Recently, an article has become a hot search.
The more than 20 million views on the whole network show the high level of public attention to this.
The title is very straightforward, it is called "The Death of My Wife", which is an article by a husband living in Canada who mourns his wife affectionately after her death.
The wife died of illness, and the husband also reviewed in detail the whole process of his wife from the beginning of her illness, to treatment, and finally to her regretful death.
The number of people who rewarded the article was as high as more than 2,000, and many people were touched by her husband's affection, and some even followed him to scold the Canadian medical system.
However, it was such an article, but it was suddenly reversed.
Many people went from initial sympathy to anger and condemnation later.
With the fermentation of public opinion, they began to find that something was wrong:
The wife is seriously ill, but what is this husband doing?
Why was my wife still doing manual work before she got cancer?
Why is it that almost all the burdens of the family are borne by the wife?
When I figured out the whole story, I just felt a chill down my spine, and I was terrified to think about it.
It turned out that the husband who wrote the manuscript was the root of her miserable fate.
A wife who is always self-sacrificing
The wife in the story is named Zhang Min.
In her husband's mouth, she is a smart, excellent and self-disciplined student.
After an IELTS score of 9 and a TOEFL score of nearly full score, he went to Durham University in the United States to study business.
After graduating, she was given the opportunity to work in the United States, and she also got an H1B work visa, which is very difficult to obtain.
H1B work visas can be converted to green cards while working.
And this husband, who works in the system, met his wife who was only 18 years old when he was 30 years old, and after his wife graduated from bachelor's degree, the two got married.
For the sake of her family, Zhang Min had to give up the great opportunity in the United States and return to Shanghai to live with her husband.
A top student in an American business school, with a job and a visa all set, she had an excellent future, but she had to give up.
It was the first concession she had chosen for her marriage.
Giving up the opportunity to return to China, she could have made a career in China, but she gave birth to two children in a row.
21 years old is the best age for a girl, but she has been giving birth all the time.
This is her second concession for marriage.
gave birth to two children, and when the third child was born, the country had not yet opened the three-child policy.
As a worker in the system, the husband was afraid of violating the family planning policy, so he asked his wife to apply for a Canadian tourist visa to give birth in Canada.
In other words, this time, she has to sacrifice her time with her family for the sake of her third child, go to another country, give birth to a child, and endure the pain of separation.
And under what circumstances was her third child born?
They were born in a rental house when the Canadian landlady's wife returned to China to visit relatives.
In order to save money, his wife did not even go to the hospital, and directly called a midwife to come to the house to deliver the baby.
In the article, he praised his wife's bravery and greatness.
After reading it, I only felt disgusted:
If conditions allow and the economy can be, who doesn't want to go to the hospital to give birth?
In this marriage, the wife sacrificed herself again and again for the livelihood of the family, and the husband only knew to praise his wife's bravery and greatness, but he did not think about helping his wife solve the problem and took the initiative to take responsibility.
Isn't it clear that your wife doesn't have to suffer these sins?
His wife's experience in this marriage is poignant.
was originally a woman with a great future in the United States and in her prime, but after marrying him who was more than ten years older, she went from the United States to China step by step, and then crossed the ocean from China to Canada, gave birth to three children in succession, and finally died tragically in Canada.
In my husband's article, the dedication hidden between the words is love by many people, but I only think it is cruel.
Inaction of the husband,
The wife who didn't dare to stop
Later, his wife got a job in a bank in Canada to support a family of five.
After her husband went abroad, because he didn't speak English well and didn't have a work permit, he kept taking care of the children at home.
It was too stressful for his wife to support a family of five on her own, so she found time to open an Olympiad and English classes in the basement of her home, where she spent six hours a week.
It's just a matter of wearing multiple hats, and the husband wants his wife to study for a master's degree in order to get a visa.
This is equivalent to asking a newly graduated college student to take the public entrance examination with one hand and the postgraduate examination with the other, and also take the teacher exam in the middle.
Isn't this treating his wife like a donkey?
Why don't you take the test yourself if you want to stay?
What's more, there is a detail in the article that after the wife got sick, she always took a taxi to the hospital by herself because her husband couldn't drive.
But in Canada, which is vast and sparsely populated, not being able to drive means having no legs.
A husband who can't drive, doesn't have a visa, and doesn't have a job should be responsible for all the housework at home, right?
But judging from some of the snippets of his life that he posted before, this is not the case.
Zhang Min is a good mother, she can cook nutritious meals, and she will pay attention to the children's daily life, but what about her husband?
In other words, the wife may have done a lot of housework alone.
Therefore, as a wife, she has to take on the responsibility that a family of five can stay in a foreign country and work hard: earn money to support the family, go out to clear the snow, work as a tutor in the basement, and manage money passwords.
