"Hey, my Xiaobao has always been very clingy lately, and I started crying as soon as I left his sight, is it that I, the mother, don't give him enough security?" Lin Yue knows her love for Xiaobao, and in order to create a comfortable living environment for him, she works hard to purchase all kinds of high-quality baby products, however, despite the superior material conditions, Xiaobao's anxiety makes her deeply confused.
Xiao Ya gently held Lin Yue's hand and smiled comfortingly: "Honey, you have done a good job." But know that security is not something that can be given by material things alone. Especially in infancy, the establishment of a sense of security is crucial and closely related to the attachment relationship between you. Have you ever understood how a sense of security is formed, and how to help Xiaobao get it in daily life?" Xiaoya's words made Lin Yue fall into deep thought, and she was eager to solve this mystery about security and lay a solid psychological foundation for Xiaobao's growth.
01
A sense of security is of great significance to a child's psychological development. As an "inner haven", a sense of security helps children maintain emotional stability in stress, frustration or unfamiliar situations, reduces excessive anxiety and fear, and prevents psychological problems such as separation anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem, which has a profound impact on mental health.
Children with a strong sense of security have established deep trust and intimate relationships with their parents, are better at expressing emotions, understanding others, forming good interpersonal communication patterns, showing cooperative spirit, empathy and inclusiveness, which is conducive to establishing harmonious interpersonal relationships and laying the foundation for future social adaptation.
In the face of negative emotions, a sense of security allows children to know how to seek support and release emotions, rather than suppressing and avoiding, and more effectively use coping strategies such as confiding and self-comfort, and cultivating emotional regulation ability at an early stage, which is crucial for lifelong psychological resilience. Children who seem to be highly dependent "secure attachment" are actually more courageous to explore and try new things independently with the support of a sense of security, and even if they encounter difficulties, they have their parents as a solid backing to enhance their courage to pursue independence and take risks, which is conducive to cultivating independence and autonomy.
02
Myth 1: Material satisfaction ≠ sense of security. Some parents mistakenly believe that abundant material conditions can meet their children's needs for a sense of security, such as high-quality daily necessities, spacious housing, and high-quality educational resources. However, the core of a sense of security lies in emotional connection and psychological support, and over-reliance on material satisfaction and neglect of emotional communication and companionship may lead to children's inner emptiness and lack of real sense of security.
Myth 2: Overprotection ≠ security. Out of love, some parents overly interfere and protect their children's life, study, and make friends, trying to eliminate all risks. This deprives children of the opportunity to solve problems and cope with difficulties independently, leaving them at a loss when they leave the protection of their parents, lacking the ability to protect themselves, and reducing their sense of security.
Myth 3: Strict discipline ≠ security. Some parents believe that strict discipline and frequent criticism can help children understand the rules and gain a sense of security. However, overly harsh methods often lead children to live in fear and depression, and develop fear of parents instead of dependence, and lose their sense of security.
Myth 4: Ignoring emotional needs. Some parents ignore the attention and satisfaction of their children's emotional needs due to work and other reasons, thinking that their children do not understand emotions or only need to meet basic life needs. However, ignoring emotional communication and children's emotional expression will make children feel neglected, neglected, and seriously lacking a sense of security.
Myth 5: Emotional instability. Some parents do not manage their emotions well, and their attitudes towards their children are hot and cold, making it difficult for children to predict parental reactions, forming chaotic attachments, and lacking a stable source of security. Emotionally stable parents are key to building a sense of security by giving their children a sense of consistent love and support.
Myth 6: A sense of security is not achieved overnight. Some parents believe that a conversation, activity, or a short period of intensive care can quickly build a sense of security in their child. In fact, the establishment of a sense of security is a long-term and continuous process, which requires parents to accumulate bit by bit in their daily life, and through countless interactions and companionship, so that children can deeply feel the love and support of their parents.
03
Respond to and meet basic needs in a timely manner: Be keenly aware of and meet the child's physiological (e.g., eating, sleeping, cleaning) and emotional (e.g., companionship, comfort, encouragement) needs in a timely manner, especially in the neonatal and early childhood stages, such as timely breastfeeding, diaper changing, and soothing crying, so that the child's perceived needs can be met in a timely manner, which is the initial establishment of a sense of security.
Establish a stable attachment relationship: As the most important attachment object of the child, parents strengthen intimate contact through skin-to-skin contact, eye contact, verbal interaction, parent-child games, etc., especially when the child is anxious, scared, and injured, so that the child can establish trust in the parent and form a secure attachment.
Provide a stable living environment: Children need a stable, orderly and warm family environment, including a fixed schedule, a regular rhythm of life and a harmonious family atmosphere, and avoid frequent moving, changing caregivers, excessive intervention in children's lives and other behaviors that may cause anxiety.
Encourage independent exploration and attempt: Under the premise of ensuring safety, encourage children to complete what they can independently (such as dressing, eating, and tidying up toys), and give appropriate guidance and encouragement in the face of difficulties or failures instead of taking them as a substitute, so that children can accumulate self-confidence, improve coping skills, and enhance their sense of security in practice.
Positive parent-child communication: Respect children's feelings and ideas, communicate with a calm and understanding attitude, and avoid negative communication methods such as belittling, ridicule, and intimidation. When children make mistakes, focus on guidance and education, avoid excessive punishment, let children feel accepted and understood, and enhance their inner sense of security.
Emotion management and role modeling: Parents should learn to manage emotions and avoid showing excessive negative emotions in front of their children. At the same time, show a positive, optimistic and persevering attitude towards life, set a good example for children to cope with emotions, let children learn emotional regulation through imitation, and enhance their sense of inner security.
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