? It's about focusing on what you have and what you're striving for, rather than distracting you.
Focus requires courage Many sisters are middle-aged, and their lives and careers are quite good, but they always feel that there are shortcomings.
Just like my friend Xiao Li, she has a successful career and a happy family, but she always feels as if something is missing.
When she complained to me, she said: "I feel that my life is so unfulfilled, I am always busy with the scene, but I never have time to enjoy the moment. Something seems to be missing. "
It dawned on me when I heard it.
It turned out that she had not been "focused" on the happy life she had at the moment, but had distracted her attention from meaningless pursuits and troubles.
To be able to "live in the moment", it takes courage in particular.
Because we are always easily tempted by external objects, entangled by all kinds of distracting thoughts, and lose our focus on ourselves.
As the famous Lai Shixiong said, "Concentration is a kind of practice, and it requires courage."
The biggest enemy is not the outside, but your lack of concentration.
"By focusing on what's important, we can live life at its highest level.
Focus is the art Middle-aged people pursue a focused life, which requires not only courage, but also wisdom.
Because it's so easy to distract.
Think about it, we have to deal with a lot of things every day - work, family, socializing, sports, study, etc., none of which can be relaxed.
What's more, we are often distracted by mobile phones, TVs, and the Internet.
Therefore, how to find the center of gravity in the chaos and how to grasp the main line without relaxation is an extremely high art.
Let's do a little experiment: Now close your eyes and focus entirely on your breathing.
It's easy at first, but distractions start to appear in a dozen seconds.
As soon as you find yourself wandering your mind, realize that you refocus.
You'll fail many times at first, but stick with it.
Gradually, you will find a serenity that you have never experienced before.
At this point, your body and mind have entered a state of intense focus.
You will deeply appreciate the state of "selflessness".
We need to use this kind of concentration at every moment of life.
Work hard, deal with life with wisdom, and tolerate personnel with broadness.
No matter what you do, you have to do it with your heart, this is the true meaning of middle-aged people's "focus on life".
Focus on what we love In middle age, the highest way of life is to focus our limited attention and energy on the people and things we love and want in our hearts.
Many of my friends often complain to me about the troubles of love.
Some people say: "There is a rift in the relationship between our husband and wife, as if we are estranged"; Some people complained: "I am very interested in the current position, but he does not respond to me."
Through my observation and reflection, most of the problems in gender relations stem from one reason: we put too much energy into what we shouldn't be paying attention to.
It's like a lady saying, "My husband is doing a very good job and earning a lot.
But he neglected to take care of his family, and sometimes I couldn't help but interrogate his lifestyle, which led to a big fight. "
It is not difficult to see that she pays too much attention to the details of her husband's work and life, and ignores the core need of caring and being cared for.
Another lady complained: "I have been pursuing a man for three years, and I have tried almost everything to please him, but he is just indifferent."
Am I trying too hard?"
Yes, sister, you are too focused on gaining his love, and in the end it is self-defeating.
Because only if you live your own life, the other person will be attracted to you.
So my advice for the relationship between the sexes is: focus on the sincere feelings of each other, not the superficial conditions.
Focus on the resonant connection between you, not the superficial attraction.
If you want to be loved, love yourself first.
A person who will love himself well will naturally attract more love.
Focus on your own growth and pursuit, you are the most attractive person.
As the famous saying goes, "When you love your life, you will naturally attract a group of people who like your lifestyle."
"
Focus on the present Sisters, in the final analysis, the key to living a superlative life is to learn to focus on the present.
I have a friend who is divorced in middle age and was very depressed for a while.
It wasn't until she got to know psychological counseling that she found a new way out of life.
Now she often shares her mental journey in the circle of friends, and says earnestly: "Live in the moment."
The present is life, because the future is just a concept.
"
Her words gave me a deep understanding.
Most of us middle-aged people have been struggling for our careers and families for many years, and we have also pursued a better future.
But by the time we really start to appreciate the life we have now, we are often exhausted.
So, no matter what situation you are in, whether you have love, whether you are rich or poor, whether you have a successful career, now is the best time for you to cherish and focus on what you have.
Work hard, live with wisdom, and examine love with a broad vision.
Work hard, not just eight hours of blockage.
It's about keeping a heart eager to learn every day, keeping your enthusiasm and focus on your work.
To live with wisdom is to judge the situation and put limited energy in the most important place.
Look at love with a broad perspective, don't be bothered by momentary impulses or frustrations, but look at the long-term and more worthwhile.
Come on, live in the moment.