This evening, Sister Li nervously said to us: What should I do, my baby has learned to steal money!
What?What money to steal?Whose money to steal?
Sister Li explained: The child stole 10 yuan from her drawer a few days ago, and when she picked her up from school at night, she saw her take some snacks, and only found out after asking.
Hearing this, her colleagues comforted her and said that she had also stolen money from her family when she was a child.
Some stole 5 cents, some stole 2 yuan, Ding's mother was more "powerful", and directly stole 10 yuan, but unfortunately it was found by my mother in less than half a day and was beaten hard.
How should parents deal with the problem of their children stealing money?
01.
There is a reason behind all the actions of the child.
If you want to avoid the "stealing" thing from happening again, you must figure out why they are stealing money.
Why do children steal money? Is it driven by curiosity, imitation, family financial pressure, or some psychological problems or external factors?
Parents need to communicate well with their children to find out the reason for stealing money, and then address the symptoms.
PS: During the communication process, parents should remain calm and patient, and do not hit and scold their children, so that they do not hide the truth because of fear.
The 3 most common reasons why children steal money
1. Money needs
The reason why Ding's mother stole money in the first place was "money needs".
Ding's mother is a post-80s generation, and her family conditions are not very good, and she has never taken pocket money at the age of nine.
Seeing that my classmates could go to the commissary every day after school to buy food and drink, I was very hungry, and I had no pocket money, so I had to steal it.
At that time, I took 10 yuan, and it took a lot of effort to spend 1 yuan, and I went home full of food and drink, and put the remaining 9 yuan back in the drawer. That night, my mother found out and was beaten up.
2. Curiosity
Some children may steal money out of curiosity, they may want to explore the magic of money, they may want to know what they can do when they have money, and what it feels like.
This is the case of Sister Li's daughter, who has no shortage of snacks and toys, but has never bought anything herself. The reason for stealing money is that I want to experience the feeling of consumption, and I want to go to the commissary with my classmates to buy "junk food".
3. Imitation behavior
Some children have little interest in money and don't want to buy toys or snacks.
The reason for stealing money is imitation, for example, if a friend/relative around him steals money, he is likely to imitate and learn after he knows it.
At the beginning of the year, my son brought back 3 100 yuan bills, which he said were given by a classmate, and it is said that this classmate gave more than 10 children in the class, and the preliminary estimate was at least 2,000.
I quickly contacted my child's teacher and took the money to school the next day.
The teacher said: The child secretly brought his mother's red envelope to the school because during the Chinese New Year, his cousin stole the family's money in front of him, and told him that the money was to share with friends.
Doesn't that sound weird?
But it has to be said that most children are very curious and have no concept of money, sharing is a good thing for them, and imitation is also a common thing.
4. Social pressure
There is also a common cause of social stress.
The child steals money in order to fit in with the circle of friends, or to meet some expectations of the friends.
When my son was in kindergarten, he asked me many times to buy more toys, picture books and card albums because his friend wanted it too, and he was worried that if he didn't buy it, he would lose his friend.
02.
Now that the cause has been found, how should parents respond?
1. Don't label your child at will
Labeling a child, such as "thief", will not only cause the child to have an inferiority complex and stress, but also affect the parent-child relationship.
This label can affect a child's self-esteem and can make them think that they are really "thieves".
Over time, they may lose self-confidence, become suspicious of themselves, or even break the jar and really steal.
2. Educate children about money
Through picture books, stories, documentaries, etc., explain to children the meaning and origin of money, so that they understand that money is earned through hard work and not can be taken away at will, teach children how to use money wisely, and establish healthy spending habits.
PS: In your spare time, you can take your children to participate in the "flea market" and let your children experience the process of making money.
3. Establish certain rules and consequences
Make it clear to your child that stealing money is wrong and have some family rules in place to help your child understand the responsibilities and consequences. After children steal money, they must bear the corresponding consequences, such as: deducting pocket money, increasing housework, etc., to cultivate their sense of responsibility and self-discipline.
Parents also need to properly supervise their children, ensure that they do not make the same mistakes again, and give the necessary support and guidance.
4. Strengthen children's positive behaviors
Encourage children to admit their mistakes and make up for them through positive behaviors, and give them timely praise and encouragement when they show honesty and responsibility, so that they can feel the positive energy brought by the right values.
Parents can also use the 10 minutes before bedtime to talk to their children about what happened during the day, and give encouragement and praise for some positive things to reinforce this positive behavior.
PS: If your child repeatedly steals money and doesn't change it, you need to seek professional help.
03.
If you want your children not to steal money, it is also very important to give them pocket money in time after a certain age.
When to give your child pocket money?
Normally, when the child enters primary school, is exposed to addition and subtraction and the understanding of money, and has a certain cognitive ability and self-care ability, you can consider giving him an appropriate amount of pocket money.
For the amount of pocket money, it is recommended not to be too much.
When children are in elementary school, they eat and live at home, and all kinds of snacks, fruits and books are basically paid for by their parents, and they rarely have a place to spend money.
Parents can give them a few dollars a day, or a week/month, according to local prices.
I started to give my children pocket money in the second semester of the first grade, which was 1.88 yuan a day.
This amount was requested by the child himself, because he scanned the code to draw a lottery and happened to draw 1.88 yuan, and he felt that it was very fateful, so he set a pocket money of 1.88 yuan.
At first, I transferred money once a day, but then the child was troublesome, so he asked me to transfer a month to him on the 25th of every month, and he was entitled to pay his salary.
As for the disposal of pocket money, mobile phones are now used when going out, and the school requires that no money be brought with them.
So when he wants to buy something, I basically accompany him, pay with my mobile phone first, and then return it to me when I go home.
PS: If the child is a junior high school student and lives or eats at school, you can give more according to the formula (total pocket money = meal money + transportation expenses + snacks + emergency money).
All in all, when they reach a certain age, it is time for parents to give their children an appropriate amount of pocket money, which can not only help them improve their money concept, but also understand family expenses and have a stronger sense of family responsibility.
PS: If they don't give it, they are likely to steal the family's money and cause a headache for their parents.
Today's interaction: Have you given your child pocket money?How to give it?How much to give?Welcome to leave a message~