Written by / First Psychology Writers
Editor / Tommy
The word "honest", often used to describe a character trait of people, refers to:
Faithful and reliable, abide by the rules, be obedient, and do not make mistakes.
As many women say, "enjoy a romantic relationship first, and then find an honest person to marry", this practice can satisfy their desire to experience a sweet romance and gain security and stability from an honest person.
In this view, honest loyalty is instead seen as a wishful thinking expectation on the part of women, and it is often said half-jokingly:
or "".
Therefore, in the values of contemporary society, honest people are often equated with good people with low emotional intelligence.
Never be an honest person, otherwise you will be suppressed by others for a long time,
"Honesty" is no longer seen as the ideal way to behave in life, and it comes with some significant drawbacks:
1. Social stereotype: honesty = lack of ability
Psychologist Albert Bandura's theory of social cognition proposes that
In order to effectively process cognitive information, when analyzing others (especially strangers), people often do not analyze the various characteristics of the person and their causes in detail, but quickly classify them into specific cognitive conclusions based on some of their characteristics.
Due to the similarities between people, this practice has gradually developed a broad social consensus, that is, social stereotypes.
Human cognitive resources are limited, and classification can help us quickly process massive information and save cognitive resources.
However, this approach also has its drawbacks, such as the fact that people often do not analyze each other's characteristics in detail and often ignore important details, resulting in cognitive biases towards a group.
Taking honest people as an example, the general view is that such people have few words, lack social competitiveness, and are ordinary and insignificant.
This stereotype leads people to ignore the fact that everyone's personality traits are different, some people are hardworking and motivated, while others are lazy, which largely determines how well a person performs in their field.
For example, everyone's educational background is different, so it is not possible to generalize.
However, in the minds of the public, honest people are often portrayed as a typical image of lack of ability, and if someone has a simple personality and acts steadily, they are often labeled as "honest people", which makes people doubt their abilities.
Second, honest people are under greater psychological pressure
From the above analysis, it can be seen that honest people are not stupid, on the contrary, they tend to be more thorough in observing and analyzing things.
Therefore, when their personal interests are violated, they will feel equally angry and resentful in their hearts.
But at the same time, since they don't like arguments and debates, this personality trait can easily put them in a situation of repression and neglect, and this long-term frustration can lead to great psychological stress.
Zhang Kui (not his real name) has a good reputation in the surrounding community and has been helpful since he was a child, but it is quite confusing that he seems to be quite resistant to receiving help from others.
In an interview with Zhang Kui, he opened his heart and solved the mystery for everyone.
Zhang Kui confessed that when he accepted help from others, he felt a strong sense of guilt and felt that he had caused trouble to others.
In fact, it is difficult to survive alone in interpersonal interactions, and relying on the strength of others can make life a little easier.
Some people commented that Zhang Kui was like this because he was overly kind and honest.
In addition, those with an honest personality often have difficulty adapting to their new environment in social situations.
Because they are not flexible and proactive in communicating and dealing with affairs, it is difficult for them to get along with other people, so they often have a small social circle and tend to come across as unapproachable.
Although they still have a deep desire to communicate and build friendly relationships, this inner ambivalence can exacerbate their psychological stress and cause them great suffering.
Moreover, prolonged isolation can lead to their marginalization in society, creating a vicious circle in which it is difficult to find a suitable place for themselves.
This makes them lack self-confidence and are afraid to take action to build friendly relationships, and the disadvantage of society further limits their career development.
3. The "Threshold Effect" of Psychology
Honest people also show a trait that they are not good at expressing their thoughts and do not dare to express their grievances or protest directly, even in the face of unfair treatment.
And those who take advantage of them tend to be more and more excessive, and have less and less respect for honest people, which is consistent with the "Foot In The Door Effect" in social psychology.
In the 70s of the last century, a psychologist in the United States conducted an experiment,
He sent staff to visit a group of families (about 10 households) and asked for a small sign to be hung in their windows, and the families agreed.
After some time, the staff visited the families again, and this time they offered to hang a bigger and uglier sign on the window, only 50% of the families agreed.
Subsequently, the staff interviewed another group of families and directly offered to hang bigger and uglier signs, only 20% of the families agreed.
The threshold effect in psychology tells us that once we accept a small request from someone else, it is difficult to say no to a larger request.
In the same way, those honest people constantly accept the small demands of others, on the one hand, to meet the expectations of the other party, and on the other hand, to maintain their own cognitive consistency, but unconsciously, their non-resistance makes the other party's oppressive behavior more and more serious.
Therefore, from a psychological point of view, never be too honest, or you may be under the pressure of others for a long time.
The End -
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
Keywords in this article: honesty, psychology
The picture comes from the Internet, please contact for infringement
WeChat public account: First Psychology