I also have to take care of housework, cook for my children, attend extracurricular classes, and even before I got cancer, I was doing some physical work and keeping everything in order.
Should I say it or not, this is more than the donkey of the production team!
And what about the husband at this time?
has no job, language barrier, can't drive, can't do housework, and was scolded by many netizens as a "giant baby" and "burdensome".
He doesn't know anything, but he is very smart and will glorify everything he has done for his wife.
His wife was pregnant, and in order to supplement his wife's nutrition, he actually learned to fish and go wild fishing.
And it was his wife who cleaned up the fish, killed the fish, and removed the scales.
His wife takes on everything, earns money to support the family, contracts housework, attends extracurricular tutoring classes, copes with exams, and is as tired as a donkey, but he feels that "she thinks very highly of herself, is easily anxious, and is not good at decompression".
What an irony!
With so many things going on day by day, where to decompress and how to decompress?
Why don't you take the initiative to take on some of the pressure from your wife?
Someone picked up a comparison between Zhang Min's previous and later photos, she was happy and simple in the past, and she looked petite and lovely.
But in just a few years, her face was haggard, and her face was full of traces of time.
She was bent over by life.
Such a heavy burden, to endure it like this for a long time, is really not sick but also to be exhausted.
Some netizens even said:
This wife died of lung cancer, does it have anything to do with her stress and living environment?
The basement is not ventilated, the air quality is poor, and being there for a long time has no effect on the body?
There is no time to be quiet, but someone is carrying the weight for you.
It's just that in this relationship, it is the husband who is quiet, and the wife who carries the weight forward.
In this marriage, the woman earns money to support the family and takes care of everything in every detail.
And the husband, judging from above, praises, and admires everything his wife has done.
Is this really an "affectionate" and "good wife" husband?
Shrewd calculations, ulterior motives
The most criticized thing is what this husband did after his wife was seriously ill to death.
In the article, the husband recalled that when his wife was dying, he forcibly woke her up, asked her to sign the document of the designated heir, and shouted: "Wake up Amin, for the sake of the child."
How does a dying person feel when he is about to die?
It must have been very painful, extremely tormenting.
But the husband forcibly woke her up, and said that it was for the sake of the child, so the wife immediately understood.
"Although my wife's signature is crooked, the English writing is spelled correctly, and for a while I seem to see the smart wife who has scored 9 in IELTS and nearly full in TOEFL IBT."
In other words, when his wife was dying, he still insisted that her endure the pain and sign and appoint the heir of the estate as her husband.
From beginning to end, he was thinking about himself and his children, but what about his wife's elderly parents?
The second elder worked hard to train his daughter to college and master's degree, and her daughter died like this, who will think about it for them?
According to informed netizens, this husband raised funds as soon as his wife died.
The local community mutual aid organizations and the Chinese Association provided him with relief and fundraising, and the Chinese Association donated nearly 50,000 Canadian dollars, and the local church raised nearly 40,000 Canadian dollars, totaling 90,000 Canadian dollars, or about 480,000 yuan.
According to netizens, the bank where his wife works also gave him a large pension, and even the loan for the house was forgiven.
Half a year after his wife's death, the husband wrote this long essay again.
There are two ways to reward at the end of the article, and the WeChat payment code is called buying children's books for children.
When someone said that he had encountered problems with WeChat Pay, he said that he wanted someone to reward him directly.
It's hard not to doubt the motives behind his article.
Someone picked up his official account, and he used to write some grand narratives such as the international situation, and there were not many clicks.
But after his wife passed away, the number of hits for writing about his wife's death increased a lot.
Perhaps, this also gave him a taste of sweetness, so he has been sending it all this time.
As a Kochi woman, Zhang Min was once so elegant and decent, would she be willing to make her privacy public?
Some people even picked it up:
The husband's tone at his wife's overseas memorial service was like a product presentation.
This kind of behavior can't help but remind people of Lin Shengbin who raised his arms and shouted "wife and children are in heaven".
seems to love his wife and praise his wife, but in fact, he oppressed her before he was alive, consumed her after death, used her, and was eaten and wiped clean by this man from birth to death.
Some netizens once described this husband like this:
He is a delicate flea, constantly looking for a new host to parasitize.
After his wife fell, he searched for a local charity and then on the Internet.
After reading the story of "Canadian Lin Shengbin", I still have a few words I want to say to you:
1: Always put your health first.
Neither husbands nor children are worthy of burning our lives to sacrifice.
People die like lights go out, their health is gone, and all of them are gone.
2: In this life, you must plan more for yourself.
The family is not anyone's safe, and no one should always protect anyone.
If the model of a family is to supply blood to another person for a long time, it is impossible to last long, so it is better to break it off as soon as possible.
In this life, people will eventually learn to perfect themselves.